It All Starts with Tragedy

Tour is over for a few months. CC, Ashley,and I are in my home town in Ohio, we've decided to visit our families over this break, starting with mine. Ashley and CC wanted to look around Ohio, so while they do that i have decided to go see my parents. Which is where i am heading now, i pull into their driveway and just as i get out of my car my mother's right there with her arms around my neck.
"Andy! Oh my god, you've finally come to visit!" My mother, Amy squeals.
I wrap my arms around onto he back to return the hug.
"Yes mom, we've been so busy. Tour just ended so we thought we should come see family." I say
"We?" My mom asks looking into the car.
"Yeah, Ashly and CC are here too, but they wanted to see the town before coming here. That's alright?"
"God Amy! Let the boy breathe. Haha hey Andy." My dad, Chris says while walking outside over to us.
"Well, let's go inside, it's cold out here. We're sapposed to get a heavy snow storm soon." Mom says.
My dad and i nod and i grab my stuff and we head inside.
"Uh, you three can stay in your room, it's the only open one we got. That's no problem is it?" My dad says.
I laugh, "Dad, we live in a bus together for eight months out of the year. It's no problem."
I take my stuff up to my old room, and after i get the other guys' stuff up here, cause i'm that nice of a guy, haha, i head downstairs to the livingroom with my parents.
"So, how have things been around here?" I ask them
"Nothing very interesting here Andy, nothing really changes in this little town of ours, you should know that." My dad laughs.
"How about with you guys Andy?" My mom asks
"Uh, nothing out of the ordiniary, we're thinking about a new album soon, maybe. We won that Golden God Award for song or the year. Nothing much...."
"New album? Golden God....this would be your third one in a row right?" My dad asks
"Yeah, it's never been done before, so we set a record, making history." I laugh
My dad nods and leaves to the upstairs restroom i think and my mom skoots a little closer to me.
"So, have you done anything about, your...issue?" She whispers.
Oh my God, i forgot she knew. Oh yeah, i kinda have this huge thing for Ashley, yeah my bassist. I have for years now, not like he knows.
"No i haven't mom. How could i? He's....well, him." I state emphisizing him.
She shakes her head, and says,
"You gotta stand up Andrew. Tell him, it's been years. You can't hold it in forever, it's gonna drive you mad."
"Maybe i wanna be mad." I say sarcastically.
She shakes her head again. And my dad comes back down. But she is some what right, only thing she has wrong is, it's already driven me mad, my mind and heart's a mess over this. Just as my dad goes to say something my phone rings, i mouth sorry and walk into the kitchen to answer my phone seeing it's Ashley.
"Hello?"
"Andy, hospital now, it's CC!"
That's all he says then hangs up. Fuck. They're from warmer places, they don't deal with snow, i knew i should have gone with them! I run into the livingroom.
"I have to go, im sorry. That was Ash, they're on their way or at the hospital, there's something wrong with Christian!" I say then ran out to my car.
I jump into my car and drive as fast as i can to the hospital without getting a ticket. Just as i get to the hospital doors the ambulance pulls in and i see Ashley jump out and them roll CC, he doesn't look that bad. Very pale, and a few scrapes that's all. I wounder what's going on. I look at Ashley as he sees me and runs to me, he looks terrorfied. He runs over and hugs me extremely tight digging his head into my chest.
"We weren't even going that fast! He came out of no where! I should have just let him drive! Oh Andy!!!" He cries.
I've never seen him like this before. I wrap my arms around him to hopefully confurt him.
"It's okay Ash, everything will be okay, C will be fine." I whisper.
He just nodds his head weakly and backs away from me. I wish i could have just kept him there....in my arms..with me.
"I'm sorry, i got make up on your shirt. And..yeah." He mumbles
"It's nothing Ashley. Come on, it's cold out here. Let's go see what's going on with our buddy."
We both walk into the hospital and a doctor comes out and says,
"Family and Friends of Chistian Mora?"
Ashley and I stand up and walk over to the doctor. The doctor nods his head.
"He will be okay, he is in a coma though, he can be up anytime, from tomorrow to next month. You two can go to him if you want." The doctor says.
We nod and head back to his room.
"See Ash, he'll be okay." I tell Ashley while giving him a sideways hug.
"I guess."
I could tell he was still sad about it, but i understand so am i.
"I should get ahold of Jake and Jinxx so they know what's going on."
"I'll call Jinxx you get Jake." States Ashley
I nod my head and we both call.
"Hello?" Jake says
"Hey it's Andy."
"What's up?"
"Okay, We're in Ohio but something happened and Chuppy is in the hospital. The doctor said he'll be okay but is in a coma and they don't know when he'll wake up."
"Oh my god." I hear Ella in the backround.
He's in the UK visiting her.
"Check and see if we can get a flight to Ohio babe." I hear Jake ask Ella.
There's a moment of silence.
"Bro, we can't get there for like a week, until the storm eases up over there. Fuck!" Jake says
I could tell he was getting mad.
"I guess that's okay, just get here as soon as you can. Ashley and I are here incase anything happens, and we wont be leaving so we'll keep you updated."
"Okay, I'll try my best thanks Andy." Jake says and then hangs up.
I walk back into the room to see Ashley sitting in the group of two chairs stairing at the ground. I sit down beside him and put my hand on his back and start rubbing his back.
"Did you get ahold of Jinxx?" I ask softly
"Yeah, but he can't make it for around another week, cause of the issues with the break up."
"Well, then it's just us. Jake can't make it either because of the weather."
"Okay. Andy?"
"Yeah Ash?"
"I really don't like hospitals, they put me on edge." He whispers embaraced
"Aw, it's okay Ash, i wont leave you here alone."
He looks up at me and smiles, "Thanks Andy. You always know what to say to make me feel better."
"That's what I'm here for Ash." I laugh slightly
I look over at him, only not even a foot from me. His long silky hair, i want to run my fingers though it,let it wrap around my fingers and watch it fall. Those perfect cheek bones and jaw, i want to softly lay soft kisses across them, those amazingly deep brown eyes, just looking into them i loose myself. He voice, with that slight accent, i could hear him talk for years straight without hearing anything else and I'd never get tired of his voice. Why can't he be mine? Am i not good enough for him? No it's that he's straight. He is right? He has never said, ugh Andy quit he obviously is, come on. Am i not skinny enough, attractive enough? Is my voice not smooth enough? What is so wrong with me, that he can't be mine? I am ripped from my thoughts by Ashley waving his hand in front of my face.
"Andy hello? You in there?" He says
I nod my head, "Y..yeahh."
"You okay bro?" He looks at me kind of worried.
"Y..yeah. I 'm fine, no need to worry. I'll, uh..be right back." I stumble over my words.
I get out and go to the restroom only feet away almost tripping over my own two feet. After i close the door i lock it and look in the mirror. I stare at my reflection, no wonder he doesn't like me. Who am i kidding. I am anything but attractive, the BVB army is crazy for calling me anything close to attractive. My eyes are too blue, they could probably give someone a heart attack. My face is a bit boney, it looks odd. I look down and all i see is fat. I am not attractive, i am anything but. No wonder no one wants me, certainly not Ashley. Oh how bad i want him to be mine. My hip starts to itch, i gotta do it. I gotta. I get my phone out of my pocket and take off the back as a razor blade falls out onto the sink. I stopped when BVB started but the past year has been to much for me and i've picked back up my bad habbit. I pick up the blade, holding it between my fingers, just looking at it. Ashley is right there, outside the door, only a few feet away. He'd be so disapointed, that's why he'll never find out. I grip the blade a bit tighter and carve it across my left hip, joining the others i have there already. I run it across six more times, five for different things wrong with me, and one for dreaming about my own bassist i'll never have, and one last one for my parents, they'd be so disappointed. I clean up the blood running for my fresh cuts, clean the blade and put it back in my phone with the batery. Just then i hear a nock on the door,
"Andy? Are you alright? You've been in there for awhile now.?" Ashley asks
Fuck, he can't know.
"Y..yeah i am fine! Don't worry, there is no need!" I panick
I walk out of the bathroom to see Ashley standing there with an eyebrow raised. We have a slight stairing war and i put my arms up in surender.
"I'm fine Ash, i told you that."
"I don't believe you, but i'm letting it go for the time being but this isn't over."
I nod my head and mumble "whatever" as we both go and sit down.
~TIme Laps~ *Next Morning*
I wake up and feel a weight on my lap. I look down and see Ashley's head in my lap, i forgot we fell asleep like this cause he couldn't sleep sitting up so i jokingly said he could lay in my lap and being him he did so and i guess he fell asleep like that. My want to run my finger over his features on his face, but i can't he's my straight best friend, and i couldn't even sneak and do so while he's alseep because my hands are always cold and the cold touch would awaken him and get me caught. Just then his hand goes up to go by his face and hits my cuts, i jump at the touch and it wakes him. He sits up and about falls out of the chair. I must of scared him. Great going Biersack!
"Uh, oh Andy. Good morning?"
"Good morning Ash."
Just as he's about to reply his eyes widen and he inches closer to me and points.
"A..Andy. You're bleeding."
I look down and see that he's right, when his hand hit me his nails must of opened the wounds.
"Fuck!" I mumble and run into the restroom.
"Andy?" Ashley asks knocking on the door
"Are you okay? Why are you bleeding?" He adds
"Uuuhh, it's nothing Ash. Just uh just uh ugh nothing!"
"Can i come in?"
I didn't fully hear him being to busy trying to stop the bleeding. It's bleeding kinda hard. So i didn't reply.
"I'm taking that as a yes."
Before i could even reply he opens the door, closes it and searches me for injury though the mirrors reflection. I quickly cover it.
"It was nothing Ashley. I uh, i'm going to go get something to eat and then uh, find the doctor." I stumble and run out of the room, leaving a very confused Ashley.
Fuck, that was way way to close. I walk to the restroom in the hall, just as i get in a stall my phone goes off. I look to see it's my parents. I answer the phone.
"Andy!" My father says.
"That's my name." I mumble.
I'm still kind of in a daze from what just happened with Ashley.
"Hey, you alright? How's Christian?"
"C is in a coma, they don't know when he'll wake up but he's okay and stable. I'm uh fine, yeah fine."
"Oh son, I'm glad C.C. will be okay. "
"Yeah, i am sorry we wont be able to hang out as much as i had planned."
"Aw, it's okay Andy, your friend's in the hospital, you need to be there."
"Thanks Dad, well i gotta go. Bye Dad."
"Goodbye Andy."
And with that i hung up. I need to go back to the room but i really don't want to face Ash, he was so close to figuring out one of my biggest secreets, apart from my feelings for him. I walk around looking for CC's doctor, i want to know what's going on with my buddy, and have to get my mind off of what just happened. Just then i run into the doctor.
"Ah, just who i was looking for." He says
"Uh, hello?"
"Your friend, Christian? He should awaken the tomorrow night."
"Really that's great!" I say and walk off to tell Ashley, while texting the guys telling them the news.
I walk into the room to see Ashley sitting in his chair playing on his phone.
"Ashley!"
"Hu?"
"I just saw the doctor, he said Chuppy should be awake by tomorrow night!"
"Yay!" Ashley pretty much yells and jumps out of his chair and does a little happy dance.
~Time laps~ *Three in the morning*
"Ashley, you awake?"
"Yeah."
"Do you mind if i ask you what happened?"
"We were on our way to your parents house. I'm from Missori, and have lived in California for so long now, i've never delt with extreme weather really. CC knew that, he kept saying that he should drive, but i am so stuburn. I didn't listen, i told him i could do it. I swear, we were on the right side of the road, i know for a fact we were, but the giant truck wasn't. It almost hit us Andy, it was so close. I was able to move out of it's way last second, but then hit some, uh, black ice. The car went spinning, i couldn't control. The whole ride he was telling me to put on my seatbelt, i obviously laughed at him. But he put his on and while we were spinning, he undid his, leaned over me to do mine, when he went to redo his we hit something and he went flying out the car." Ashley explains now in tears.
I go and kneel infront of him and put my hands on his knees.
"Ssshhh, it's okay Ash." I whisper, i hate seeing him like this.
He leans down and rests his head on my shoulder.
"It's all my fault, i should have listened to him. Should have let him drive, or hell put on my damn seat belt." He whispers.
I lightly grap his chin so that he's looking at me and say,
"Ashley Purdy, you listen to me, this is not your fault, it's that dumb ass driver who was on the wrong side of the road. You hear me!"
He nodds his head yes. I push a stray peice of his hair behind his ear and nod.
"Good."
I hug him as tighly as i can.
"Andy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can i talk to you about something?"
"Of course Ashley, anything."
I get up and get in my chair but bring it closer to him and put my hand on his back.
"I uh, think i am falling in love. I can't keep it in anymore, of course after this." Ashley mumbles
"Who is it Ashley?"
I am broken, i just want to go crawl into a ball an dcry until my lungs stop working. But Ashley needs me so i can't, later i will.
"It's a guy......in the band."