Ignite

By the time everything rolled around for the Thanksgiving Weekend, Zack was miserable. Thanksgiving was meant to be about the joy in life, and appreciating what you have, but Zack couldn’t shake himself out of his tetchy grumpy mood. It wasn’t all to do with Martin, although that was a big part of it. He was also at a loss because of how detached Jack was. His beautiful PA hadn’t been the same since his own break-up, barely even reacting to Zack’s attempted warm smiles, and it was unbearable. He wanted everything back in balance. He wanted everything to be good again.

This year Zack was having Thanksgiving dinner with Rian. Both of their families were on vacation this year, so they decided to just order food in and eat together at Rian’s apartment. It was better than eating alone anyway.

Zack’s mood wasn’t improved by an unexpected text from Martin either:

To: Zack
From: Martin

Hey. I know this is kind of random, but I just wanted to say I’m thankful for you. I’m thankful that we were always honest with each other, and I’m thankful for our break-up, because it probably was the best thing for us. I truly hope you are, or will be, happy Zack, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Take care of yourself, yeah? Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Martin x

Yeah, that really hadn’t made him any more cheerful.

“My God, this day is not meant to be as depressing as this,” Rian groaned.

Zack just sighed, taking another swig of his beer. The two of them had finished eating for now, and were sitting on Rian’s sofa, the TV on quietly in the background with neither of them particularly watching it.

“We’re getting old, Ri, just face it,” Zack mused.

“Yeah, well, we should be happy, not sitting around like this,” Rian muttered.

“Care to elaborate?” Zack asked simply.

There was no point being anything but blunt with Rian when he got as grumbly as this.

“We could have our significant others with us if it wasn’t for Saporta and Wentz’s strict rules,” Rian muttered.

“What?” Zack said, confused.

How much had Rian drunk?

“I could have Alex and you could have Jack,” Rian retorted.

“I don’t…”

Rian cut him off with a look, which Zack responded to by blushing, only making Rian look smug. Dick.

“What do you mean, the rules?” Zack asked, clearing his throat.

“How inter-office romances are not allowed?” Rian pointed out, rolling his eyes.

Zack scowled slightly. He remembered the trouble Rian had gotten in before Alex had arrived, that one time that nearly cost Rian his job. But it was all complete bollocks.

“Bullshit, they’re fucking Pat and Bill,” Zack muttered.

Rian’s eyes narrowed. “Patrick Stump and William Beckett? From my team? Are you fucking serious?”

Rian didn’t know?

“Duh. Not even Alex had to tell me that,” Zack shrugged.

Rian’s face went dark at the mention of Alex.

“This is so unfair! They get to fuck around the office but I can’t be open with the one person I’ve been fucking for the past three years? Alex and I could be together properly if it wasn’t for them!” Rian scowled.

Ouch.

“Does Alex even know how you feel about him? Because I’m pretty sure I overheard him saying to Jack that he thought you didn’t feel the same intensity,” Zack said.

“Well shit, I thought he knew I’m in love with him,” Rian frowned.

Hah. So much for his best friend and his overly-romantic notions. Oblivious idiot.

“Apparently not,” Zack smirked.

“Don’t you get high and mighty with me, you haven’t even said a word to Jack,” Rian accused.

Zack scowled slightly, although he was sure his cheeks were still blushing.

“It’s not the same situation. I just broke up with Martin, after years of being together, and he just broke up with his boyfriend. I couldn’t,” Zack muttered.

“Sure you could! Sweep him off his feet! Show him what he’s missing!” Rian exasperated.

“Rian…” Zack warned.

“Alex has hinted some things. Hinted that Jack was never fully satisfied or happy with his boyfriend – what if it was you he had his mind on?” Rian said.

Fuck.

“Shit, Rian, don’t say things like that,” Zack growled.

“Why not?” Rian frowned.

“Because you know how much I want it to be true!” Zack spat back.

Rian’s confusion turned to pity, a sad smile on his face, only making Zack angrier. This wasn’t fair. And if it was true…then it really wasn’t fair.

“Jack seems okay from his break-up, right? So you wouldn’t be a rebound,” Rian said simply.

“Gee, thanks,” Zack muttered sarcastically.

“I’m serious – tell Jack how you feel or at least hit on him before someone else steals him away,” Rian said.

Zack glowered at the thought. No. He’d already had someone else try to be that significant other in Jack’s life…he couldn’t deal with that again.

“It will happen, Zack. Jack’s hot and single – he’ll be snapped up in an instant,” Rian shrugged.

“Stop it,” Zack said angrily.

“Or what? You’ll actually grow a pair and stop being such a fucking coward?” Rian shot back.

Zack gritted his teeth, trying to quell the desire to punch his best friend in the face.

“I’m not like you, Rian. I can’t just take what I want. And Jack isn’t Alex. He’s not just going to spread his legs if I flutter my eyelashes his way,”

“Hey, don’t talk about Alex like that,” Rian frowned.

Zack rolled his eyes. Whatever, he was telling the truth. All it took was one drunken advance from Rian and Alex was putty in his hands.

“Jack doesn’t even know how much he’s affecting me. He doesn’t know that his innocent eyes and sweet smiles get me so riled up that I spend at least half an hour trying to calm myself down. He doesn’t know that all the little things he does without asking make me want to hold him tight in my arms, like making my coffee just the way I like it, or waiting for me at the end of the day to dismiss him instead of just going, or his sleepy hellos in the morning. And he doesn’t know that the way he bites his bottom lip, the way his ass is perfectly round or even the way his adorable blush makes me want to fuck him over the desk and stake my claim on him for everyone to see. He doesn’t know that he does all of this without trying so how am I supposed to make him realise it?”

Rian whistled low, surprised, so Zack sighed.

“He’s so fucking innocent, Ri, and I don’t want to change that,” Zack finished, mumbling.

“You’ve got it bad, huh?” Rian said.

“Worse than I should do, yeah,” Zack said, laughing humourlessly.

Rian sat silently for a few seconds, letting Zack mope.

“You need to take a chance with him, Zack. Because it’ll kill you if he finds someone else. Even if you just flirt gently, test the waters, it’ll be a baby step which is better than nothing,” Rian suggested.

“Baby step,” Zack repeated softly.

That wasn’t actually such a bad idea. He could take a baby step, right? He could subtly flirt, right?

“Who knows, this time next year, we might even be able to have Jack and Alex by our sides,” Rian smirked.

Zack smirked, raising his beer. Rian laughed and clinked his own beer against Zack’s. Having Jack by his side – he’d drink to that.