Lost in Stereo

Jack’s POV

Fuck. Fuck it. Fuck that. Fuck 50 Shades. Fuck Alex. Fucking Alex. Woah. Yeah I like that one. NO. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. This keeps happening. WHY? I’m straight. More importantly Alex is straight. But he did look attractive this morning. Lying in bed, helpless. I love it when that happens. That reminds me, later I have to ask him what his boner was about!

I’d just logged on to twitter and was about to tweet about this morning’s interview when there came a knock on my door.

“Who is it?”
“It’s Rian”
“Right ok come on in, door’s open.”

He came in and sat next to me at my desk, I was still composing my tweet.

“So what’s up?” I asked.
“Are you gay?”
“Um, what?”
“Jack, be honest with me, I won’t tell anyone; are you gay?”
“Where is this coming from?” Can he like, read minds or something?!
“Because if you were, the boys and I would totally be ok with it”
“What??? Why do you think I’m gay Rian?”
“It’s just the way you’ve been acting recently, around Alex”
“So you came in here just to tell me you know that I really fancy Alex, that’s the only reason you came in?” God. There should be a rule about not bringing up a guys’ sexuality while he’s tweeting.
“So you do fancy Alex?”
“What? I never said that”
“You just did. You said- ‘so you came in here just to tell me you know that I really fancy Alex’”

Shit.

“Look Ri, you can’t tell him. I’m not even sure I’m gay, I just know I want Alex. If it was any other guy- no, I’d be straight. But man, Alex..” I trailed off thinking about his eyes, his hair and him.
“Jack don’t worry, I won’t say a word.” He smiled at me, got up, and left.

It got to tea time so I went downstairs to cook some pasta for me and Alex, he was stood, leaning on the counter with a cup of tea in his left hand.

“Oh, hi Alex. I was just gonna make some pasta; want some?” I asked him, trying to not be awkward.
“Oh yeah sure, that’d be great.”
“Wanna make the sauce?” That’s probably the one thing Alex can actually do in a kitchen, apart from making cups of tea of course.
“Yep”
“Lex?”
“Jack?”
“I wish to know what your hard on was over this morning”
“Ahh, um well. It was over-”

“JACK JACK JACK” Zack burst through the doors.
“Um, yes Zack?”
“WHY AREN’T YOU WATCHING OLI ON TV???”
“Oh right, forgot he had an interview today” said Alex, he wondered over and turned on the TV.
“REWIND REWIND REWIND” demanded Zack.

“So Oli, would you ever date Chelsea?”
“No.”
“How come you got Chelsea tattooed on your arm then?”
“It actually says Chelsea Teens because I watched Chatroom and it really changed my fucking life.”
“Right well for all you, um I guess they call it Olsea, Olsea shippers out there- sorry to disappoint.”

“And that was so interesting because..?” I asked curiously.
“Well, you dated Chelsea and Oli is your best mate.” Answered Zack.
“But I kind of know none of my mates would date my ex- it’s sort of an unspoken rule.”
“Oh, I didn’t know”
“Aww, you are cute Zack” responded Alex, sympathising with Zack’s ignorance. Zack left and I continued my conversation with Alex.

Alex’s POV

Jack: so, you were saying?
me: oh yeah um

what the hell am i supposed to say now. it was over him. i can’t say that. he’s straight. i know.

me: it was over lisa.
Jack: jesus. man are you ok?

he stopped stirring the pasta and he gave me a hug.

i hugged him back. tight. if i’d had my way, i would’ve never let go. this makes me sound like a wimp but a few tears actually formed in my eyes. it was out of pure love for my best friend. thank you, God, for his existence.

Jack: Alex don’t worry about it, you were going out with her for ages. You’ll get through this, it’s gonna get better. I know you miss her, but I’m here for you, and so are the boys.

i was hugging him so tightly. my tears dampening his shirt. his head rested down on my shoulder. i don’t know how long we stayed like that, but it wasn’t awkward. it was silent, apart from my occasional sharp breath.

a hissing sound entered our ears and drew us from this blissful state. it was the sauce- it was ready. we split the pasta between us and sat next to each other at the little break-fast bar/counter.

Jack: Lex?
me: yeah?
Jack: are you going to be ok?
me: i guess so
Jack: don’t do anything to yourself.

i love how he didn’t say ‘don’t do anything stupid’. it’s like he knows it isn’t stupid. all those people who commit suicide or self-harm- they have reasons; calling those reasons stupid makes the reasons bigger. maybe we get that because we’ve been through shit, or maybe because we know our fans are going through shit, but the fact is we know it’s not stupid, and we’re here for each other and for our fans, and we hope they know that.

me: i won’t Jack
Jack: i’m always gonna be here for you
me: i know Jack

and we continued eating our pasta.

i was in my room writing some more lyric ideas.

your smile is ecstasy; the more i see, the further i’m out.
when i’m close to you my heart starts to fly

something in the way you say my name
it’s in the way I look at you too
i’m tired of this dumb little game
can’t you feel my pain? i know you do.

trust me with our secret; the more i hear, the further i’m out.
when i’m near to you, my head pounds and pounds

I’m not really sure though..

therefore i started messing about singing random songs. i was on ‘let the love bleed red’ by sleeping with sirens when somebody knocked on my door.

me: hello?
Rian: hi it’s Rian can i come in?
me: sure
Rian: i have to ask you a question
me: shoot
Rian: are you gay and in love with Jack?
me: [nods]
Rian: ok
me: but you can’t tell the lads
Rian: i won’t. but Alex?
me: yes?
Rian: i asked Jack the same thing but about you.
me: WHAT?
Rian: yeah, earlier today.
me: AND?
Rian: he likes you, but he’s in denial.
me: what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Rian: he’ll say no if you ask if he’s gay, but if you- let’s say- make a move, he’ll go with it

Jack’s POV

My phone beeped- I had a text from Zack saying- ‘PARTY AT MINE TONIGHT! GET THE WORD OUT!’ That’ll be fun. Something worthwhile(ish) usually happens at one of his parties. I called upstairs for Alex and Rian who were hanging out in Alex’s room.

“Alex! Rian!”
“Yeah?” Alex popped his head out of the door. He was looking fine.
“Party at Zack’s tonight, let some people know, okay?”
“Sure Jack!”

Wait. Drunken Jack + Drunken Alex = I don’t have a clue what could happen and there will be people there oh my gosh what the hell am I supposed to do I can’t just not drink because it’s a party and it would be suspicious I don’t know what to do I need to talk to Rian.

“Rian?”
“Yes?” he called down.
“I really need to talk to you can you come down here for a minute?”
“uhhh sure, be right back Alex” and he walked downstairs.

“What’s bothering you?”
“So, Zack’s party. Drinking. Getting drunk. Alex getting drunk. Me doing stupid things when I’m drunk. Alex doing stupid things. Get my drift???”
“Right, um ok, I have a plan”
“What?”
“I won’t drink, that’s not a problem for me because I can’t drink that much anyway and yeah so I will watch you and make sure you don’t do anything that I wouldn’t if I was in your situation..”
“Yes ok, great thanks man, woah that’s a weight off my chest!”
“No worries. I gotta get back to Alex” and he walked back upstairs and entered Alex’s room. What are they talking about?

It got to around 6pm before I went for a shower (which ended up taking 20 minutes) and then I had to choose what to wear. Since my discovery of being gay for Alex, I’ve been putting a lot more thought into what I wear, in the hope of getting Alex to like me too. I decided on some black jeans and then discovered all my shirts are ugly and they make me look awful. I don’t know how I’ve actually been living in them. I called up Rian.

“Yeah Jack, what’s up?”
“Don’t laugh, this is a serious problem; I don’t know what to wear.”
“Right, I’m coming over.”

In about 5 minutes Rian was knocking on my bedroom door.

“Thanks for coming man” I answered the door, shirtless to emphasise which part of the outfit I couldn’t figure out. After taking a look in my wardrobe he pulled out 3 shirts for me to try on. All very similar. One was a navy v-neck, one was a white v-neck and one was a black v-neck.
“Right, personally I would go for the white v-neck because it’s fitted. What are you doing about shoes?”
“Not a clue”
“Go for the black converse”
“Right. I really appreciate this Ri.”
“It’s all right man, we all get insecure about stuff.” He’s such a great friend, I owe him 5 billion beers.

Alex’s POV

meets people. drinks. drinks. talks. meets people. drinks. dances. drinks. drinks. drinks. talks. dances. drinks. drinks. drinks. meets people. talks. drinks. dances. dances. meets people. talks. drinks. drinks.

roughly in that order.

i was across from the hallway and i saw Jack leaning against the wall with a beer in his hand. he was talking to Rian who was holding a can of coke. that guy needs to drink more. i stood watching them for a bit, Jack looked amazing. he was wearing these skinny jeans with a tight white shirt. just- wow. after about 10 minutes Rian went to the bathroom and i walked over to Jack. this is pretty much how our conversation went.

me: [forces mouth onto Jack’s mouth and kisses him passionately]
Jack: [doesn’t stop me]
me: Jack
Jack: Lex?
me: i, i think i love you
Jack: [snogs me]
me: hey
Jack: hey
me: let’s go upstairs
Jack: yes.

we stumbled up the stairs. i had no control over my body- i was so drunk but so in love with Jack.

Jack: bed. now.

i lay on the bed, as ordered. he straddled me and kissed me hard. i could feel his heart beating through his chest. my fingers tangled in his hair. between our kisses came spurts of laughter as we attempted to undress each other. at some point we must’ve given up because we both woke up shirt and trouser-less with pounding headaches.

Jack: alex
me: uhuh.
Jack: ..what..
me: i remember snogging.
Jack: yeah, a lot of snogging.
me: nothing more?
Jack: nothing more.
me: should we get up?
Jack: yeah.
me: want the first shower?
Jack: how about we share it?
me: that would be more economically friendly.
Jack: definitely.

we undressed fully and stepped into the shower, one after the other. he was beautiful. and he had a boner. speaking of boners i had one too.

Jack: Lex are you gay for me?
me: [nods]
me: are you gay for me?
Jack: dear God yes.

and with that, we crashed out lips together and smiled into each kiss. the water soon grew cold so we stepped out and soaking wet, we made our way over to the bed.

Jack took over control. i thought it was cute. he was so confident. i was a little surprised about how much he knew when it came to gay sex though. We were both hard and we were grinding into each other.

Jack: are you ready?
me: yeah

he pushed into me. it hurt for a moment but then it felt good.

Jack: [groans]
me: JackYyYY
Jack: alex

it went on for a while. i was holding in; barely. suddenly Jack broke. his cum filled me. it was a weird sensation. but man there was a lot of it. this pushed me over the edge and my cum went all over the bed. he pulled out and we did some more snogging in our cum-filled bed and then discovered we needed another shower.