Little Time Left

Alex did try to leave.

I woke to a cold bed and an empty room. Hurtling myself out of bed, I wheeled around, hoping he was still in his makeshift bed on the ground. Hoping he was peacefully asleep, snoring softly as he drooled on his pillow... But he wasn’t. I sprinted down the stairs and skidded around the corner to the foyer, slamming into a body. We both tumbled to the ground.

My first thought was, “Has someone broken in?”, but then I recognized the familiar mop of unruly brown hair.

“God, Alex! What are you doing?” I hissed, despite being elated that he hadn’t left. I pulled him tightly to my chest.

“Jack, Jack…” He struggled to pull away from my strong grip, panting. “I can’t breathe…”

Right, I had forgotten about his breathing difficulties. This virus (disease?) had attacked his body like a regular common cold, save for the skin problems. His nasal cavities were blocked by thick mucus, and he could hardly speak without being interrupted by an incessant, raspy cough.

I let go of the sick boy and he scrambled across the floor to get away from me. “Why are you awake?” he demanded. He sounded almost angry at me. “You’re supposed to wake up after I’m gone!”

I chewed on my lip. This definitely wasn’t the best morning. Alex stood up and brushed off his pants while supporting himself against the wall. I surged forwards and seized his hand.

“Alex, baby,” I tried. “Please don’t go… Stay and let me take care of you.”

“No,” he muttered, yanking his hand away immediately. “This sounds so cliché, but I’m o—“ His voice cut off as he coughed violently. I took the opportunity to get off my knees and scoop him up in my arms. He struggled as I carried him to the sofa and set him down gently.

“Please, Alex,” I begged, sitting with him and cradling him in my arms. He calmed down but was now cringing away from me.

“I’m only doing this because I love you…” His voice was frail and quiet. I felt my heart shatter for the thousandth time this week. Alex used to be so confident. This illness had practically reduced him to a nervous mess.

Except, what he was saying was contradicting. “If you loved me, how could you leave me? Do you even understand what that would do to me?”

Alex pulled away from me. “It would keep you alive!” he shouted, exasperated. “That’s what that would do! Jack, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I idiotically caught some god fucking damn disease and then gave it to you.” He was red in the face and breathing hard. I narrowed my eyes at him. All of our arguments took the same route.

“Alex, don’t leave!”
“But it’ll keep you safe!”
“Please, let me take care of you!”
“I’m doing it because I love you!”

“So do you have any other reasons why?” I asked, my voice suddenly quiet. I watched as his eyes widened slightly. He didn’t, I realized.

Alex let out an aggravated groan. I could tell he was getting tired of this too; constantly going around and around in circles like this.

“Why’re you being so pessimistic, Alex?” I spat. “I’m not going to die and neither are you, so chill the fuck out.”

I only wish I could say I was right.