Die for You

I just lingered back and forth as I listened to Andy sing and do his rehearsals for his tour with Bullet For My Valentine, hearing him sing was great but I knew deep down inside that he was just leaving in a few days time and it hurt me knowing that. I ended up sitting, pulling my knees up to my chest and I wrapped my arms around my knees, my 'Light' tattooed hand being shown under the sleeve of Andy's hoodie that I'd taken to wear with my Sons of Anarchy tank top and black jeans. I had to give Andy a proud face and show him that I was excited for him to go, but inside, my heart was breaking. I hated when he had to leave. I really did. Tears flickered in my eyes but I blinked them away. I wasn't gonna cry right there and make a fool of myself. I had more dignity than that. This was killing me and Andy has told me that it also killed him when he wasn't with me. I wish I could go on tour with him, but I couldn't. I had to meet with Adam and start production on my first album. I sighed and moved my legs to the ground and I headed outside to get a breather. The cool LA air greeted me and ran through my black and red hair. There, while I was alone, I could let out my cries. I sobbed softly and leaned against the wall, burying my face in Andy's hoodie, inhaling his scent. I was really going to miss him. I was. I wiped my tears away from my eyes, that were red from crying the night before. I could still hear Andy singing through the walls, I knew that his voice would always comfort me, but this time, I didn't feel comforted at all. I felt broken. I then heard the door open and I saw Ashley and CC. I quickly made a face to hide my tears but they both looked like they knew. They knew about my pain about me being apart from Andy and how bad saying goodbye hurts for me. CC walked over to me and gave me a hug and I sobbed softly.

"It's okay, Lacey. We'll be back." Ashley said.

"I shouldn't put myself in front of what Andy loves," I sniffled. "I just hate this."

"We know," CC told me. "We hate it too, when we have to say goodbye to the ones we love and go away for a little while."

"This is hard," I said. "I didn't mean to make a fool of myself around you guys. Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Lacey." Ashley replied. "We understand. He knows it too. It's killing him too."

I sniffled and nodded my head. He did know how much this tore him up, to be apart from me. He knows about the heartache. I took a deep breath before Ashley gave me another hug and he pat my back. I headed back inside and saw that Andy had finished singing. Andy's eyes met mine and I quickly looked away from him. I just sat down and wiped away the fallen tears that escaped from my eyes. I couldn't fathom to look Andy in the eyes. Not right now at least. I heard him sigh softly and took a break. I then just sighed before I heard him approach me. I then saw that he had extended his hand to me. I took it. Andy then told Ashley, CC, Jake and Jinxx to head outside for a couple minutes, leaving me and him alone in the room.

"Faith," Andy whispered. I looked up into his eyes. I couldn't say anything to my Light. I knew that that alone scared me. It was probably because of the hole in my chest that I had from whenever Andy left had reopened. I looked away from him. I then felt his warm touch as he tilted my chin so that I could meet his icy blue eyes. "Faith. I know. I know that this is killing you. I can see it in your eyes."

"You know I hate saying goodbye, Light." I whispered, tears falling down my face. "Even if it's for a little while. You know that."

"I know, my love." He said, putting his hand on my face. He wiped my tears with his thumbs and he leaned to kiss my forehead. I sighed softly and I just hugged him tightly. His arms wrapped around me and he squeezed me tightly back.

"As much as I would love to have you stay, Light," I murmured. "I can't. I'm not gonna put myself in front of what you love."

Andy's hand stroked my hair and he softly began to hum 'Saviour' to me as I began to cry again. His fingers played with my hair and I felt a little comforted because of Andy's touch. I sobbed softly.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, Light." I sniffled. Andy touched my face, he cupped my face with his hands and wiped my tears away again.

"I'll miss you too, Faith." He said. "More than ever."

"I hate this so much," I muttered. Andy kissed my temple and held me close to him.

"I know, baby. I know." He murmured. "But, look at it this way, I won't be gone for long, Faith. I'll be back. I promise."

He was right. Andy was only gonna be gone for a little while, and not forever. I wanted him to go out there and sing and make the BVB Army Soldiers happy, I had no reason why I was feeling this way and why my heart was breaking. He made me happy and I wanted the Army to be happy just being able to see him sing.

"You'll always be my Faith." Andy said. "And nothing will ever change how much I love you."

That made me feel so much better, I began to calm down and I wrapped my arms around Andy's neck. I leaned my head against his. I had nothing to worry about. I really didn't.

"And you'll always be my Light," I murmured. "And nothing will ever change how much I love you too."

Andy then kissed me softly and I let out a little giggle as he kissed the bridge of my nose.

"See?" He said. "I love seeing you smile. Don't let that smile fade away. Please."

"You're the only who makes me smile, Light." I said. "You're the only one who can't take my smile away."

Andy chuckled softly and he kissed my lips softly again before I heard the door open and Ashley, CC, Jake and Jinxx came in. I heard a couple 'ugh''s and fake gagging and I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up," Andy said. "This might be the last time I get to kiss my wife, so deal with it."

Jinxx laughed and patted Andy on the shoulder.

"We know, we just like to fuck with you, Andy." Ashley said. I laughed and Andy flipped Ashley off. I leaned my head on Andy's shoulder and Andy kissed my forehead again. I then let go so that he could continue rehearsing. I listened with a smile on my face and I felt happy instead of sad and it felt really good. As if my mood made Andy happy too, he was smiling more as well. I then got an idea for a new tattoo. I pulled out my Iphone and I searched for a picture of a half moon. I wanted to surprise Andy and get another tattoo for him. I got 'Light' on my right hand, my Fozzy tattoo on my left arm and the blue rose with Andy's name on my right forearm. This half moon I wanted is going on my right side and there's gonna be a banner that says, 'Andy's love takes me to the moon and back'. The half moon represents his nickname, Light. I know that getting tattooed on the ribs is the most painful part, but I have a high pain tolerance. I can deal with it.

(Author's Note, my good friend, Former WWE Diva & Current First Lady of Ring of Honor, Maria Kanellis inspired this tattoo, she has a tattoo on her right arm that says, 'To the moon and back'.)

I began to text Kat what I wanted to get done on my side and I waited for her to reply. As I listened to Andy sing, I got a text back from Kat. I opened the message and it said:

That's amazing, babe! I would love to tattoo this on you! Are you gonna surprise Andy? ~KVD

Yeah. I wanna surprise him before he leaves to go on tour with Bullet For My Valentine. :) ~Faith

Why don't you come by the shop tomorrow? Bring Andy too. I'll do it then. ~KVD

Allright, Kitty Kat. See you then. ~Faith

I smiled brightly. I couldn't wait to get tattooed tomorrow and show Andy my new tattoo. I was so excited to get this done for him. I listened to the rehearsals and then sent out a couple tweets:

@Faith_Blackburn: At @OfficialBVB's rehearsals and they sound amazing. Can't wait for the BVB Army to hear them. :)

I sent that tweet out and then tweeted again.

@Faith_Blackburn: Going to be getting tattooed by @thekatvond tomorrow. It's a surprise for my Light @AndyBVB.

I got a retweet from Kat and I smiled as the rehearsals came to an end. Andy and I headed home and I just couldn't wait for the day to pass so that I could get tattooed by Kat tomorrow.

The next day, Andy and I headed over to Kat's shop, High Voltage, hand in hand. I wore my favorite Metal Mulisha shirt, black jeans and DC's. I wore an Electric beanie on my head. We headed inside the warm shop and Kat squealed as she, wearing a silver dress with black leggings and leopard print shoes as she hugged me.

"So, are you ready to do this, Lace?" Kat said.

The only thing that I told Andy today was that I was gonna get another tattoo, but I didn't tell him what it was yet. I nodded my head and she called me back to her station, she had to pull my shirt up to show my right side before putting on the stencil of the half moon with the banner that said, 'Andy's love guides me to the moon and back'.

I lay on the set up table, as Kat began to tattoo my side. I bit my lip at the burning pain, I had Andy sit on the opposite side of me, so that he wouldn't see the tattoo. Andy reached for my hand and I took it, cringing and squeezing his hand hard as Kat did my tattoo. Goddamn, that fucking hurt. So bad. I stayed in that position as Kat did every little detail and made the moon shine, and added a few stars around it as well.

"Allright, babe." Kat told me. "You're done. Go check it out in the mirror."

I slowly got up and went over to the mirror and gasped as I saw my finished tattoo, the half moon looked almost realistic, like it was actually on my side. The banner made me tear up. Kat made very letter in the banner perfect. 'Andy's love guides me to the moon and back'.

"So, what did she get?" Andy asked Kat.

"Go see, it's for you." Kat replied. I saw Andy approach me at the mirror as I was still gawking at my new tattoo.

"Surprise, Light." I said, finally showing him my new tattoo. Andy's jaw dropped and I smiled brightly.

"Faith," His voice came out in a whisper. "I-It's beautiful."

"That's what your love does, Light." I murmured. "Guide me to the moon and back."

I saw tears flicker in Andy's icy blue eyes before he leaned in and kissed me passionately. I heard an 'aw' from Kat and a squeal. We broke apart a few moments later.

"So, what do you think, Light?" I asked.

"Faith. It's beautiful. I love it." Andy murmured, kissing my forehead. "I love you so much."

"To the moon and back?" I giggled. Andy laughed softly and he pecked my lips again.

"To the fucking moon and back." He told me.