Silent

John knew I was mad at him. The silent treatment in the car I’d given him just an hour ago stung, knowing how much he liked when I spoke. I drove quickly over to his house and walked in the unlocked door to the faint smell of pot and liquor. He had just passed a joint to his right when I’d barged in.

I picked him up by the back of his collar and half kicked him down the hall into his room. He fell onto the bed and I locked the door. Nothing would disrupt me.

I’d given blow jobs before. Hell I was 21 just because I misses out on a year of sex doesn’t mean I don’t remember it. It’s like riding a bike. I tug down his jeans and in his stupor he’s too clumsy to stop me if he wanted to.

“Aellea- Angel- I- oh god.” He said as I sunk my head over his crotch warming up with him, covering my teeth as I bobbed, slowly going farther and farther down. “O- fuck- yes” He said and I smiled to myself. Still got it.

I jerked him off as my head left his shaft and moved down to him balls, kissing and licking them. When I sucked one into my mouth I thought he was going to bust his nut right there.

“Oh SHIT!” He barked and jerked his his upward- such an animalistic tendency. I move back up to his cock, choking a little as it looses control.

He doesn’t give me any warning when he cums, just shoots his hot load into my mouth. I sputter a little but swallow it, pulling back to wipe my mouth off.

I get sloppily pulled to his chest, my feet hanging off the end of the bed like that. I stay quiet as he calms his breathing. Maybe I proved to him that I’m not this fragile little thing. That I’m a whole person.

He kisses my hair and sighs. “How did my little angel know how to do that so well.” He chuckles and I’m sure I can feel my blood physically boil.

I climb out of his arms and off the bed. “I’m not as fucking innocent as you think I am!” I shout and I hear the music outside the door cut off- but I don’t care.

“Aellea-”

“No! Shut up and listen. Just because a part of me is broken doesn’t mean all of me is. No matter how much you seem to want me to be this broken, terrified little girl, I’M NOT.” I scream and He sits up, pulling his jeans back on.

“I don’t want-”

“I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.” I barked.

“I’m nearly twenty-fucking-two and if you don’t start treating me like it I have no problem leaving you. I’m not your fucking project.” I say and threw open the door and walked into the living room.

On my way past I held up my middle finger to his friends, “And fuck you too I can speak.” I march past as John tries to follow me out. I get into my car and swing out, John runs in front of my car but I swing around him, and honestly I wouldn’t have been too pissed if I’d hit him.

Now that I had John sorted, well at least in my own way, I felt shit about how I treated Nana. I pulled into the driveway and he car was still there. It was ten… maybe she had gone to bed. I quietly open the door to her and Pop’s room, “Nana?” I asked and sat down on the bed. I expected her to jump up, she’d been waiting so long to hear me speak.

“Nana?” I asked again and shook her shoulder. “Nana, hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I love you.” smile and pet her hair back. Why was she giving me the cold shoulder?

“Nana?” I asked getting worried. “Nana, come on.” I turn her over and she doesn’t move. “Nana?!” I shout and put my ear to her chest. Nothing. My eyes sting. My heart beat speeds up. “NANA?!”