It Was A Lie When They Smiled And Said You Won't Feel A Thing
Chapter 35: All Alone He Turns to Stone
****Danny’s House****
We knocked on Danny’s house. He opened the door and gave me a kiss, and shook Frank’s hand. We walked into the kitchen and had some coffee.
Danny didn’t know Frank and I were going out yet. And I figured, all the things that were on my mind now, well, that should come out with it.
“So how have things been going?” he asked.
Frank and I looked at each other and giggled.
“Well, I haven’t really told you this yet, but I guess now would be a good time.”
He smiled and said, “Ok, go on…”
“Frank and I are going out now, for about maybe 3 or 4 months now.”
His smile grew and so did ours.
“Aw! My sister!” Danny said in a high pitched voice.
I rolled my eyes with a smile that fallowed it.
“Ok…so what else is going on? You seemed kinda angry yet sad on the phone.”
“Yea about that….” My smile came right off my face.
“What’s wrong?”
Frank must of saw that I couldn’t say it and filled in for me, although it wasn’t easy for him either.
“Bob has really serious lung cancer.”
He just went wide eyed and said nothing.
I was able to speak a little.
“He has to get surgery in about a week.”
When I took a breath, you heard my chest shake.
“The doctor told Bob that the surgery is really dangerous and that the chances of him coming out of the surgery completely cured, and or……..alive, were at about 25%.”
I took a ‘shaking’ breath again.
“Oh you all must be really hurt. Don’t worry guys, its probably going to go just fine.”
Frank was getting tense, too tense.
He finally stood up and yelled, “DON’T WORRY! DON’T WORRY!?! HOW CAN I NOT WORRY! MY BEST FRIEND IS GOING THROUGH A HORRIBLE SURGERY, THAT HE COULD DIE IN!!! AND YOUR TELLING ME NOT TO…WORRY?!?!I’M NOT STANDING ALL MY HOPES ONTO THE WORD PROBABLY! THERES A 75% FUCKING CHANCE THAT HE’S GOING TO DIE AND YOUR TELLING ME HES PROBABLY GOING TO LIVE!?! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”
He stormed out of my brother’s apartment door and leaned over the small deck in the backyard he had.
I’ve never heard Frank yell at my brother like that. He never would yell at my brother like that.
I don’t understand, Frank would never ever do that to my brother, or rarely to anyone. “I’ll go talk to him…” I said as I started to walk out the door.
I stepped down onto the wooden deck and saw Frank sitting on the couch-swing. “What the fuck is your problem?” I didn’t mean to say that, but it was too late.
“Why did you yell at my brother like that? You and I both know that you guys are good friends.”
“I’m not putting all my hopes on a probably.”
“Oh bullshit. That probably, maybe all that we have, but we need to make something out of it, for Bob. We need to give him support, whether he’s around, or not.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I don’t know what made me do that. It’s just that I felt like there was no more hope.”
“Yes there is.”
“Yea, 25% of it.”
“That’s all we should need. Hell, I bet we can go with only 2%, because we are strong. The whole group is. And we’re gonna make that little 25% look like we have 100% of hope Frank. Cause, Bob needs all the hope he can get.”
“Your right. I’m sorry. DANNY! I’M SORRY!!!!” Danny came outside with three bowls of ice cream. He was laughing.
“Thanks. Oh yea, Dan, there is on more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Kate and I got into a big fight over nothing, and she refuses to talk about it. She wont pick up to anybody, not me or the guys, or not even Cathleen!”
“It’s ok. She’s probably got a lot going on in her mind. The cancer thing. And probably school stress. I would talk to her before the surgery, but not too soon. Give her time to cool down.”
“Alright thanks!”
“Now I got some news of my own.”
“Alright, were ready to listen!”
He did a nervous kind of laugh and then started by saying, “I found a new job…”
“Oh! That’s great!”
“…in New York.”
“Say what!?!”
“I’m going to have to move down to New York, in about two to three weeks.”
“Wh, wha, wha, what!”
I couldn’t cry anymore, Bob and Kate used up all my tears, so my eyes just, hurt.
All I could think was ‘No no no no no no! I can’t let this happen! First Bob’s cancer, then Kate’s fight, now Danny’s moving to New York! What’s next!’
I didn’t say anything for the rest of the day we were there. When it came time for us to go home, I kissed Dan goodbye, and we left.
When I got home there were a million messages on my phone. All that said either:
1) “Kristen, it’s the guys, and we wanted to let you know that we couldn’t reach Kate….sorry. Bye”
2) “Kristen, it’s Cathleen, I wanted to let you know that I couldn’t get Kate, and as soon as I do I’ll call you! Bye”
3) Or “ *insert mumbling here* fuck you *more mumbling*” which I suspected was Kate.
Now all I could think was, ‘Hmm, my brother’s moving to New York, one of my best friends is completely pissed at me, and my other best friend could die in a surgery, in a week. What more could go wrong?’
When we got into my room, I tripped over my mattress on the floor. I scraped my knee and while I was on the floor I screamed “FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MY LIFE IS GONE! And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye….”
We knocked on Danny’s house. He opened the door and gave me a kiss, and shook Frank’s hand. We walked into the kitchen and had some coffee.
Danny didn’t know Frank and I were going out yet. And I figured, all the things that were on my mind now, well, that should come out with it.
“So how have things been going?” he asked.
Frank and I looked at each other and giggled.
“Well, I haven’t really told you this yet, but I guess now would be a good time.”
He smiled and said, “Ok, go on…”
“Frank and I are going out now, for about maybe 3 or 4 months now.”
His smile grew and so did ours.
“Aw! My sister!” Danny said in a high pitched voice.
I rolled my eyes with a smile that fallowed it.
“Ok…so what else is going on? You seemed kinda angry yet sad on the phone.”
“Yea about that….” My smile came right off my face.
“What’s wrong?”
Frank must of saw that I couldn’t say it and filled in for me, although it wasn’t easy for him either.
“Bob has really serious lung cancer.”
He just went wide eyed and said nothing.
I was able to speak a little.
“He has to get surgery in about a week.”
When I took a breath, you heard my chest shake.
“The doctor told Bob that the surgery is really dangerous and that the chances of him coming out of the surgery completely cured, and or……..alive, were at about 25%.”
I took a ‘shaking’ breath again.
“Oh you all must be really hurt. Don’t worry guys, its probably going to go just fine.”
Frank was getting tense, too tense.
He finally stood up and yelled, “DON’T WORRY! DON’T WORRY!?! HOW CAN I NOT WORRY! MY BEST FRIEND IS GOING THROUGH A HORRIBLE SURGERY, THAT HE COULD DIE IN!!! AND YOUR TELLING ME NOT TO…WORRY?!?!I’M NOT STANDING ALL MY HOPES ONTO THE WORD PROBABLY! THERES A 75% FUCKING CHANCE THAT HE’S GOING TO DIE AND YOUR TELLING ME HES PROBABLY GOING TO LIVE!?! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”
He stormed out of my brother’s apartment door and leaned over the small deck in the backyard he had.
I’ve never heard Frank yell at my brother like that. He never would yell at my brother like that.
I don’t understand, Frank would never ever do that to my brother, or rarely to anyone. “I’ll go talk to him…” I said as I started to walk out the door.
I stepped down onto the wooden deck and saw Frank sitting on the couch-swing. “What the fuck is your problem?” I didn’t mean to say that, but it was too late.
“Why did you yell at my brother like that? You and I both know that you guys are good friends.”
“I’m not putting all my hopes on a probably.”
“Oh bullshit. That probably, maybe all that we have, but we need to make something out of it, for Bob. We need to give him support, whether he’s around, or not.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I don’t know what made me do that. It’s just that I felt like there was no more hope.”
“Yes there is.”
“Yea, 25% of it.”
“That’s all we should need. Hell, I bet we can go with only 2%, because we are strong. The whole group is. And we’re gonna make that little 25% look like we have 100% of hope Frank. Cause, Bob needs all the hope he can get.”
“Your right. I’m sorry. DANNY! I’M SORRY!!!!” Danny came outside with three bowls of ice cream. He was laughing.
“Thanks. Oh yea, Dan, there is on more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Kate and I got into a big fight over nothing, and she refuses to talk about it. She wont pick up to anybody, not me or the guys, or not even Cathleen!”
“It’s ok. She’s probably got a lot going on in her mind. The cancer thing. And probably school stress. I would talk to her before the surgery, but not too soon. Give her time to cool down.”
“Alright thanks!”
“Now I got some news of my own.”
“Alright, were ready to listen!”
He did a nervous kind of laugh and then started by saying, “I found a new job…”
“Oh! That’s great!”
“…in New York.”
“Say what!?!”
“I’m going to have to move down to New York, in about two to three weeks.”
“Wh, wha, wha, what!”
I couldn’t cry anymore, Bob and Kate used up all my tears, so my eyes just, hurt.
All I could think was ‘No no no no no no! I can’t let this happen! First Bob’s cancer, then Kate’s fight, now Danny’s moving to New York! What’s next!’
I didn’t say anything for the rest of the day we were there. When it came time for us to go home, I kissed Dan goodbye, and we left.
When I got home there were a million messages on my phone. All that said either:
1) “Kristen, it’s the guys, and we wanted to let you know that we couldn’t reach Kate….sorry. Bye”
2) “Kristen, it’s Cathleen, I wanted to let you know that I couldn’t get Kate, and as soon as I do I’ll call you! Bye”
3) Or “ *insert mumbling here* fuck you *more mumbling*” which I suspected was Kate.
Now all I could think was, ‘Hmm, my brother’s moving to New York, one of my best friends is completely pissed at me, and my other best friend could die in a surgery, in a week. What more could go wrong?’
When we got into my room, I tripped over my mattress on the floor. I scraped my knee and while I was on the floor I screamed “FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MY LIFE IS GONE! And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye….”