Rescue Me
Anna
Why do I keep falling asleep? Every time I mess up I'm put to sleep. It isn't fair at all. I'm in a different part of the nurse's room when I wake up. She's staring at me in the corner.
"Why did you help them?" I ask.
She sighs and explains, "The people you're seeing that you think are trying to hurt you don't exist, Alice. It's part of the schizophrenia."
"No they aren't. You can't see them," I argue. She's silent, so I add, "Can I get up now?"
She nods and unhooks me. I walk out and as I'm walking back to my room, I see Zachary.
"Hi Alice," he mumbles. He points to a chair and sits down in the seat across from it. I take his offer.
"What all happened? Did they hurt you?" I ask, concerned for his safety.
"What? Oh, that. No, nothing happened," he replies.
"Good, because they killed me but Anna brought me back," I say.
"Who's Anna?" He asks. I knew he was going to. It's like he's stuck in his own little world.
"She's my little sister. She's 11. She travels with Mindy a lot. She only sees me sometimes, but most of the time she's at home," I explain.
He gives me his signature look that says he doesn't believe a word I say.
I sigh and change the subject. I remember I forgot to ask him about why he tried to kill himself.
"You know how you said you attempted suicide? I told you why I tried, so why did you?" I ask.
"Kinda the same as you. I'm bullied because I'm gay. They spat on my boyfriend and I and called us names like 'stupid fag' and things like that. They threw a lot of stuff at us," he says, on the verge of tears.
Even though we aren't allowed to touch, I reach over the table and hug him. "I'm so sorry," I console, "I'm so, so sorry."
He hugs back, surprised. He chokes out, "It's ok. Thank you." And I feel warm water on my shoulder.
One of the aides scolds, "Alice, no touching!"
I break away from his grasp. I glare at the aide and she ignores me.
I sigh and ask, "Do you want to play a game? There's Uno, Sorry, Trouble, a deck of cards, check-"
He cuts me off to say, "I don't really feel like playing anything. I'm kinda sad."
"I'm sorry. It's my fault isn't it?" I say, ashamed.
"No, not at all. It's just.. Something really bad must have happened to make you this way," he says with sorrow in his voice.
"Well, something did. I was 5 and-" I stop myself and continue, "nothing. Never mind."
I see Mindy and Anna walk onto the ward. I wave to them. They walk over and I introduce them to Zachary.
"Zachary, you've met Mindy but this is Anna, she's my little sister, remember?" I say proudly.
"Ummm," he says, still not convinced.
"Anna has brown hair and eyes like I do, how do you not see her? She's a mini-me. She looks just like I did at that age," I point out, getting frustrated.
He looks away and says shyly, "I'm sorry, she isn't real."
I push through Anna and Mindy and stomp back to my room. Is he blind? Is he stupid? No, he's both! Presley gets in my way so I slam her into the wall and kick her in the shins, like I've wanted to for so long now. Then I enter my room and slam the door. I hear sobs from just outside my window and realize I've upset Zachary even more. Gosh, I'm such an idiot. I'm mean and I lie.
No, I can't think like that. He's wrong. He's the blind one, not me. It isn't my problem.
"Why did you help them?" I ask.
She sighs and explains, "The people you're seeing that you think are trying to hurt you don't exist, Alice. It's part of the schizophrenia."
"No they aren't. You can't see them," I argue. She's silent, so I add, "Can I get up now?"
She nods and unhooks me. I walk out and as I'm walking back to my room, I see Zachary.
"Hi Alice," he mumbles. He points to a chair and sits down in the seat across from it. I take his offer.
"What all happened? Did they hurt you?" I ask, concerned for his safety.
"What? Oh, that. No, nothing happened," he replies.
"Good, because they killed me but Anna brought me back," I say.
"Who's Anna?" He asks. I knew he was going to. It's like he's stuck in his own little world.
"She's my little sister. She's 11. She travels with Mindy a lot. She only sees me sometimes, but most of the time she's at home," I explain.
He gives me his signature look that says he doesn't believe a word I say.
I sigh and change the subject. I remember I forgot to ask him about why he tried to kill himself.
"You know how you said you attempted suicide? I told you why I tried, so why did you?" I ask.
"Kinda the same as you. I'm bullied because I'm gay. They spat on my boyfriend and I and called us names like 'stupid fag' and things like that. They threw a lot of stuff at us," he says, on the verge of tears.
Even though we aren't allowed to touch, I reach over the table and hug him. "I'm so sorry," I console, "I'm so, so sorry."
He hugs back, surprised. He chokes out, "It's ok. Thank you." And I feel warm water on my shoulder.
One of the aides scolds, "Alice, no touching!"
I break away from his grasp. I glare at the aide and she ignores me.
I sigh and ask, "Do you want to play a game? There's Uno, Sorry, Trouble, a deck of cards, check-"
He cuts me off to say, "I don't really feel like playing anything. I'm kinda sad."
"I'm sorry. It's my fault isn't it?" I say, ashamed.
"No, not at all. It's just.. Something really bad must have happened to make you this way," he says with sorrow in his voice.
"Well, something did. I was 5 and-" I stop myself and continue, "nothing. Never mind."
I see Mindy and Anna walk onto the ward. I wave to them. They walk over and I introduce them to Zachary.
"Zachary, you've met Mindy but this is Anna, she's my little sister, remember?" I say proudly.
"Ummm," he says, still not convinced.
"Anna has brown hair and eyes like I do, how do you not see her? She's a mini-me. She looks just like I did at that age," I point out, getting frustrated.
He looks away and says shyly, "I'm sorry, she isn't real."
I push through Anna and Mindy and stomp back to my room. Is he blind? Is he stupid? No, he's both! Presley gets in my way so I slam her into the wall and kick her in the shins, like I've wanted to for so long now. Then I enter my room and slam the door. I hear sobs from just outside my window and realize I've upset Zachary even more. Gosh, I'm such an idiot. I'm mean and I lie.
No, I can't think like that. He's wrong. He's the blind one, not me. It isn't my problem.