Bourbon and Ray-Bans

“The first time I met Norman he was leaning against his trailer smoking a cigarette. He looked at me, and I couldn’t decide whether he wanted to fuck me or murder me.” The crowd chuckled as I recounted my first impression of the man sitting next to me.

“Probably a bit of both.” I looked at Norm, and he smiled a bit devilishly.

“Speaking of fucking,” grinned host Chris Hardwick, “you two seem to spend an awful lot of downtime together. The rumor mill has been eating that up for the past few months. Anything y’all wanna share with Philly?”

The panel audience whooped and hollered. Cat calls came from multiple directions. I turned a generous shade of red, and Norman just kept grinning like an idiot into the microphone. At every con we attended, this question had become the most popular - beating even the ubiquitous ‘what would you do in a zombie apocalypse’.

“Come on, guys. Give us something juicy!” Hardwick wasn’t going to let this one slide.

“Juicy, huh?” I laughed, snuck a peek at Norman, and looked back at the crowd. “Norman has long-legged model types calling him at all hours of the night. The Plain Jane co-worker, geniously played by myself, hardly hits his radar.”

“Pfffft,” Norman sputtered next to me.

“What?” I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to look incredulous.

“I’d hit that in a heartbeat if you gave me half a chance.” More cat calls and shouting. Why the hell was a non-existent relationship so exciting for these people? Especially one involving myself.

“Yeah. Right. Cause you’ve tried so many times.” Norman unexpectedly leaned over and kissed my cheek. The room went mad. Jesus. He chuckled as I turned a deeper shade of red.

“Seriously, though. We spend a lot of time together on purpose. We know our characters are totally going to hook up sooner or later, and they’re already forming a tight bond this season. We thought it’d be a good idea to form a similar bond so that we can better establish our on-screen relationship. Plus, she’s one of the only people who can kick my son’s ass at Call of Duty. Friends with benefits has taken on a whole new meaning.” Norman smiled graciously at the crowd and took a sip of his iced coffee.

Thirty minutes later the auditorium had emptied. My stomach was screaming at me to eat the first edible thing I saw. Norman had left a few minutes earlier to make a phone call. Chris was chatting with one of the con’s producers. Grabbing my bag, I threw it over my shoulder, waved to Chris, and headed towards the exit.

“Want to grab a bite, maybe drinks?” Norman grabbed the sleeve of my hoodie, startling me out of my foodie daydream.

“Sure. How about that pub around the corner? A drink would really hit the spot.” We headed out of the hotel and towards the pub. The night was warm and humid, the concrete having soaked in the sun all day. I’d never been to Philadelphia before. Hell, a year ago I had been an accountant in Atlanta with no acting aspirations whatsoever. Every day still felt like a foggy dream.

“What are you thinking about with that look on your face?” He’d lit a cigarette and removed his Ray-Bans.

“What look?”

“Your face is all scrunched up and you look like you’re in pain. Must be serious.” His lips quirked in a half smile. Sometimes he still managed to look like a little boy despite his 42 years.

“Nah, just thinking about what a strange place this is to be. With the show and all. And with you.” I don’t know what had made me say that last bit.

“With me? What’s strange about that?” He continued smoking, but stopped walking.

“Just...I don’t know. Me standing here about to have dinner with Norman Reedus. You have a freaking kid with Helena ‘Wicked Games’ Christensen. How did I end up here? I was a bean counter only 12 months ago. I still am, technically.” At some point, I knew this world would end for me. I was here by fluke and that wouldn’t last forever.

“Oh, shut the fuck up. Is this some kind of quarter life existential crisis bullshit? You’re here because you killed your audition. Nailed it. I was there. I read with 20+ actresses and none of them were even close, bean counter. You earned your place. Now let’s eat.” He hurriedly continued walking, rounding the corner and into the bar before I had a chance to catch up.

Entering the pub, my eyes adjusted to the dark smokiness of the place and quickly scanned the room for Reedus. He saw me and waved me over to the bar where a pretty bartender was already busy pouring his first drink. By the way she was smiling at him, I knew this was going to be a long night.

Sliding onto the stool next to him, I flashed the girl my biggest smile and ordered a glass of their best whiskey. A double. Straight up. It would be tonight’s armor. Never taking her eyes off Norman, she poured my drink, slid it towards me, and continued to ignore everyone except the man beside me. He smiled, thanked her for the drink, and asked to see a menu.

Pulling out my cell phone, I dutifully began to ignore whatever the hell was going to happen next to me. If Norman wanted to hook up, I had no intentions of fucking it up. And no, I wasn’t jealous. Not really. Just annoyed at how easily another woman could capture his attention when he was with me. If only all those lovesick fangirls could see us now.

He shoved the menu at me as I listened to a voicemail from my mom. The second bartender, an older gentleman with a heavy Irish accent, took our food orders. He shot Flirty McFlirty a dirty look before marching off to put our order in to the kitchen. I drained my glass in two gulps.

“Slow down, B. It’ll be an awfully short night if you keep that up.”

“I don’t intend for this night to be anything other than short. There’s a bed calling my name a block away, and I fully intend to answer that call sooner rather than later. Besides, from what I can see you don’t really need me here.” I ordered another drink and hoped the food would arrive quickly or else I’d have a hard time walking back to the hotel alone.

“What? You think I take all the lady bartenders home? You should know better than that.” Despite her best pouty lip, Norman was not giving the girl much attention. Guess he was tired too.

“And it’s not like I’m the only one on the receiving side of some lustful staring.” He smirked at something to my right. Swiveling around, I saw a portly guy in a suit two sizes too small nervously leering in my directly. How does one manage a nervous leer?

“Oh, yay. My night just continues to improve. I’m such a babe magnet.” Drink number two disappeared quicker than the first.

“What crawled up your ass and died today? You’ve been in bitchfest mode since we got on the plane this morning.” He was still nursing his first Jack and coke.

“Nothing. I’m just exhausted. I haven’t gotten used to all this yet. Sorry.” I hated how whiny I sounded. And I honestly had no clue what was bothering me. I hoped sleep would help.

Finishing off his drink, he just looked at me. It made me nervous so I looked away. Our food was on its way. As soon as it was in front of me, I began inhaling every last bite. I wasn’t a girl who was shy about eating.

Norman chuckled next to me. I continued to stuff to my face.

“You know, that’s why I love you so much.” I stopped eating.

“What?”

He was still smiling at me. “The way you eat. It’s like no other girl I’ve ever known. You eat like it’s your last meal every single time. You even get winded.”

I knew I was blushing, and I hated it. Wiping my mouth on my napkin, I hopped off the stool and glared at him. “Fuck you.” The world was spinning but only slightly. I couldn’t get out of this stupid pub fast enough.

“Wait, B. Come back. I didn’t mean anything by that. It was supposed to be a fucking compliment.” He pulled a stack of twenties from his wallet and threw them at the bartender. I was already pushing the door open.

In an attempt to quicken my pace and elude Norman, I managed to trip over my own goddamn feet and hit the sidewalk hard. He grabbed my upper arm and began to pull me to my feet. I shrugged him off and stood on my own.

“The city could probably sue you for that.” His eyes were filled with laughter. Sometimes he could be a total dick.

“What?” I had no clue what the hell he was talking about. Philly’s lights were beginning to spin. I needed to lie down.

He pointed at the ground that was dotted with my blood. I looked down at my knee and saw that I had ripped my pants and cut myself pretty badly. The spinning increased, and I lost my balance.

“Whoa, now.” He wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me and pointed me in the direction of the hotel. “Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”

“I can manage on my own.” I didn’t like his arm around me. I couldn’t stop concentrating on where his fingers had pushed under my shirt and onto my skin. This needed to stop. I needed to stop. Alcohol was a traitorous bitch.

He ignored my plea and walked me back to the hotel in silence. Once we were on the elevator, he let me go and pushed my floor number. I leaned against the cool wall and closed my eyes. I could feel his gaze on me, but I just didn’t have the energy to care. Once the elevator came to a stop, his arm when back around me, and we trudged down the hallway slowly. I grabbed my hotel key out of my bag and unlocked the door. I sat on the bed as he went into the bathroom and wet a washcloth. Kneeling at my feet, he gently pressed the warm cloth to my knee and cleaned the wound. I fell back on the bed and was asleep in under a minute.