Brief Encounters

After all of the times I've encountered Sidney, I've concluded that they were transient- 'here today and gone tomorrow.' The doubt of seeing him once more grew stronger each time around, but it wasn't until Sunday that I've given up thinking that. He made it clear that we would be seeing one another on a frequent basis. Even though Sidney techniquely hadn't said that aloud to me, I could infer it was what he meant from the way he constantly seemed intrigued by whatever I had to say and asking to see me again. It was the mundane thing to do concerning our prior circumstances after all; if we both suddenly decided to no longer acquaint ourselves to the other, it'd just be strange and unfulfilling.

Despite making myself believe all was normal, I still couldn't help but feel a constant knot in my stomach, telling me my intentions were wrong. It was as if Eden tied a rope around my midsection and made sure to leave it impossible for me to untangle. He'd have a hold of me until it was decided to let go of the end of the twine, keeping me tied to him. Knowing that I would be meeting up with Sidney at my workplace only made what was wrapped around me feel tighter and more constrictive. Furthermore, the "date" triggered words like 'rendezvous' to float about in my head, and it made me feel guilty.

However, what nagging emotions bit at my face had to be repelled, and so I swallowed down what fear was attracting them as I went to work without telling Eden that a certain someone would be my company there.



Finally being able to clip my name-tag onto my polo with shaking hands, I heard the bell in the front of the pet shop signal someone had entered. My heart, which was already beating the speed of a jack rabbit, only increased in pace once I saw the dark tufts of Sidney's hair. I mentally assured myself that everything would be all right, and if I didn't calm down, then I'd only worry him, or at worst, freak him out. It was a feeble pep-talk, but it was all I could manage with a confused mindset that prolonged from earlier.

"Hello, Sidney!" I chirped, trying to flash a confident smile, but most likely failing. "How are you today?"

He turned in my direction and quickly looked over my figure. From what my instincts told me, it seemed as if he hadn't picked up on how nervous I was.

"Oh, hey!" he grinned. "I'm doing good; I can't wait to play with the puppies."

Suddenly picking up on his word choice, Sidney flushed red and began laughing at his embarrassment. Catching on a moment later, I let his actions remove what negative vibes circulated my body, just as he had done in the restaurant on Sunday, and joined in with his laughter.

"I am so sorry! I did not mean to say it like that!" His eyes averted towards the ground as his chuckles faded out.

"Don't worry about it! You actually just brightened my mood..."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

This time I looked down when he lifted his head. For some reason, whenever Sidney showed genuine interest with my well-being, I turned bashful. It was as if he let off rays of compassion and care that were supposed to bring me up like a tree to the sun, but instead I flopped down as if I was lacking the nutrients to help me grow and feel happy. It was a strange sensation, but perhaps that was because I didn't receive that kind of treatment at home with Eden, and so suddenly experiencing the solicitude with Sid overwhelmed me into a state of timidity. I felt like I was in a vulnerable state whenever this happened, letting someone I wasn't that close to see what sadness actually resided within me. However, I couldn't stop my melancholic emotions from breaching the surface of my skin for Sidney to see. So, when I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder a moment later for reassurance, I finally realized what I hoped wouldn't be true: he saw right through me.

"Well," he began. "I'm glad about that... In any case, though, I'll try not to make some silly and dirty references later on. That was a bad way to start a conversation with you on my part!"

His laughter instantly filled the tensed atmosphere we stood in, and for a moment I felt all of my senses come around to me again. There was the sound of birds chirping from their cages on the other half of the store, and the barking of some of the dogs in the kennel in the back. The cold rush that flooded throughout me left as if it had never affected me in the first place, pushing my sorrow back into the cage of my heart. Lastly, I could finally lift my head and eyes to Sidney. Though, his stare relayed a message- a message that told me he understood what I was going through.

I cleared my throat a second later and forced a smile, "Right, well, the dogs are in the room behind us. I'm kind of curious which one will fancy you because they always seem to pick a favorite when people come to visit them..."

Sidney's hand finally slid from my shoulder and went inside his jeans' pocket instead, as his smile went crooked again in amusement.

"Now, I'm stoked."

I led him to the back door and briefly warned him that he was likely to be attacked and jumped on at first, but eventually his 'chosen' pup would be the only one left at his side. After instructing him on how to get into the kennel with me at a fast pace and leaving hardly any room for a dog to slip by as we entered, there was an explosion of fur. Terriers, Hounds, Poodles, Spaniels, and Labradors all came scratching at Sidney's and my calves, and whined to be pet. It only took a split second before their begging was acknowledged and fulfilled, as we crouched onto our haunches and let the dogs bombard us. Several minutes went by before many of them ran to the other half of the room to either play with one another, eat, or lay down. In the end, the Beagle that chose me as its favorite from the first time I stepped foot in the kennel was sat in front of me, and propped up on Sidney's thigh was a black and white Papillon.

"Wow, look at these !" he exclaimed, guiding his fingers along the rims of the dog's ears. "They're so big... and they make her look like a butterfly!"

"Well, that's actually how that breed of dog got its name. She's a Papillon, which is French for 'butterfly.'"

Sidney lifted his head to me and grinned. "Hey, don't treat me like I don't know that. We grew up in Canada together; I know my French."

"Sorry," I laughed, "I must have forgotten about that."

"Imbécile."

His insult to me only brought about more chuckles, and I had to stand up to try to get a hold of myself. My Beagle friend took that as sign to get a ball for me to play fetch with him. From the corner of my eye, I could see Sidney rise to his feet, too, and he immediately went to get a dog toy so that he could also join in on the fun. During this time of gamboling with the dogs, a conversation sprouted. Sid and I spoke about our jobs again, in which he went off rambling about another hockey player who had been giving him a rough time on the ice, and I vented about how many of my coworkers didn't work as hard as I did and left me to do a lot of the tasks they were supposed to. I felt it was therapeutic for the both of us considering we took our occupations seriously and didn't have the time or the right person to talk to about this matter. There was a lot of relief that came with our discussion, however all that was ripped away when Sidney suddenly asked about what Eden did for a job.

"He's an entrepreneur."

His hand froze in mid-air with the dog toy in hand and turned to me. "Really? I would have never thought."

That's because you don't live with Eden and hear his infamous speech about how he and I will be rich off of his business, on a daily basis.

"Yeah, well, he has high hopes and the determination to make it work."

Sidney turned back to face the impatient Papillon before deciding to sit on the ground, clearly done with playing with the pup. I watched as his mouth opened and shut a couple of times, hesitating on how to get out what he wanted to. Eventually he caught my stare, and as if that empowered him, he began speaking.

"Do you like Eden, Lottie?" Sidney's bold question must have also took him off-guard as much as it did to me, and out of a nervous twitch his hand went to rub behind his neck. "Sorry, it's just whenever I seem to bring him up or imply him, I don't always sense that you're...-"

"-that I'm what?" I asked, starting to feel offended.

There was a sensation that made my heart feel clenched. To get the impression someone knew what I was all about frustrated me, and at the moment Sidney was fitting the description of just that. Earlier in the store, even, he sensed something wrong with my mood and reacted on it. He tried to console me despite the fact I gave no clues as to the reason I was upset. If he somehow sensed my negativity was developed due to Eden, then not only was he wrong, but he was making an insult to my relationship.

"Happy."

The word stung my ears and made me cringe on impact of it being heard. This was the exact occasion that I was so keen on avoiding with Sidney: when he would discover what I wanted out of life and wasn't able of obtaining. It was happiness. Although I tried to pretend that I was the exact definition of the word he spoke of, I was fooling myself. However, Eden wasn't at fault for keeping me from feeling jubilated; it was myself and my perception on life. My relationship, if a different person were to take my place, could be grand and praise-worthy. Though, I did not see it that way. Everything that bothered me about Eden couldn't possibly annoy another person. It was all my doing to prevent me from achieving happiness.

Crossing my arms and averting my gaze, I muttered, "It's not Eden that gets me upset."

"Then, what is?"

Sidney now stood and came a little ways closer to my sulking figure. If he were to look close enough then maybe he'd be able to see the bags under my eyes that I fervently tried to cover with make-up.

"What's it to you?" I said sharply.

I knew I had caught him from pushing any further on the subject, once I saw he took a step backwards. Though it wasn't the ground his foot landed on; it was the tail of the Papillon.

"Shit!" he exclaimed.

The dog yowled and ran away to the miniature house it slept in. Once inside, it began growling in our direction, probably wishing it could glare daggers at Sidney. The trust it must have felt before must have dissipated. I could sense from the way the dog held itself that it would be a long time until it would forgive Sid.

Hand rubbing his forehead, Sidney looked over at me. "Gosh, I'm sorry."

The remorseful manner in which this response came out applied to both how he was trying to infringe into my personal life, and how he had just hurt one of the dogs I was responsible for. I considered his apology then, and decided in the end that I would appear much too sensitive and rude if I didn't accept it. I'd be overreacting and melodramatic as a whole.

"It's fine, Sid." A small smile appeared on my face. "Don't worry about it."

This could also be seen in another light. I wanted him to know that his dog wouldn't hate him forever, and also that he shouldn't have to care about my feelings or what made me unhappy. So, if I had assumed right on him being able to see right through me earlier, then this message was likely to be received and hopefully acknowledged.

"All right."

Sidney's face softened, and that's when I knew he heard the underlying information in my words. He gave one last glance to the Papillon, which had given up on growling and instead was napping, and walked towards the door we once entered.

He cleared his throat. "I think I'll go now. I've got to get ready for a game tonight."

"Sure."

We sneakily made our way into the front of the shop and once outside, stopped where we were. Again our legs would not move, just like when we exited the restaurant on Sunday. This was not how our time together was supposed to end- unrequited in the sense of gratitude.

"Thank you for having me over, Lottie. I really enjoyed spending time with you and the puppies."

Having done what he promised he wouldn't do, a bellow of laughter escaped Sidney's throat. I was instantly drawn in and allowed myself to laugh along with him as if his actions were contagious. His eyelids scrunched up underneath his brown eyes from the cheerful expression on his face, and I felt like I mirrored that exactly.

"Dirty reference again, there!"

"I know, I know," he said with a voice full of amusement. "I can't believe I let that happen again. For now on I'll just say 'dogs.'"

With both of us calming down once more, Sidney took that as a sign to plan another hangout for the next week. He wanted to come back to the store and try to persuade his pooch to forgive him and then take me out for another meal. At first I was nervous, considering I'd normally go out with Eden for dinner that night or catch a movie with him, but for once I tried to think positively about the circumstance, and accepted Sid's offer.

He turned on his heel then, and I finally felt like I could be at ease with the dogs inside the shop, until I heard his remark...

"You better watch the game tonight! I'm going to quiz you on it next time we meet up."