Alone

"So, where's the Impala? I'm guessing you want to get it," I ask them as I pull out of the hospital parking lot. I wait right before the road waiting for someone's response.

"Uh, it's 304 5th Avenue North East I believe," Sam tells me. I nod my head and pull out, taking a left and start driving in the direction. I don't ask why it's a house, because I somewhat knew the answer. They thought they found the monster, and they ended up being captured by it. It's not the first time it's happened.

I turn on the radio and 'Enter Sandman' by Metallica is on. I slightly turn it up and quietly sing the words and take a right turn on 4th avenue. Sam glances at me, showing a small smirk in response to my horrible singing even though he can't really hear it that well. He gives me a few directions here and there, and we're soon at the house. The car is still parked in the driveway, looking gorgeous as ever. I'd always liked Chevy's old Impalas. Not the new ones though, they're quite boring. I park by the curb and Sam and Dean get out. Sam stops and keeps the door open. "You want to come by the hotel? Stay for awhile?" I stay still, thinking a bit. I soon nod my head.

"I'll follow you guys," I tell him. He nods his head. I half wanted to go to the hotel to ask Dean why he's acting the way he is. I'd have to do it sometime. I also wanted to stay and talk to Sam awhile. I missed him the time we'd been away from each other. I missed how well our frames fit together, surprisingly. I'm so small, and he's the giant he is, you'd think it would be awkward, but I love it. I love hugging him, I love it when he puts his arm around my shoulders, and it sits there like it's supposed to be there. I missed him a lot.

We get to the hotel and Dean gets out of the car first, and quickly goes into the hotel room. I groan and park my car, and get out. Sam's waiting for me on the sidewalk in front of my car. I smile at the sight of him smiling. I walk over to him and he effortlessly puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me into the room. Dean's no where to be found, probably in the bathroom. I decide now is the best time to tell Sam I'd like to talk to Dean. He understands, like always, and gives me a few tips on what to say. I thank him and see Dean walk out of the bathroom. I stand up from the chair and hesitantly say,"Hey, Dean?" He stops in his tracks and looks at me. "Could we talk? Outside?" He shrugs and walks out of the room. I shoot Sam a look and he returns with a sympathetic one.

I get out of the room and see Dean leaning against the wall next to the door, crossing his arms. "I know what this is going to be about," he says, mono-toned.

"So why don't you tell me then? Humor me," I respond, coldly. His very familiar 'laid back' look goes away as he stands straight up, and is soon towering over me as he takes a step closer. He looks down at me and I look back up, not showing any emotion.

"I don't want to ruin anything else," he says. I raise my eyebrows, showing I'm not very impressed with his answer. "I don't know how to explain it, Regan. You know you're a weakness to me, you obviously know it, that's why you ran away. I mess everything up when I talk, obviously. I messed up every little thing we'd built since we were alone and you were fourteen when I told you how I felt. I messed it up when I said I don't want to get any closer to you, and see what I'm doing? I'm talking, I mess shit up when I'm talking. I can't do this, I thought it was best if I ignored you while I could before we'd have this talk."

"You thought it would be best if you ignored me? Is acting like an asshole what you call ignoring? Damn, you need to work on that. I don't think you realize how it felt when you made no effort to try and keep me from staying away from you guys, when you looked away every time I looked at you, when you gave smart-ass comments every time I made an effort to talk to you. And that's what you call 'ignoring'?" I let it all out. I didn't care if what I said damaged him, because it's what he didn't say that damaged me.

"I know, Regan. I regretted it as soon as I started it, but I was too much of a dumbass to stop when I could have," he says. I scoffed at his response. He was being a dumbass, and it was obvious. "I don't know how to fix this, Regan, I suck at fixing things, as you can see. I don't know what to do."

I look back up at him, and with every word I find myself stupidly forgiving him. I know it's hard for him to say he's a dumbass, or being bad at something, so some part of me forgives him for that. "Here's what you can do. I'm going to go on my own life, okay? I'm going to leave you guys, and the next time we somehow see each other, we're going to start all over. New introductions, the whole 'Hello my name is.' Everything," I tell him. His face hardens, but it soon goes away as I get to the last part. He cracks a small grin, knowing this is my way of telling him I somewhat forgive him.

He looks at me with the same eyes I'd seen before all of this, and the grin grows bigger as he says," I missed you, Regan."

I nod my head and give him the smallest smirk," I know." He lets out a small chuckle and wraps me into a hug. I decide to hug him back, taking it all in, his familiar scent, even though it's a bit horrid right now, the familiar curve of his muscular back, everything, and I soon let it all go. I look at him for awhile. "We should go back in." He nods his head and puts his hand in the small of my back leading me back into the motel room.

When we talk in I see Sam situating himself. He was obviously looking at us through the window. I give him the look of 'i know what you were doing' and he relaxes a bit. "So you guys are good?"

I glance at Dean then back at Sam. I slowly nod my head," A bit." I tell him what I plan on doing, and he hesitantly agrees. I see a small spark in his eye fade out when I tell him I'll be leaving. I guess he thought since Dean and me had made up I'd be staying with them, like we used to, but I couldn't do that just yet. He thinks that new introductions is a good idea. I let him know him and I don't need to reintroduce to each other, but he insists.

"Do you guys think I could sleep here tonight? It's pretty late and I'm positive I'd fall asleep if I drove back right now," I tell them. They both nod their heads and I smile. "Thanks. I'll sleep on the couch, okay?"

"No, I will," Dean offers. I nod my head, not complaining.

We all climb into our respective sleeping quarters, and go to sleep. I'm the last one to fall asleep, and I know this because I hear snoring coming from both sides of me, just like old times.

I wake up, later than Sam and Dean, which is a bit odd for me to up after Dean. I was usually the one waking him up. Dean turns his head away from the table and smiles. "Good morning, sunshine!" I groan at the sunlight coming into the windows. I squint my eyes, and fall back onto the pillow. "No, no no no no, you aren't going back to sleep. It's 1P.M. Get up!"

I groan again, and slowly rise from the bed. Why is he so happy? I look around, and I'm guessing Sam's in the bathroom. I rub my eyes and sit in front of him at the table. "So what are you guys gonna do now?" I ask him. He shrugs.

"Probably look for a new case, I don't know. It's up to Sam," he says, and pulls out some breakfast sandwiches from the bag. He hands me one and I give him a nod saying thanks. "You're welcome." Sam soon walks out of the bathroom and sees me awake and smiles.

"How are you?" He asks me. I shrug. He nods his head, understanding.

I soon finish my sandwich and grab a few of my things, like my phone and shoes and get ready to go. "Whoa whoa whoa, you're leaving already?" I hear Dean's voice behind me. I turn around and nod my head.

"I need to get back and fix up that old Mercury. I told you I was going to leave yesterday," I tell him and slide on my boots.

"But you didn't tell me you'd leave so soon," he says, sadly.

"I'll see you soon," I tell him. He walks over and gives me a hug. I hug him back, he doesn't let go for awhile. I soon let go and he does to, so it won't be awkward. "Bye, Dean." He nods his head, giving me a small wave. "Bye, Sam!" I say a little bit louder since he's laying on the bed. He averts his eyes from the TV to me, and quickly gets up from the bed. He walks over and wraps me up into a bear hug, I let out a silent chuckle as he squeezes me. I'm going to miss hugging them, waking up to them being right there, right next to me. I'm going to miss them, both of them. I hate to admit it, but it hurts saying bye to them.

"Bye, Regan," they both say. I wave to them good bye and walk out of the old motel room.

Out of the sake of not having to say good bye like this again, I hope I don't see them anytime soon.