Room With No Windows

I woke up the next morning in the bed of my truck with a blanket draped over me that I don't recognize. It's not until I feel my bag flung at me that I grunt and sit up.
"You have two minutes to explain and give me a reason to not kick your ass before I have to leave for work," Nicky demands hastily. She wore a serious expression, but she was clearly irritated in the ruckus peter's slip up had caused last night.
My voice is still rough from sleep - if you could even call it that - when I speak. "Those pictures are from long ago. They weren't meant to be in there." I run a hand through my hair in frustration."She wasn't meant to see them."
"I already figured that," she growls through clenched teeth. "Why were they in your bag? Why the hell would you put them in there?"
"I didn't," I say defensively. "I was clearing out all of my old stuff and had some of it on the bed. My friend Peter was helping me pack and he accidentally put it in there when I wasn't looking. He didn't know what it was."
She scoffs. "So it's your friend's fault?! That's it?!"
I jump at her harsh tone and wince. "He couldn't have known. It was my mistake, in the end." I gather the blanket up in a ball in my fist. "I should have burnt those as soon as I got the chance."
Nicky's shoulders relax, her eyes softening. "Well. Consider yourself lucky that you thought to write the dates on 'em. Els assumed the worse when she saw those."
My head snaps up, feeling a heaviness on my heart. "She what?"
"She thought of every possible scenario she could think of. What can you expect, John? She's a girl. It took a lot of talking to her to get her to be reasonable."
I bite my lip, light-headed and weary. She actually suspected those things to be recent. Of course she had every right to think what she wanted to think, but to think that she doubted me...that hurt. It stung, knowing that I still haven't fully convinced her that she's all I want. Was she still irked by the fact that Joey and I had been sexually intimate, and we had yet to be? Did it really bother Elsa that much that she would let jealousy and doubt get the best of her?
"Is she still mad at me?" I ask Nicky.
"I would say she's more upset than mad," she sighs. "But nothing that you guys can't resolve. I don't know the whole story, nor do I want to, but I can tell that you love my sister. And you wouldn't let something like some old fling get in between the two of you."
I smile. "I appreciate that."
She nods, pulling off from the side of the truck. "Well, I have to go. Elsa's upstairs in her room. And don't worry about my parents and my brother, I already explained the situation."
My eyes widen. "You told them I had half naked pictures of another girl in my bag?!"
Nicky glares at me. "Obviously not, dipshit." Her bluntness surprises me, but it was also amusing. "I didn't go into details or get too specific, or else you wouldn't be alive right now. My dad or Tristan would have murdered you in your sleep."
"Good to know." I laugh. "By the way, is this your blanket?"
"Nope." She grins. "I told Elsa you were sleeping outside the house in your truck last night and she got all worried, even though she pretended not to be. I caught her sneaking down here."
I feel the inevitable smile on my face. Despite everything, she still cared. Was that her trying to reach out?
After her sister drives off, I make my way into the house, where her mother is in the kitchen making breakfast.
"Oh!" she exclaims when she notices me, gleaming brightly. "Good morning, dear. How did you sleep?"
I chuckle and rub the back of my neck. "I didn't do much of it, for starters."
She frowns. "You didn't have to go and torture yourself. You were more than welcome to stay on the couch."
"It's alright, Mrs.-" I pause and laugh awkwardly. "You know it's funny, I've been living with Elsa for so long and I don't think she ever told me her last name."
"That girl's not one for details," she says smiling. "It's Thompson. But you can call me Laurie."
I nod. "Well, Laurie. I should go apologize to your daughter."
Her head tilts to the side. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you that made her so angry? I've never her seen her so furious."
I sigh heavily and move to sit on the island table. "My past just won't stop haunting me, I guess. It keeps popping up, and it's hurting her."
She clicks her tongue, tutting. "I don't see how that's fair. And you're punishing yourself for something you can't change?"
"I'm punishing myself because it could've gone a lot differently," I mutter, shrugging. "I could've saved myself all of this trouble."
I feel slightly comforted by her mother's hand resting over mine. "We all make mistakes, John. You shouldn't blame yourself so much."
"Thank you." I bite my lip. "So what should I tell her?"
"Whatever you feel you need to tell her," she says simply, as if it were obvious.
I stare at my hands. "You don't think I should give her some time?"
"And give her a chance to miss you and regret coming home?" Her mother tuts. "Not a chance."
There was an inner struggle waging inside me. A part of me wanted to go away for a couple of days, but make it clear that I'd be back, giving us both space. I'd also be punishing myself for hurting her again.
But her mom made a good point; why punish myself for something that wasn't under my control?
I sigh, trying to get my thoughts together before walking upstairs and knocking on her door. There was no response, so I slowly push it open and enter quietly.
Approaching the side of her bed, I notice she's still asleep. She looked so peaceful.
I brush my knuckles along her cheek. At least for a few hours, nothing could disturb her.
Elsa murmurs something in her sleep before stirring. I kneel beside her and kiss her forehead.
"John," she says under her breath. Her eyelids lift then, taking me in wearily.
I stroke her hair gently. "Hey, baby."
She closes her eyes, and when they open again they give me a hard look. I wince. "I know what you're thinking."
"You wish," she mumbles.
I sigh, beginning to explain. "Peter was helping me pack while I talked on the phone with you. I'd taken all of my old stuff - Joey's stuff. It was all in a box, ready to be thrown out. And I had some things out on the bed, so it got mixed in with the rest. I didn't intentionally bring those photos here. I would never do that, Elsa."
"However they got in your bag, I don't care," she sighs. "You still took them."
"I know. But I can't change that. If I could go back to take it all back, I would. But what's done is done."
"I get that. And I can come to terms with it. But..." She sits up, moving my hand from her head. Her blanket falls to the floor and reveals her bare legs. I swallow thickly.
Elsa stares down at me. "What I'm having a hard time dealing with is the fact that at one point, you did love her. I know you don't anymore, but what you felt for her then...it just scares that it might have been stronger than what you feel for me now."
She takes a deep breath. "And it scares me that I might be right, after seeing those pictures. That was something extremely intimate, John. I've never been so jealous."
"Elsa," I breathe, at a loss for words. I didn't know...
"I guess it bothers me knowing that I wasn't the one to be on the other side of something so intense," she finishes, putting on a fake smile.
I shake my head and stand to sit on the bed with her. "I just...fuck." I run a hand through my hair, wondering how I could possibly make her understand. Seeing her sit across from me and look so small made my heart twist.
"I know this is difficult to get through your head, but just listen: Joey was NOTHING compared to you, Elsa Thompson."
Her eyes widen, and she looks a bit surprised by my use of her last name, but I continue. "What I feel for you is something completely different from what I felt for her. It's what I felt WITH her that made me stick around as long as I did. Don't you ever think that I don't love you more than I've ever loved anyone, because there's no one that could ever measure up to you." I bite my lip. "You're it for me, Elsa. I don't want anyone else. Don't doubt it even for a second."
She looks down at her knees. "That's the thing, John," she whispers. "There's one thing that I can't measure up to, and I don't think I ever will until I do."
"What are you talking about?" I ask her, confused.
I watch as Elsa takes a deep breath before making her way over to me, crawling into my lap and straddling my waist. Her lips attach to my neck while her hands slip beneath my shirt. A small groan slips past my lips.
She breaks away to pull her top over her head, throwing it aside. My eyes widen. We were in her house now and that was a much more dangerous territory.
I gently grab her wrists snaking further down my stomach. "Ellie," I pant.
"Sleep with me," she breathes.
I wince. It hurt to see that she didn't believe me. I wish my words were enough for her to realize that I truly loved her.
After a moment of silence, I kiss her forehead. "I can't do that. Not for the wrong reason." I take her face in my hands. "But please don't think it's because I don't want to. I just don't feel right doing it just to...prove something. I shouldn't even have to."
She bites her lip and looks away. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I murmur. "I get it, Ellie. I do."
"No, it's wrong of me to try and force you or rush you into it," she says hastily. "If it was the other way around, I'd probably make a big deal about it. But I have to respect your decision the way you would respect mine and-and..." She hides her face in my chest. "I feel stupid."
I sigh, wrapping my arms around her. "Don't. I just don't want you to regret anything."
"I could never regret being with you," she mumbles. "I love you, John. I hope I'VE proved that."
A smile teases my lips. I think she proved that when she agreed to live in Arizona in a stranger's home.
Smoothing down her hair, I mutter, "You have."

I gave Jared and Eric a call, since I'd took off to Ohio without telling anyone. I assumed they knew where I'd be, anyway.
"Hey, Halvo," I greet Eric when he picks up.
"O' Callaghan," he sighs. "Disappeared off the face of the earth again?"
"I came to bring Elsa home," I say defensively.
He chuckles. "Oh, really? Are you moving there or something? Because I don't picture you coming back without her."
I bite my lip. "I'm still figuring that part out."
A loud barking on the other line makes me smile. "How's Ruby?"
"Good. I think she's pissed that you ditched her for Ellie, though."
"I'll make it up to her," I tell him just as I hear Elsa calling me. "Listen, I'll text you. Gotta go see what the woman wants."
"She's the woman now, huh?" he asks, laughing. "A'ight, dude. Take care."
I hang up just as she enters the room. I run a hand through my hair. "What's up?"
She bites her lip and wraps her arms around my waist. "I wanted to ask you if you'd come with me and my mom to file a report on Isaac."
My thoughts come to a halt, my hand on her back freezing. She was finally taking legal action against that prick? Did this mean we'd done it? Was this the last obstacle we had to overcome to finally be together? Aside from living in different states, I couldn't think of any other problems.
I look down at her and her pleading eyes. She looks scared to go on her own. But it's not like she was alone or anything; her mother was going.
"Y-yeah, sure," I mutter. "Do you need me for something?"
"Well, they'll probably ask you questions since you're a witness, I guess," she says quietly. "It'll mostly be paperwork for me. You'll make your statement, and then we wait for the court decision."
I take a deep breath, trying to process all that information. It'll probably take hours, but at least she can finally get it out of the way and she could move on.
"Of course," I tell her, smoothing down her hair. "I'm proud of you, Elsa."
She gives me a small smile. "I'm proud of us."
I take her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. I was proud of us, too.