Let the Fun Begin

It’s been five weeks, five weeks without Christian and I. I am falling deeper and deeper into depression. I haven’t eaten, maybe just junk food watching romantic movies but I can’t really relate to that, me and Christian’s relationship is more complicated than just a kiss and saying 'I love you', no that does not suit him, but it does me. “Hey you okay, you look like crap.” Jacky snaps me out of my frenzy zone. “Uh, yeah.” I whisper opening my locker throwing my books in. Jacky leans on the locker door and shook her head. “I am sorry, but it’s for the best you know.” For the best, I am dying from the inside. “Yeah, for the best, I have to get to class.” I mumble walking away from my best friend; I do indeed look like shit. Red circles around my grey eyes, I am wearing my brother’s over sized hoodie that covers everything, black loose jeans and my vans sneakers, so yeah I look like crap. I don’t care I just need him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Big test today, you ready?” Darby asks as I took place next to her, throwing my Math book on the desk. “Sure, and you, are you ready?” She can hear I am not in the mood to talk or in fact in the mood for anything. “Test, pack your books away.” Cross barge's in class, he looks still the same. I have been ignoring him or he me, he haven’t been in class for over four weeks, some sub took his place, looks like he is back and ready for action. I push my book under my desk and got out my pen. “You have one hour.” Cross mummer's placing a pack of tests on each desk in front. I just look down from embarrassment. “Begin.” He groans and went to his desk, Cross is looking amazing not crap at all, black trousers, and white flannel shirt one button loose so you can see his gold chain around his neck. His father got that for him, he never wore it why now? I shook of all my thoughts and concentrate on the test. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thirty minutes went by and I am done, I slowly stood up with the test still walking with my head down to the floor. “How was it?” I have to look up he is asking me a question. “It was fine sir.” He sounds like my teacher and I his student, its painful. “That’s good.” he held out his hand as I give him the test. “Are you okay?” No don’t cry, don’t cry you’re the one who left him. “I would lie if I told you I am okay.” I whisper playing with my knotted fingers. “Can we talk?” “What is there to talk about?” I bit down on my bottom lip holding the tears in. “Sure, I will come when I have home room.” He nods and waves to my desk. “Okay.” I don’t want to go through this again, I don’t want to hurt, but I love him I really do this is just so hard!