The Fear of Falling Apart

Tom

Pulling my shirt on, a cocky smirk appeared on my face as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. A white button up shirt clung to my upper body and showed off my tattoo sleeve while a pair of skinny black jeans sat on my lower body, topped off with vans and my usual messy hair.

I had been in Spain for three days. Those three days had been full of me partying, getting smashed off my skull and finding random girls who clearly wanted a good time – which I more than happily supplied. I may have been harsh cheating on Robin, especially when she had Mae, but the words Oli had spoken to me the day Mae was born haunted me since.

“You might want to speak to her about her feelings then, I don’t think she’s returning the ones you’re sending out.”

My head had been spinning since; I couldn’t come to terms with Oli admitting he was in love with my girlfriend, my girlfriend. The girl who I had planned to marry and have more children with – not that I didn’t adore Mae, because she was the best thing to happen to me. It shocked me that my brother had felt this way about Robin, although I couldn’t blame him because she was perfect. Smart, funny and beautiful. She had put her entire teaching career on hold because I had stupidly got her pregnant – yet I didn’t regret my daughter.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss Mae or Robin, because I did, more than anything. I hadn’t spoken to either of them since I arrived in this country with my bestfriend and wingman, Harry. The only time I had was a five minute call to let Robin know I had arrived safely due to the excessive fear she had about me using planes as often as I did.

But grabbing my phone and keys, I headed out of the large luxury hotel room I had been staying in. Heading down the corridor towards Harry’s room, a blonde male who was a year older than me, wearing similar attire to my own as he gave me a wide grin.

“Ready?” His voice laced full of mischief as I nodded in response, watching as he shut the door, the pair of us then heading off into the Spanish night life.
-

Three hours later, I couldn’t count the amount of alcoholic drink I had inhaled. My system clouded as I took yet another girl back to the hotel room. If I remembered rightly, her name was Haylee. She was attractive, but compared to Robin, nothing. Shaking my head, I shut the door behind us as I pushed her against the door, her back slamming against the wood as I pressed my lips to hers.

The alcohol now fast taking effect as I continued to run my hands up her body, the skin tight red dress proving a problem to get off as she smirked, pulling back and bringing her hand up to her back, unzipping it and letting it fall to the floor as I attached my lips to her neck, moving down to the valley of her chest as I picked her up, her legs wrapping around my waist as I moved my lips back to her own, her hands desperately trying to pull my shirt off as she fell on the bed backwards, her dark brown hair flying everywhere as she smirked at me, unbuttoning the final buttons of my shirt before throwing it on the floor.

I crawled back on top of her as I continued to move my lips with hers, moving the night away with my hips against her own.

Lying there after, I looked to my left, the girl still fast asleep as I sighed, crawling off the bed and heading towards the shower. My phone beeping as I frowned in confusion. Grabbing it to avoid waking the sleeping Haylee, I looked at the iPhone screen, seeing a withhold number before cutting off. Displaying a picture of me and Mae when she was first born, my eyes tired as I smiled slightly. Sliding my finger across the screen, I sighed with relief as the message was from Robin, simply saying the same thing as she did every night. "Goodnight."