Simple Things

I realized that it was never going to go back to the way it was. And that was the worst part. How am I just supposed to move on? It's like I'm nothing now, drifting on a path to nowhere.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop thinking of him. It's been two weeks since he left, why does his face plague every single one of my thoughts? Tomorrow is the first day of school, I need to seem like I have it all together otherwise everyone will pity me.
Slowly I got up and walked into my closet. The teal walls looked gray in the dim light. I hadn't gone school shopping so I was stuck choosing something from the beginning of summer. Oh how I wish I could go back, back to him anyway.
Finally I decided on a tank dress, it had white on top and floral on the bottom. I wondered if he would've liked it. I chose white strap heels and my matching purse that I bought with the dress.
Suddenly I felt exhausted like I had ran a marathon. I collapsed in bed deciding that my shower could wait until tomorrow. Before drifting off , his face popped into my mind.
Sluggishly I walked toward the entrance of Red Bank Regional high school, dreading the days to come. My blonde hair flowed like a golden stream behind me. I smiled the whole way, but it felt like I was wearing a mask.
Sometimes when I cannot sleep at night I wonder when it's gonna get better, or when someone will notice that I'm not okay. I ignored the immense pain in my chest and kept walking towards what seemed to be my doom.
All of a sudden an arm linked with mine. It was of course Emerald. Her black hair seemed to shine brightly in the sun, as if each strand was a star, blinding but beautiful.. Her smile was as white as fresh snow.
“hey” Em said in her quiet tone.
“hey” I responded in a fake happy tone.
“I missed you all summer” She said sincerely.
“yeah sorry for not texting, I was busy with painting” I said trying to sound believable. I knew that I didn't but what could I possibly say that would make up for it?sorry that I didn't want to ruin her back to school shopping with my tears and thoughts of suicide? I know what she would say, suicide is stupid. Suicide is stupid? You wanna know whats stupid? Hurting someone so much emotionally they think suicide is the only answer. She didn't say anything else she just sighed and hugged my arm closer.
“wooo!” screamed a couple of typical Red Bank boys running past us.
“Nasty” Em said loudly. I rolled my eyes.
“did you get contacts?” Emerald whispered into my ear, her hot breath tickling my lower neck.
“No” I said staring quizzically at her.
“oh your eyes just seem bluer than usual” She said blowing off my facial expression. They were bluer! But not because of contacts, it was because on the inside I felt as if I had died. I'm like a corpse trying to stay alive.
Emerald always reminded me of a cat because of her green eyes and her smooth ways of moving. Jealousy sadly played a factor in my observation. I was like a dog. A golden retriever to be exact, I'm clumsy and awkward.
He again flashed through my mind. How would he feel if he knew how I was thinking of myself now? Would he care?
I remembered back to the first day that I had met him. A warm summer breeze blew my teal dress around while I walked down main street. Not too many cars were around, which was surprising since usually there were a lot of tourists. The sun seemed to be hotter than usual.
I walked through the half deserted town wondering what the months to come will bring.
Out of nowhere a loud moving truck zoomed past. I jumped and let out a half volume squeak. I couldn't help but notice how the bumper was all rickety and partially falling off. Suddenly someone bumped into me, I felt myself falling and I got ready for the impact on the ground. But I never hit it. Actually I was being held up by tan muscular arms. Surprised, I looked up to see two perfectly green eyes. A shy smile spread across his face.
“I'm so sorry” I said standing up and backing up a bit.
“no it was my bad” He said, his voice was relaxed. His blonde hair seemed to make his eyes look like dark green gems.
“I haven't seen you around, Are you new?” I asked trying not to sound desperate.
“well new is relative but to this town I guess you could say I am new” The man said grinning. “I'm Easton” He said shaking my hand, even though now that seemed a bit silly.
“I'm Violet” I responded calmly.
“see you around” He said smiling at me and walking on. My thoughts raced with possibilities.
Later that day I walked into my house, which was filled with the smell of paint and Chinese food. My garage apartment is more like a loft, a very nice loft. The walls are painted teal, my most favorite color and I have two huge windows over looking the rest of town. You could call it heaven.
I sat on top my bed wondering about that boy but betting that I’ll never see him again. Doubtfully I laid back on to my bed and hoped, just hoped that I would see him again, soon.
In a way I believe that we are all searching for those demons that play well with ours. That was the thought that crossed my mind as I popped one of my Schizo pills into my mouth and felt it slide down my throat.
The next day was Sunday, I remember every single moment. I had changed into my dress that had black heart shape on the top and peach as the skirt. My hair was curled and I wore my black strap heels. I walked into my mothers kitchen smiling brilliantly.
Then I saw him. He was sitting at the counter looking at me, his mouth just a little bit open. There sat the man that I had been praying about all night. He was just sitting there casually in my kitchen. It was Easton.
“Honey, this is our new neighbor Easton” my mother said to me smiling.
“yeah , we met yesterday.” I responded astounded by his perfect way of dressing.
“Oh” my mother said in surprise looking at me. But I didn't pay attention, all I could think about was him. His perfect green eyes that seem to reflect light as if they're glass, the way he smiles as if he has never been sad, and the way his hair was styled to look messy but chic. He was perfect.
“well we'd better get to church before we're late” My mother said motioning towards the door with her arm. A tight over protective smile across her face. Rolling my eyes ,I inspected his outfit. while we all piled into the car I noticed he wore a light green polo and black dress pants. The light green polo seemed to make his eyes stand out more than they already did.
He seemed to not notice me noticing him which was strange since any basic red bank boy would be thrilled that I was looking at him, but then again he definitely was not a red bank boy. He ran his fingers through his messy hair, which bounced back without hesitation. For the rest of the ride I stared out the window, watching the willow trees and a pine trees fly by.
The water shimmered as I stepped out of our black new age Comaro. My steps made click noises which had always annoyed me because it just reminded me of mrs.steepingson. My old third grade teacher that seemed to always make me feel not good enough. I craved to show her who I am now. I am skinny and beautiful, not fat and ugly like I was back then. Yes it meant I didn't try the new frosty at Wendys or the new peppermint shake at Starbucks or even any lunch or dinner. But I so badly wanted to be wanted I mean it was eighth grade, next year I would be a freshman, I could totally re-invent myself, so I did. Ever since then it's been breakfast , yoga, dance, and sleep.
My body jumped as if I had been in a trance. I looked up to see the pastor yelling away at a couple a few rows from me. From what he was saying I could easily assume they had just gotten married and he was preaching along the lines of adultery and such. Way to jump the gun pastor.
I looked over at him, sitting next to my mother , so perfect. Once in a while the pastor would tell one of his oh so corny jokes and Easton would actually smile. It was as if he thought they were funny, from what I could see he wasn't faking it. My surprise at this took me back. How long have I been fake smiling? Days? Weeks? Months? Possibly even years?
Then right when I felt like I had no hope left for us in the world, he looked at me. His green eyes burned into mine, with passion yet patience.
One could say that I became a little obsessed with the thought of him. His face pierced my every thought and never failed to make my heart race. The thought of the way his eyes looked at me would make my palms sweat and my hands shake. Over all I felt like a school girl with a crush, Never letting him drift to far away in my mind.
The next day I sat at the local diner sipping coffee and searching on my newsfeed for any intelligent life, but sadly there was none. Posts and posts about useless information, people vacationing in Hawaii and Florida, while I sit here by myself in the diner. The bells my the door make a small jingly noise while some one came in. I was too indulged in an angry status someone put up about their “best-friend” to even look up. But when I felt a presence standing above me I looked up.
Amanda Wilson stood above me a brilliantly triumphant smile spread across her face. My eyes widen in surprise and disappointment, I had been secretly wishing it'd be Easton. I jumped up reflexively and hugged her.
“hey girl! How've you been?”I asked trying to sound as sincere as possible.
“Oh you know the usual, just got back from a five star resort in Mexico” She said adding a small emphasis on the five. Her tan skin seemed to almost glow in the florescent light of the diner. Her yellow Victoria's secret jacket seemed to almost make her a bit orange. Her teeth were a bit too white and her nails a little too long, but who was I to judge anyway.
“how was it?” I asked pretending to sound interested when all I really wanted to do was push a button that sounded like a fire alarm so I could escape this mass torture of her vocabulary.
“oh it was just amazing, I met this guy-” she kept going but I stopped listening , because there walking past the diner was Easton, wearing just some simple Adidas shorts and a white wife beater that seemed to glow in the ever setting sun. At that exact moment I wished I had a camera to take a picture of this perfect moment.
Quickly I pretended to get a text from my mom and excused myself from the conversation. I half walked half sprinted out the door , until I reached Easton. He immediately noticed me and smiled.
“hey” He smiled , his teeth almost letting off a soft glow in the dimming light.
“whats up?” I said trying to sound cool but not careless.
“oh nothing heading home after my run” he said looking at me, again his eyes seemed to make butterflies appear in my stomach,flying around like a bunch of lost birds.
I had nothing to say, nothing clever or daring, or even interesting at all.
After what had seemed like forever he broke the silence with the most beautiful question I had ever heard come out of a humans mouth.
“i was just wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow?”
“me? Uhm no I don't think so, why?” I asked trying to not sound too eager.
“Can you meet me at the park, tomorrow at like one”
“sure, sounds great!” I answered smiling.
“see ya then” he called off as I headed down my drive way towards my house. When I got into my loft I screamed, not just a little girly scream but like a full on high pitched woman scream. I couldn't control myself, it was as if every single fiber of my being was blooming, like a delicate pink rose.
Suddenly I remembered that tomorrow might come too soon, I hadn't shaved my legs in a week, my eye brows were growing bushes, ,my nails were chipped and unfiled, and I had no clue what I was going to wear. It's gonna be a long night.
The freezing cold water hit my body like a splash of ice. I jumped back and turned the hot one up some more. But then when I touched it it felt like lava was pouring down my arm! After about seven minutes of this special little water dance it adjusted to the perfect temperature. While In the shower I made sure to go over my legs twice, wouldn't want any extra hair showing up on my date. Date! Oh how I love calling it that. I have a date with the most perfect man in the whole world. I'm surprised no girl has snatched him up yet!
After my shower and my leg shaving epidemic I move onto my eye brows, I decide to stay in my towel because it's comfy. Every single pluck with the tweezers seems to send a shiver of pain.
The onto my nails which are sadly very beaten up. I focus on shaping them into perfect ovals because I have no idea what I’m wearing yet and I want them to match. My feet take me to my closet which has a surplus of options. Finally I decided on a little blue number with small roses just below the bottom of my breasts.
The event of the day have worn me out but I know my mind wont let me sleep, so I sit up late wondering how in the world a guy like Easton could ever like a girl like me.

The last thing I remember before drifting off to sleep is something my grandmother said to me long ago. I was sitting on her lap my braided pig tails sitting on my shoulders and I was telling her how nervous I was about the up coming talent show .
Her words were “ Do things with passion or not at all, Wherever you go, go with all of your heart”.