What Am I Doing With My Life

Jack sighed from where he sat on top of a large amp backstage, gazing at Alex. He couldn't help but stare at his perfect brown hair, his kissable lips, his jeans that were just a little too tight in all the right places.

They were supposed to go on soon, but the stage wasn't set up for them yet. He could already hear the girls screaming as they watched equipment being rolled out.

Alex was standing off to the side, fixing his hair in a mirror. Jack ached to go talk to him. He and Alex had been closer than ever throughout the entire tour, but he still wished that they could be closer. How many times had he tried and failed to flirt with him? Going out to lunch just the two of them, constantly complimenting his clothes, even sending dirty tweets. But Alex brushed them all off as jokes. Jack couldn't tell if his friend was just in denial that he had feelings for him, or actually didn't like him that way at all.

Determined to try one more time, Jack slid off of the amp and landed lightly on his feet. He approached Alex, nervously sorting through all of the awful pickup lines in his head. When Alex saw him in the mirror, he smiled, causing Jack's heart to beat even louder in his ears.

"Nice shirt," he said, raising his eyebrows in approval at the red letters spelling 'boner' across Jack's chest.

"I'm only wearing it because I'm looking at you," Jack blurted without thinking.
Not cool, Barakat. Not cool, he mentally scolded himself.

Alex only laughed, shaking his head at his friend. Jack deflated slightly; even though it was quite possibly Jack's worst attempt at flirting, he still hated the fact that Alex only ever saw him as joking. He inched closer to Alex, who had started to fuss with his hair again.

"Let me help," Jack offered, reaching out a hand.

"Uh, no thank you," Alex shook his head, grabbing Jack's wrist. "I know where that hand's been."

Alex's skin on his sent electricity shivering through Jack's body, and he pulled his arm away before Alex could see that he had goosebumps. He looked into Alex's eyes through his reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out if Alex's comment meant something more than just a friendly jab.

Jack waited a moment, contemplating his next move. He had to do something obvious, something that even thickheaded Alex wouldn't be able to miss.

"So, um I was wondering," Jack began nervously, eyes drawn to the skull tattoo on Alex's neck that always turned him on. "Did you maybe want to go out after the concert?"

Alex looked confused, and Jack immediately regretted saying anything.

"Go out where?" Alex asked, turning away from the mirror to face Jack now that he was finally satisfied with his hair.

"I dunno..." Jack trailed off, his cheeks flushing; he hadn't really thought the idea through. "We could just go to Taco Bell or something."

Alex's eyes lit up at that. "That sounds awesome! As long as you promise not to fuck a burrito."

Jack laughed, happy that Alex had agreed. "Nah, I'll only fuck you."

Alex chuckled, the meaning behind Jack's words going completely over his head. "I'll go ask Rian and Zack if they want to come."

As soon as he was sure that Alex had walked away, Jack's face fell. How many more hints could he possibly drop before Alex got the message?

He faked a smile back on his face when Alex returned. "Good news, they're in."

"Awesome," Jack said without much emotion.

"Guys, you're on!" someone called, and Jack bent to pick up his guitar.

He followed the rest of the band onto the stage, unable to help himself from grinning at the sight of all the cheering fans. However, as they started their set, Jack found himself looking more at Alex than the crowd. The way that he moved his legs, the sweat dripping down his forehead. Why couldn't all of that be his?

He couldn't take it anymore, this just being friends. It was driving him crazy. So when there was a break between songs, Jack ran over to Alex without thinking.

"Jack, wha-"

Alex was cut off as Jack pressed his lips against Alex's. The singer was too shocked to reciprocate, because this didn't feel like the other times they'd kissed on stage. While in the past they had just been light and sweet, this kiss felt real. Luckily, the fans didn't know that. They cheered even louder, and Jack broke away after a few seconds.

He ran back over to his microphone and started to play the opening chords to the next song, his whole mind buzzing. He'd actually done it, even though it had been mostly one-sided. It really didn't matter. Jack dared to look back over at Alex, who was getting ready to sing again. He couldn't exactly read his expression, but he thought he saw Alex smile at him.