I Swear This Time I Mean It.

For some reason it didn't feel weird to stay with Keagan in the hospital. One in my situation would probably feel differently; because I barely knew this guy and there I was cuddled up next to him waiting for the morning to come. But I sort of enjoyed it; as enjoyable as it could have been. Like, I cared about him enough to enjoy it.

Keagan was a mystery to me, but that's what I liked about him really. There were tons of things I didn't like about him, sure. But the more I thought about that, the more I realized that there were tons of things he didn't like about me either.

And yet, he put himself out there for me plenty of times. He brought me to parties even though it could have been social suicide for him. That took a while to sink in. Because that proves that he cared about me too, whether he'd ever admit to that or not.

"Jamie your hip bone is doing some serious damage to my rib cage." Keagan groaned as he started to wake up.

I wasn't even mad that he called me Jamie. I was just glad that he seemed to be feeling better and returning to his normal self.

"Sorry. We're both skinny, it happens." I said while I adjusted myself.

But after a few failed attempts of trying to get our bones to stop rubbing up against each other I just got up out of the hospital bed.

"I am not skinny. I'm toned. Fit. Ripped. All of the above. You are skinny. Therefore you are the problem, not me. So yea you better get your ass up out my bed. Before I smack you."

I gave him a look that said 'screw you' just so I didn't have to say it. Of course I knew he was kidding because he'd never talk like that, but still.

"You're lucky you're already in the hospital. Just saying."

He made a kissy face at me, that is until the doctor came in.

"So how are we feeling today?"

I wondered if I had what it took to be a doctor. I mean, I thought I had the brains; but doctors had to deal with so much besides just the medicine. People's lives were in their hands. Ok maybe that's a little dramatic but even so. I loved biology, but disliked most people. I wasn't a people person. And I had a lot of phobias and other issues. So maybe I'd just stick with biological research and things like that. Yeah that sounds pretty good.

"Much better. Can I please get out of here? No offense. But my butt is literally falling asleep because I've been laying down for too long. And my arm is stiff. And I actually miss my dorm room. God you better let me out of here because I would never ever say that unless I didn't mean it."

The doctor laughed and handed Keagan a clipboard.

"Hold your horses kid. I was just about to give you your discharge papers. Just read it over and sign the bottom as well as the next page. I say this with as much kindness as possible; I hope I never see you in here again. Take care of yourself."

Keagan bit his lip as he signed the documents.

"Will do. Thanks Dr. Gibbons."

It would be awesome to be a doctor though. Being able to help people and whatnot. It must feel pretty awesome.

I guess I could work on my social skills and other social problems I have. Not anytime soon though.

Keagan started to get dressed. I could tell he was really excited to leave. I don't think I ever saw him move so quickly in my life. It was kind of funny.

"So we're going to get coffee. Real coffee from like a cafe. Then we're going to ihop and eating pancakes until we feel sick. Then we're going for a walk. Then we're going to school. Ok?"

I hated pancakes actually. I hated most breakfast foods. They made me uncomfortable. I don't know, just the smell of syrup was enough to make my stomach churn. But I could suck it up and do it for Keagan. Just this once. After all, it was Sunday. A day to relax. Even though I had massive amounts of studying to do...

"Ok sounds good. Just make sure you brush your hair first. It's a little bedheady."

Keagan made a face and started to pat his hair down. I wish I videoed it.

"Shut up and call a cab. We got important shit to do."

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So we got coffee. From a nice little bistro down the street from our campus. It was nice. Keagan was well behaved for the most part. And then we did go to ihop for pancakes but the wait was over an hour so then mean Keagan came out and we left to go to a different place. All was good in the world once he got some food in his stomach. Thank god. I was about to pretend like I didn't know him like 12 times.

And here we are about to pay our very patient cab driver for the ride back to campus.

Keagan handed the man over 100 bucks and pushed my money away.

"Don't worry about it, it was my idea. So it makes sense that I pay. Duh."

Keagan put his hands in his pockets as we started to walk. I felt like I needed a good walk to stretch my legs.

"Well then next time I'll have a game plan and I'll be the one paying. Because you can't always pay for everything every time."

And then I noticed how much of a whiny boyfriend I sounded like. When... me and Keagan weren't together at all. I wanted to scoop up my words and push them back into my mouth. I knew at that moment that our day that had been mostly good would soon turn sour.

"Ohh so you think there will be a next time? You're cute Jamie. Why are your cheeks so red? It was a joke!" He said and took his hand out of his pocket to push me. "Jesus you are such a nerd sometimes."

I tried to laugh but it came out more like a cough. Well that was embarrassing. Nothing new though. My whole life was basically one huge embarrassing moment.

"Well you're usually a mean jerk so how was I supposed to know that?"

"You're the smart one, you should have been able to pick up on that. Maybe you need to brush up on your people skills Jamie." He paused. "See, did you catch the sarcasm on that one?"

I pushed him back.

"Seriously you make me want to hurt you sometimes. You are such a handful."

"That's what she said. And he said."

I stopped dead in my tracks.

That was so sexual I could barely handle it.

"Kegaan!"

"What! It's true."

I shook my head and continued to walk. He was crazy. Like a legit crazy person.

I wondered if Livvie and Russ would approve of him if they came to visit. I mean, it seems like most people can only take Keagan in small doses. Me, I have the privilege of living with him so that doesn't work for me. I'm forced to handle him in large doses of time. But I hope that my only friends would think he was acceptable.

Because the truth is that Keagan was starting to grow on me. I was starting to care too much. Like him too much. But I was accepting of that. Friends was all we were going to be. I didn't want to be his hook up buddy. He had those. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be special. If that was possible.

"So anyway. On a serious note; because I can be serious too you know. When are you going to start packing?"

I didn't really give packing much thought. My mom suggested that I leave some things at home so that it wouldn't be a hassle to drag everything I own back and forth.

Why are moms always right about everything?

"Very funny Keagan. Hm, maybe Wednesday. I think I'm leaving on Friday. What about you?"

He shrugged as we approached the entrance door to the dormitories. I wasn't surprised when he held the door for me; he was in rare form.

"I'm not really sure. Not really excited for anything except not having shit to do for school."

He seemed sad, but I didn't want to ruin the good day we were having.

I would think he'd be super excited to leave this place. But there's a chance I could be wrong.

"I just want to get things straightened out with Russ when I go back. And see Livvie and my family. That's all I'm looking forward to really."

Keagan stopped at our room. I wanted to return the favor so I held the door for him, but he stayed put.

"I'm actually gonna go up to Kyle's room. I'll catch you later Jamie. Thanks for um. Staying at the hospital and putting up with me all day."

And then there is the mystery part of Keagan.

I thought maybe he was bipolar for a couple of moments. But he's not. He's... troubled. I think, anyway. A psychologist I am not. But he was definitely a hard one to figure out. But in a strange way, I didn't mind. I was actually going to miss him over break.

Is that weird?