Love Yourself so Nobody Has To

Marceline P.O.V.

“Bitch, Wake up!” My “father” yelled as he punched me in the stomach and then proceeded to leave the room.

He wasn't always like this. When I was younger my father treated me like a princess, he always got me what I wanted. I was daddy’s little girl.

This all started happening when my brother died. That was almost three years ago. Three years ago wasn't when he started to call me names or hit me, no that is when he started drinking to help heal the pain. We all did stuff to help distract us from the pain. My mother started working more and more. I barely even see my mom anymore she’s always on business trips or she’s at work until late and then goes back in early mornings. She basically lives in her office. My brother Alex had music. He and his friends started a band ‘All Time Low’. Alex sang and played guitar, then there was his best friend Jack who also played guitar, Zack was the bassist and last but not least Rian was the drummer. They were really good. Oh and as for me, I turned to the blade for distraction. It’s not the best way to cope, but it helps.

I’m sorry for rambling on anyway…

It was 5:30 in the morning and I had an hour to get ready for school.

T.G.I.F.

As I sat up on my bead I winced from the pain of the newly forming bruise on my stomach. I slowly got up and made my way to the bathroom. I striped from my clothes and proceeded to turn on the shower. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that was beginning to fog up.

I noticed how fat I looked.

“I guess I wont be eating today either…” I mumbled to myself before getting in the shower.

After about 10 minutes, I was done. I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around my body and made my way to my room.

I searched my closet for clothes and decided on a Black Pierce The Veil tee, black ripped skinnies, and my blue zebra vans.

I walked over to my vanity and put on some concealer and foundation to cover up the bruises on my face. I applied some mascara, eyeliner and chap-stick. My hair was already dried into natural waves so I slipped on a beanie and some bracelets, grabbed my phone and backpack and made my way downstairs and out the door.

I put my headphones in my ears, clicked shuffle, and had Adam’s Song, by Blink 182 beautifully played in my ears.

My music got quiet. I saw that Alex texted me…

“That’s weird” I thought. I haven’t spoken to him since our "fight" before he went on tour a year ago.

* Flashback*

Alex, the guys, and I were all jamming out to Green Day and Blink in Alex’s car . It was our last day together before they went on tour and we were going to throw a party. Luckily both of our parents were gone for the week.
We pulled up to our house and got everything out of the car. We wanted this to be the best party ever!
The party didn’t start until 8:00pm and it was only 6.
Zack and Rian moved all of the picture frames and other breakable things into our parents room.
Alex locked their bedroom door so no one could go in there, then proceeded back downstairs ro move the couch and other furniture so there was a dancing space.

Jack put up all the decorations. There was streamers, balloons, confetti everywhere. It looked amazing!

I in the kitchen getting all of the snacks into bowls.

“Oh look, it’s Marcy in her life dream, food everywhere! Now don’t eat it all!” Alex joked as he poked me in my stomach.

7:45

I was finished setting the food and drinks on the counter. What Alex said still in the back of my mind.

I went upstairs to my room to change. As I stood in my bra and panties I noticed my reflection in the mirror. I was disgusted with what I saw. My stomach slightly bulging out, no thigh gap, my arms full of fat.

How could I of not noticed this before?! I needed to change this.

I turned around startled to see Jack standing in my room.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!” I asked him.

“ I did knock, 3 times to be exact. I was going to ask you if you wanted pizza, but I can already see that you don’t need it.” Jack laughed.

“Oh, hah. I’m sorry and yeah I’m good I don’t want any.” I replied embarrassed . I went to turn away but tripped over my own two feet and landed on top of Jack.

All of a sudden Alex waltzed into my room and his face had became full of anger.

I got off Jack and he got out of the room.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Why were you half naked and on top of Jack? Do you think he likes you? Because he doesn't. I mean who would? Look at you, you’re the size of a whale. You probably crushed the poor kid. Just because dad get you everything you want doesn't mean everyone is going too. You're such a whore Marceline! God, why can’t you just leave me and my friends alone for once! You’re a useless piece of shit Marcy. I hate you!” And with that Alex had stormed off.

I could hear him downstairs talking to his band mates.

“ Dude I think she broke my rib cage.” Jack told the guys

“I wouldn't doubt it she probably only weighs 3 tons.” Rian laughed.

“She was probably half naked because she couldn't find any clothes that fit her.” Zack chimed in. They all laughed.

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the week. Not even to say goodbye to the guys before they left….

*End of Flashback*

I shook the memory out of my head. "Maybe Alex has finally forgiven me?" I thought.
I decided to see what he said. I opened the messaging app on my iPhone.

Alex: "Hey Marce." Well this seems good so far he's using the nickname that he gave me.

Marceline: "Hi Alex, what's up?"

Alex: "Not much, we're coming home today."

Marceline: "You are?! That's awesome!"

Alex: "Yeah, but we need to talk..." Not the 'we need to talk' line that means something bad.

Marceline: "Okay..."

Alex: "I'll pick you up after school."

Marceline: Okay. Thank you."

Alex: "Mhm. Whatever."

Okay maybe he hasn't forgiven me...