The Trouble with Girls and Hockey Players

By the time Lane got home, she was one mishap away from a nervous breakdown. She was terrified that she was going to mess up the casino night project, ecstatic that Mindy thought enough of her to trust her with such a huge responsibility, and flipping out about having to deal with these stupid, talented, gorgeous hockey players. She couldn’t help but replay her encounter with Derick Brassard over and over in her head, criticizing herself for every awkward moment and spending much more time than she should have daydreaming about the way Derick’s hair fell perfectly onto his forehead. Needless to say, she was a little stressed out and in desperate need to a solution to all of these problems. She obviously didn’t have one so she got the next best thing: Nutella.

Three hours later, Billie walked into the apartment after a long day at the publishing company where she worked to find Lane steadily eating her way through an industrial sized tub of Nutella and reciting the opening to her fourth consecutive Law and Order: SVU episode.

“Oh no,” said Billie, quickly recognizing the aftermath of an awkward hockey player encounter. "What happened this time? Please tell me you didn’t ostracize Carl Hagelin because it is my lifelong dream to touch his hair.”

Lane nearly smiled. “No, it was Derick Brassard.”

“Ouch,” Billie sighed in sympathy. “Rough. What was the sum total of the damages?”

“One dropped shampoo bottle, an awkward introduction, and my dignity,” Lane said.

“As long as his pants are still on, we’re making progress,” Billie said as she stole a pretzel from Lane and scooped out some Nutella. Lane recounted the story, thankful that Billie didn’t make fun of her. Although she was a little chagrined when Billie burst out laughing at the end of her story.

“Sorry,” she sighed, wiping tears from her eyes. “It’s just that he seemed as awkward as you! I think we should give an award to John Moore for being the only one who acted like a regularly functioning human being.”

“I didn’t think so,” Lane. “Maybe Derick was just thrown off by my incredibly loser-ish tendencies.”

“Whatever it was, I’m sorry I missed it,” Billie said. “It sounded like it would have been very entertaining.” Billie ducked to avoid the pillow Lane had thrown at her.

The next day, Lane walked down the street with a new confidence. She was Lane Knightly, marketer extraordinaire. She was going to a shoot for some new commercials and she would not make a fool of herself again. She had worn her favorite blue blazer, a skirt that made her butt look amazing, and a pair of flats to avoid the complications of heels after a nearly disastrous trip on the stairs yesterday. She just prayed that Michael Del Zotto, Carl Hagelin, and Mats Zuccarello, who had been talking nearby, hadn’t noticed how close she was to taking a header down a flight of stairs. Lane pushed this near death experience out of her mind and walked into MSG with her head held high and right into an unsuspecting Derick Brassard.

Lane managed to keep her balance this time, but only placing her hand on Derick’s upper arm. She almost didn’t notice that Derick has grabbed her waist this time to help her remain on her feet. Lane panicked for a second, namely the second when she looked into Derick’s deep brown eyes. But she pulled herself together.

“Sorry, Derick,” she said. “Wasn’t looking where I was going. You’re here for the commercial shoot, right?” She reluctantly let her hand fall away from his toned biceps as Derick’s hand followed a fraction of a second later. She moved her hand to her hair, nervously twirling it around her index finger.

“Ouais,” he said. “I mean, yeah. Shoot. For the commercial.”

“Great,” Lane said with a smile. “It’s on the ice, right? I should probably let you go get changed.” Derick nodded and walked in the general direction of the dressing room. He was watching Lane walk away, appreciating her skirt and what was in it, when he walked straight into a pillar.

“Nice one,” John said, who had just walked in the door. “Real smooth.” Derick rubbed his head, grateful that Lane hadn’t seen that one. “Let me guess,” John continued. “You were looking at her ass, weren’t you?”

“I…no…well a little…maybe…” Derick stammered. “Oui,” he finally admitted with a sigh.

John clapped him on the back, steering him around the pillar and towards the locker room. “So you like this one, yeah?” he asked. “You should ask her out, because she was definitely into you man. She even played with her hair a little bit when she was talking to you. That’s like girl speak for ‘I think you’re smoking hot!’ You should totally go for it.”

“I don’t think so,” Derick sighed. “I’ve said like three intelligent words around her. She thinks I’m…bête.”

“Brass, I really think this is your chance,” John tried to persuade him. “I saw her talking to Hags yesterday and she totally was not into him. She actually looked terrified…” he paused for a moment. “But the point is he was flirting and dropping hints like every five seconds and she didn’t react! He used the hair flip, Brass, and nothing! Not even a blush or a giggle!”

“Wow,” Derick was impressed. Usually a Carl Hagelin hair flip had girls practically dragging him back to their rooms. “But if Hags can’t impress her, what makes you think I can?”

“I don’t know, maybe you should use some French. Chicks digs that,” John said as they walked into the locker room. “You know, the language of love and all that.”

“I hope we aren’t talking about the new girl,” DZ interjected. “Because she is one tough nut to crack. Me, Hags, and Zucc all had a go and we got nothing. I mean, she tripped on the stairs and almost fell over the railing, but I don’t think that was because of us.”

“See,” Derick said. “I’ve got no chance!”

“You never know, Brass,” John insisted. “Just ask her out. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Embarrassment and grave injuries,” Derick said. He knew from the look on John’s face that he wouldn’t give up. “Fine, I’ll ask her,” he finally relented. He could just talk to her and say she turned him down. The guys would totally buy that. Although he did have a tough time forgetting what it felt like when Lane had her hand on his arm and was looking straight into his eyes.