Please Don't Take This Out on Me

"Hey in there, it's time to get up."

My eyes snapped open and immediately closed again. It was really bright in here. I felt someone squeeze my hand and I reopened my eyes slower this time.

My vision was blurry at first but soon I adjusted and noticed a group of faces around me.

"Hey, you gave us quite a scare." Patrick smiled and me and held out his hand. I shook it and he nodded once. "It's good to have you back."

"You really scared us, Kellin." Tony said.

Tony, Mike, Patrick, Jaime, and Vic were all here.

There was also a cop.

I completely ignored anything anyone said. "Why is there a cop here? Where's my dad? What did you do?!" I turned to Patrick.

"Son, calm down-" the cop started.

"You." I pointed at him. "Shut up." He raised his eyebrows and sat back down. "Everyone needs to shut up and listen to me. I didn't want help. I didn't need help. And what do you idiots do? You fucking help me. Who's fault is that?" I pointed to the cop and everyone went silent. "Somebody better start talking." I warned.

Vic opened his mouth and Patrick spoke before Vic could start. "Vic called me down here when the brought you in. They asked about how you got the broken bones and bruises and I told them. Your father was taken into custody for child abuse and assault in the first degree and soon you'll be coming to live with my wife and I." He explained.

I could tell there was more that they weren't telling me, but for now I wasn't going to argue with them. "Whatever, when can I get out of here?"

"You'll need to answer some questions for the station first." The cope spoke up.

I just nodded. Fingers discreetly tangled with mine and I knew it was Vic.

"I'll need to ask you all to leave." The officer who I now knew was Officer Menning, said. Jaime, Tony, Mike and Patrick got up.

"If you need anything, say so. Okay?" Patrick asked quietly. I just nodded. Vic however didn't move.

Officer Menning looked to Vic. "Son, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave for confidentiality."

He nodded and stood. I yanked him back down and pulled him onto the bed with me. "He's my boyfriend and I trust him. I want him here. And if you won't let him stay, I won't talk." I gave officer Menning the ultimatum.

He didn't look like he appreciated my highly unethical action, but he just nodded. "So, when was the first time your father hit you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour, eight cuddles, and countless tears, the police officer finally left me alone. The whole time he looked at me with this look of pity. I hate that look.

He opened the door and with one last sigh, walked out of the room. As soon as the door shut, I burst into tears. I hated how the questions were asked. They were so careless. The deal with it everyday, so they're immune. But they've never dealt with it themselves. So, why the fuck do they have the right to ask us any of these questions? I think the bruises, broken bones and skin, and concussions were enough evidence. And now, they're going to arrest my father thinking that it'll all be okay. He has to be convicted first, after that they'll have a sentence hearing and I'll have to attend that too. My father could kill me before he even gets to prison.

I clutched Vic's body to me, and he rested his cheek on my hair rubbing up and down my back. I've never been a touchy person. Even when I was young, I would have rather just gotten a kiss on the head and been done with it. More so now, I wasn't too keen on touching since the only person who touched me, hurt me.

"Why did he hate me so much?" I mumbled against his chest.

"I don't know." He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter.

Maybe I was over-analyzing and being stupid. But people say 'everything happens for a reason' or 'God only lets these things happen because he knows you can handle it'. Bullshit. Not everything happens for a reason. God, probably doesn't even exist. So all those people out there that say 'with God you can get through anything', lies. Why do so many people commit suicide if God can help you with anything?

I'm not saying having a strong faith is bad. Because that's not it at all. Everyone does something different to get through their hard times and stress. Some people meditate, some people pray, some people cut themselves. However some methods of coping are extraordinarily counterproductive, it does give you a sort of release for a little while.

And when you blame everything that happens to you on yourself, you can't exactly help it.

"I want you to try something." Vic whispered. He held onto my wrist gently, rubbing his thumb over the marks there. "I want you to try and stop this. I don't want you to keep hurting yourself. But you need to do it for you. You need to believe you don't deserve this."

"Too bad I do." I mumbled.

"Hey." He tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. "We're going to work on that okay?" I simply nodded. "Okay." He kissed my forehead and hugged me again. I rested a hand on his chest and traced the letters on his Thrasher shirt.

Soon, the door opened a crack and Jaime peaked around the door. "Are you decent?"

I smiled a bit and nodded.

The Mike and Tony came back in the room without Patrick. "Patrick is filling out the paperwork for you to be sent home with him." Tony said.

"But other than all that, how're you feeling twinkerbell?" Jaime asked.

"Twinkerbell?" I raised my eyebrows at him. Vic and Mike both were holding back laughter and I could tell Tony wasn't impressed by the sassy eye roll he gave.

"Well, yeah, I mean you're a twink and you kind of remind me of a fairy so...twinkerbell." Jaime shrugged. I reminded him of a fairy? Nice. It's probably the voice. And the hair. And the everything.

I nodded slowly. "I like it. You get a cookie."

"Seriously though." Tony pushed in. "How are you?"

I leaned my head back and shrugged, staring at the ceiling. "Oh, you know, emotional trauma, self-loathing, bodily harm. But I mean other than that I'm doing rad."

Mike looked at me with disapproval. "That wasn't funny."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I wasn't joking." Sometimes, I love my own cynical sense of humor. Other times like this, it's pitiful.

"Kellin, if you're having some sort of emotional problems, you need to get help for them." Tony advised.

"I've been dealing with this on my own since I was six. I think I'll be fine." I hugged Vic tighter.

"If you ever need anything-" I cut Tony off.

"I know where to go." I smiled a bit and he nodded. "Alright, bitches, get me out of here."

~~

Vic and I went back to Patrick's house to meet his wife so I could get settled. Apparently, he and Vic went over to my dad's house and got most of my things and moved them into the guest room.

When the door opened, a short dark haired woman smiled at me.

"You must be Kellin!" She hugged me and it kind of hurt but she seemed really excited so I just hugged her back. "I'm Elisa, but you can call me mom. Here, I'll show you your room!" She was a bit too peppy for my taste but she seemed really nice and I'm sure I could get used to having someone like that in my life.

The room I had here was pretty much like the one at my dad's house but this one was way nicer and had a bathroom attached. The walls were dark blue and Vic must have put all my poster back up. There was large window with a seat which I was totally into.

I turned around and smiled at them. "Thank you. You didn't have to do this and I really appreciate it. I can't tell you thank you enough."

Elisa simply brushed it off. "Of course! It's not problem and seeing as Patrick and I don't have any children of our own, you're just the icing on the cake!"

I giggled a little and she hugged me again.

"I'm so glad we got you away from there. I can't imagine living like that. But you're with us now, and we're going to do right by you, I promise." She kissed my cheek and patted my face gently. "Well, I'll leave you to it then. Do you think you want to go to school Monday? Or do you want to wait a few more days?"

"I think I'll go on Tuesday. If that's okay..." My voice get continually smaller.

"Of course." Patrick nodded. "But we will both be at work. Will you be alright alone?"

I nodded. "I should be okay, if not I'll call. Thank you."

Patrick smiled and nodded, patting my shoulder gently. "I'll let you alone now."

Patrick and Elisa stepped into the hallway and left Vic and I in 'my room'. However before leaving completely, Elisa pointed to the door.

"This stays unlocked while Vic is here. I know you aren't my biological son, but I will treat you as such, and I would prefer it if my son and his boyfriend didn't have sex while I'm at home. Thank you, be safe." Elisa closed the door and I heard her walk down the hall.

My face was on fire. I can't believe she said that with Vic in the room. I mean, I know she's my mom now and all but still. For real? The no sex card? I haven't even taken that into consideration.

Okay. Okay. Maybe I had but still. I get the rules, no fucking while the 'rents are at home. Duh.

"So..." Vic rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"So." I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater.

"Boyfriend, huh?"

I snapped my head up to look at him. I did call him my boyfriend, didn't I? "Well, I just wanted you to stay and um, I don't know."

Vic walked towards me slowly. With each step he took to me, I took a step back until I hit the wall, leaving me nowhere to go. He was now standing a breath away from me. Reaching out a bit, he grabbed the bottom of my sweater and pulled on it, tugging my body against his.

"I'm cool with boyfriend." He whispered.

With one hand holding my shirt and the other onto my hip, he pressed his lips against mine. I rested my hands on his neck, holding his face to mine. His lips moved slowly and he slid his tongue past my lips. This was so much better than the furious making out I was used to. Something felt...different? No, that wasn't the right word. Better. It felt better. Maybe it was how it done or maybe it was the person I was with. Hard to tell. He sucked on my bottom lip lightly before taking it between his teeth and tugging it gently.

Leaving my lips, he left open-mouthed kisses down my neck and around my collar bones, running his tongue along the hollow of my throat. Both of his hands were now gripping my hips and holding me tightly. I tilted my head back and tugged on his hair with a quiet groan. Vic pushed me against the wall softly, and let his mouth glide up the skin of my neck.

With a quiet hum, his teeth scraped my skin, forming a purple bruise. Pressing a few more kisses to my neck, he sucked on my skin, breaking the blood vessels there. Brushing his tongue over the mark, he drifted back to my lips and gave me a chaste kiss. He took both of my hands in his and kissed my knuckles. He looked me in the eye and leaned his head forward, resting our forehead together. I could feel his breath on my face and his nose touching the tip of my own.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"I'm cool with boyfriend."