Through the Dark

A swarm of butterflies erupted in my stomach as I nervously bounced my knee up and down. Sofia was beside me, a small smile on her face.

Today was my press conference. After the word got out that Ariana Messi was a new player at Club Femenì Barcelona, everyone went crazy. More people started following me on twitter, people bombarded me with questions, even some paparazzi started following me around.

But the one that surprised me the most was when my childhood bullies started talking to me again. That just showed how everyone wanted a taste of fame.

The captain was required to be with me, and I was glad that Sofia had become a close friend of mine. I still hadn’t told anyone else about Gerard and I except Anto, Leo and Cesc who of course told Daniella.

It was slowly starting to worry me and I knew that I had to tell the rest sooner or later but I just wasn’t ready. What if Gerard and I just snapped and I would just be known as the girl who takes a chance on anyone.

My nerves were starting to kill me and I found myself tapping my foot even faster. I was wearing a baby blue skater dress that was simple yet formal, a cropped white blazer from Chloé and simple black heels.

“Ms. Messi, Ms. Cortez? You guys are up.”

I took a deep breath and I felt Sofia squeeze my shoulder reassuringly. Sofia walked out first and I followed behind her. The cameras took even more pictures of me, making my knees weak.

I quickly sat down before I toppled over in my heels.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming to this press conference regarding the signing of Ms. Ariana Messi to Club Femenì Barcelona,” Xavier smiled warmly at the crowd and at Sofia and I, “Let us begin, shall we?”

After Xavier sat down, the questions started coming. Xavier picked one out and the question was directed to me.

“Ms. Messi, is it true that you are Lionel Messi’s little sister?” the woman asked, the man behind her raising a camera pointed at my face. “Yes, it is true. I’m his twin sister, actually.” I smiled.

Xavier picked another one, this time it was for Sofia.

“Ms. Messi, how were you scouted and by whom?”

“I was scouted by the one and only Pep Guardiola. I was playing football at Camp Nou with Leo and a few of his teammates when Pep saw me. He recommended me to Jose Martino and Xavier Llorens and a try out was scheduled for me.” I answered briefly with a small smile at the end.

“Alright, last one for today.” Xavier said politely at the crowd before picking out another man.

“Senora Messi, are you nervous about playing for Club Femenì Barca? Do you feel like there’s some pressure considering you are Lionel Messi’s sister?”

I made eye contact with Leo who was sitting amongst the crowd unnoticed. I bit my lip and leaned forward so my voice could be heard better.

“Si, I do feel a little bit pressured. But Club Femenì Barca is a very excellent team that has excellent teamwork and the players are very talented and skilled at playing football. And I know that while at Femenì, I will do my best and I will continue to learn more and more each day to prolong the legacy of excellency here at FC Barcelona.”

My eyes widened when I realized that my answer really satisfied the press. They started clapping and more pictures were taken. I was directed to the front of the stage as Sandro Rosell stepped out from his spot beside Xavier.

The crew handed Sandro the jersey that I would be sporting in every game we played at our home stadium. I grinned in happiness as Sandro handed me one side of the jersey and he held the other side.

I glanced at the back of the jersey that was facing the crowd. It said ‘MESSI’ in big block letters and the number ‘12’ on it. I turned towards the cameras and grinned widely, showing my enthusiasm for the club.

After everyone had taken their pictures, we went backstage and Sandro patted my back with a small smile before walking away. “Nicely done, Ariana.” Xavier complimented. I thanked him before walking towards my dressing room so I could change into more comfortable clothes.

I pulled on my shirt and started to gather my things when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” I called. I smiled when I saw Gerard peak his head through the crack of the door. “You did amazing, nena.”

He came up behind me and kissed my neck, his lips lingering there. “Thank you.” I whispered, turning around to fully give him a kiss on the lips.

“I’m so proud of you, nena,” he whispered against my lips. I opened my eyes and peered into his crystal clear blue ones with a smile, “Thank you, Geri.” I whispered back, bringing him into a small hug.

The door creaked and we both pulled away. I smiled seeing Leo there, “Sorry to disturb you guys, but we’ve gotta go now. They’re going to prepare for the next press conference.”

I nodded and grabbed my bag, slinging it over my arm. Gerard’s hand slipped into mine and I smiled up at him. It was just the little things he did that made my heart race.

As we walked out, we passed Neymar who was on his way inside. “Neymar?” I asked, quickly letting go of Gerard’s hand. “Oh, hey there Ariana. I saw your press conference, it was amazing.” He smiled.

I thanked him and he nodded, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. “Looking for Sofia?” I asked. He nodded again and I told him to go straight to her dressing room since another press conference was going to take place soon.

He thanked me and I turned back to Gerard who was pouting at me, extending his hand to my own. I giggled and laced my fingers through his as he led us toward his car.

I slid into the front seat and he got into the drivers seat. He turned on the radio and started up the car, driving away from the stadium. “So, where are we headed?” I asked, pulling the seatbelt over my chest.

“There’s this adorable little place I think we should go to.” Gerard smiled, lacing his fingers through mine. I nodded and decided to just trust him. As he drove, I caressed my thumb over his lightly and I heard him hum in contentment.

“Nena?” he whispered. “Yes?” I asked, turning to look at him. He glanced at me once before turning to look back at the road, “Why did you choose me?” he whispered.

His voice sounded like he was in pain and the question had caught me off guard, but I already knew the answer to that.

“Because you’re you, Gerard. You give me that feeling that no one else can. You make me feel like I’m always safe whenever I’m with you. I’ve been with you for a month and I’ve felt more happy than I was in two years with Lucas. You’re amazing, Gerard.”

I felt his fingers tighten around mine and he let go off my hand briefly before swerving to an empty road and stopping on the side. He turned towards me with a small smile, his blue eyes sparkling.

“I love you, nena.”

My heart pounded against my chest and I wasn’t sure whether I should say it back or wait for the right moment. But I knew in my heart that I felt the same way about him.

But why were the words so hard to say?

“You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. Te amo, nena.” He whispered with a small smile. I knew that the fact that I couldn’t say it back was slowly killing him on the inside.

I knew how I felt, but why couldn’t I say the words?