Die for You

Today was Andy's last day of being home with me before he heads out to go on tour with Bullet For My Valentine. That alone hit me like a ton of bricks. I headed over to the closet and dressed in an army green crop top with a military eagle on it, it showed off my new and healed tattoo on my side of the half moon and stars and banner that says 'Andy's love guides me to the moon and back', It also showed off my Fozzy tattoo and my blue rose on my right forearm with Andy's name. I took a deep breath before grabbing a pair of black leather leggings and my DC Nitro Circus shoes. I couldn't help but feel sad inside. I was going to be apart from the love of my life for a few months. Tears rimmed in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I was really gonna miss Andy. I really was. I took one of Andy's cigarettes and headed outside to smoke it. I took a hard hit of the cigarette but that couldn't prevent the falling tears that escaped my eyes. I sighed deeply and then I stomped the cigarette out with my shoe before sobbing again. I hate that today was the last day that I could be with him. To wrap my arms around him and to even kiss him before he leaves. I hated this. But I wasn't gonna put myself in front of what Andy loves and his passion. I could fathom to do that to him. I want him to go and sing and entertain the BVB Army. I wasn't gonna do that. That would be selfish. I couldn't stop the tears now, they kept falling and falling. I then heard Andy's footsteps and I felt his arms wrap around me. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I began to sob again, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Faith?" Andy murmured. I sniffled softly and then he turned me around so that my eyes met his. His eyes softened as he saw my face. He then cupped my face in his hands. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong, Light." I sobbed again. Andy's eyes softened and then he sat down with me in his lap.

"Hey. Sh. Faith. It's okay," He whispered. "Shh. Baby, it's gonna be okay."

"No, it's not." I sniffled. "You're leaving tomorrow and you know that saying goodbye hurts for me."

Andy's fingers wiped my tears away and he ran his fingers through my hair gently.

"I know, my love." He whispered, kissing my temple. "I won't be gone for long. I'll be back. You know that. They can't keep me away from my Faith for long."

I looked up into his eyes again and he smiled softly.

"I'm gonna miss you, Light." Another tear fell down my face and he kissed it away.

"I know, Faith." His embrace tightened and I had my face close to his bare chest, close to the dragon he had tattooed with my name inside the heart it was holding in it's claws. "I'm gonna miss you too, baby."

I took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears from falling, but I couldn't stop them. I saw that it hurt him to see me in so much pain. I couldn't help it. Whenever he left, it opened up a wound too deep to heal that it would only take him being with me to make it better.

"Sorry, Light." I said. "I didn't mean to put myself over what you love to do. I know you wouldn't do the same thing if I left for a skate tour or for my singing."

"Sh. Faith," He murmured. "Don't be sorry. Besides the band, you're the most important thing to me. And so is Blayde. You have nothing to worry about."

I was indeed the second most important thing to him and Blayde was third. But why does saying goodbye to one you love have to hurt so much? I thought. Tears filled my eyes again and I blinked them away. Andy's tattooed hand took mine. He leaned his head against mine.

"I love you," I whispered. "I love you, Light. Don't ever forget that."

Andy kissed me softly and he wiped away any fallen tears that escaped from my eyes while giving me a deep and passionate kiss. We broke away and he ran a hand onto my face and he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I love you too, my Faith." He said. "Always."

I gave him a small smile to reassure him that I was going to be fine but on the inside, this was tearing me apart.

"Hey," Andy whispered. "We still have today, beautiful. I wouldn't want anything more than to just be with the girl that I love and that's you."

I smiled even more and he lifted me up, making me let out a soft chuckle as we headed upstairs to our bedroom and he set me down on the bed. I had one more day to just be close to my Light and that's all I needed. Just to feel him next to me, his arms wrapping around me. We just lay together on our bed, watching V For Vendetta, my head was on his chest, he wrapped his arm around me. As the film was going on, Andy was softly humming 'The Mortician's Daughter' to me to comfort me and make me feel better. But I didn't feel better, I felt sad and gloomy and hurt.

"I know it's hard," Andy told me. "It's hurting me more than it is hurting you, Faith."

"I hate this, Light." I told him. Andy kissed my forehead.

"I know." He said. "But, I'll be back soon. I promise, baby."

I just sighed and leaned my head back on his chest. I stroked the scales of the dragon that he had on his chest and he shivered at my touch. I smiled a little and he kissed me again softly for a couple of moments. I was gonna miss this, being close to my Light, being safe and warm in his arms. I had to at least enjoy it before it goes away and I would miss the feeling for two to three months.

"I wish I could go with you." I murmured, looking up and kissing the dragon softly. Andy cupped my face with his hand.

"I wish you could come, but you have to go work with Adam, Faith. I'm not gonna get in the way of the production of your first album." He whispered. "I want you to be successful. I don't want to ruin that for you."

He was right. I had to work with Adam and I do want to make a success for myself. Andy leaned down and he kissed the tattoo on my right side and I giggled because his lip ring tickled my skin. He then smiled at my laughter and he stroked the half moon softly with his fingers. He kissed my tattoo again.

"Light! Stop. That tickles." I said, through bursts of giggles. He chuckled against my skin and he kissed my blue rose, my Fozzy tattoo and then the 'Light' tattoo on my right hand and then he softly teased me with his warm sweet breath before kissing me gently.

"I just had to make you smile one last time," He replied. "Because the pain fades away when I see you smile, my love."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, all of my sadness faded away. He just knew what to say to make me feel better. That's why I simply love my Light.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too, Faith."

I just snuggled up closer to him, I lay my head back on his chest, where his dragon tattoo was and I watched V For Vendetta with him. His arms tightened around me and he kissed my neck softly. I smiled a little and just ran my fingers through his new re dyed black hair.

"I'm gonna miss this," I told Andy. Andy kissed my temple softly.

"I know," He murmured. "I'm gonna miss being so close to you."

Another tear fell down my face and he kissed it away.

"No more tears, Faith. Please." He told me. "Please."

I took a deep breath and nodded my head, letting it out in a soft sigh. Andy and I just stayed close to each other and we watched V For Vendetta, The Crow and then The Dark Knight Trilogy (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises). And I felt better, enjoying the last day with the love of my life. Sure, I was gonna miss him, but I had an album to work on with Adam and a lot of writing to do with him and that would take my mind off of Andy being on tour and it would keep me busy. During the night, I made dinner for him, Blayde and I. After Blayde was put to bed, Andy and I had a little 'fun', if you catch my drift. I went back to sleep with Andy holding me in his embrace, he stroked the tattoo on my side and the rest of my skin. He kissed my collarbone and stroked my hair. He then kissed my forehead.

When I woke up the next morning, I heard Andy doing some last minute packing for tour. I sat up in bed and listened as he packed. He came out with his extra suitcases and I sighed. He wore his Fozzy shirt that Jericho gave him that he had cut up, which had the logo for Sin and Bones, his black jeans and combat boots and a leather jacket. I grabbed his Batman shirt and my Metal Mulisha shorts and slipped them on over my bare body.

"Morning, my love." Andy said.

"Morning, Light." I could feel my voice breaking and I looked away, blinking away tears. I heard a deep sigh from Andy as a tear fell down my face. Andy's eyes softened.

"Faith," He whispered, opening his arms out to me. "Come here."

I crawled over to him and he took me into his arms as I cried softly. He stroked my hair as I continued sobbing.

"Shh." Andy murmured. "Shh. Faith. it's okay. It's all gonna be okay, baby."

"It's just not fair!" I sniffled. "I don't want you to leave, Light!"

"I know, love." He said. "I know, I don't wanna leave you too. But I told you, my band comes first. You're the second most important thing to me."

"I know, Light." I cried. Andy wiped my tears away and he kissed my temple. I hugged him tightly and his arms wrapped around me, holding me tighter to him.

"I'll be home soon," Andy replied. "I promise."

I stood up as Andy grabbed his stuff when he let me go and we walked to the door together as I saw the bus pull up. Another tear fell down my face. Andy then cupped my face and he kissed me deeply and passionately. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back with tears falling down my cheeks. We broke apart, he kissed the bridge of my nose and wiped my tears away before just pecking me on the lips and squeezing me tight to him. I then heard the horn honk and that made me jump. Andy chuckled before kissing me again.

"I love you, Faith." He whispered. "I'll call you when we get to the venue."

"Allright." I replied, opening the door for him. "I love you too, Light."

"Bye, Faith." He told me.

"Bye, Light." I said as I saw him head for the bus and tears fell down my face, he headed inside and he blew me a kiss before the doors closed and the bus took off. That right there tore my heart into two pieces. I closed the door and began to cry, I slid against the door, sobbing hysterically. The cats, Crow and Phantom, came over and tried to calm me down with their purring. Nothing helped. So I decided to just turn on my Ipod and plug it to the dock. The first song that played was 'Come Back, Be Here' by Taylor Swift. I sat down on the couch and watched Tim Burton films.

You said it in a simple way,
4 AM, the second day,
How strange that I don't know you at all.
Stumbled through the long goodbye,
One last kiss, then catch your flight,
Right when I was just about to fall

I told myself don't get attached,
But in my mind I play it back,
Spinning faster than the plane that took you...

And this is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in New York today,
I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.

The delicate beginning rush,
The feeling you can know so much,
Without knowing anything at all.
And now that I can put this down,
If I had known what I'd known now,
I never would have played so nonchalant.

Taxi cabs and busy streets,
That never bring you back to me,
I can't help but wish you took me with you...

And this is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in London today,
I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.

This is falling in love in the cruelest way,
This is falling for you and you are worlds away.

New York... be here.
But you're in London and I break down,
'Cause it's not fair that you're not around.

This is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in New York today,
And I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.

I don't wanna miss you like this.
Come back... be here.
Come back... be here.

This was going to be a hard 3 months without my Light. I curled up on the couch, crying my eyes out. It was like someone had pierced a huge hole into my chest and it hurt when I breathe. But I had to find something to keep my pain at bay. I had to. Luckily I'm meeting with Adam tomorrow.