Apartment 4C

May. How was it May already? How had two weeks passed into this misery?

Jake was doing a little better after his rant to Gabe and Elliot, to be truthful, but not much. His chest still ached whenever he went down to the laundry room, feeling empty without Alfie’s chatter and laugh and warmth there with him. He still missed the comfort of having Alfie’s arm around his shoulders while they sat on the sofa on Friday movie and take-out night. He still craved the way Alfie looked at him, like he was the only thing that mattered, like there was nothing else Alfie wanted more.

But that was in the past now, clearly.

And there was nothing more that Jake could do other than soldier forward, ignoring Gabe pitying glances and Elliot watching him like he was expecting something to happen. What else was he supposed to do?

Apparently the universe had sorted that out for him.

Jake was halfway through his Tuesday morning freshman class, 9-10am, when he heard a knock at the door. He turned his head, only expecting Elliot or Gabe or another teacher, but his jaw dropped slightly at who was standing on the other side of the glass pane. Damn the college for not having solid wood doors.

Alfie?

What the hell?

Jake frowned at him, but Alfie beckoned him over with a pleading look on his face. And it was only the flutter of butterflies in his stomach that stopped him from rolling his eyes and refusing.

“Alright everyone, I need to step out of the room for a minute or two, so you can all answer me this question - Woolf created Septimus Warren Smith as a double for Clarissa. In what ways are Clarissa and Septimus different and in what ways are they the same? Work in pairs, no looking it up on SparkNotes,”

Jake couldn’t help but laugh at the chorus of groans that sounded from his students, walking out of the room with a grin on his face. It was almost kind of fun watching them suffer. The perks of being a college lecturer.

As soon as Jake closed the door behind him, his breath hitched his throat. He had just left his students to talk to Alfie. Alfie, his ex-boyfriend who broke up with him only a couple of weeks ago. Alfie who broke his heart to protect his own being broken. What the hell was he doing here?

“I’m not interrupting something important, am I?” Alfie asked nervously.

“Mrs Dalloway isn’t my favourite book, so I don’t mind really,” Jake shrugged, trying to play it cool.

He could play it cool, right?

Alfie gave him a blank look. Jake tried not to laugh. That would be cruel. And it was one of the reasons Alfie had broken up with him. No, stop it Jake.

“Mrs Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf?” Jake offered.

“Oh, I have actually heard of her!” Alfie smiled.

Jake inhaled sharply at the smile, all his breath feeling like it had been punched out of his chest, bringing him back down to Earth.

“What are you doing here, Alfie?” Jake asked, wearily.

The past couple of weeks had been hell – he didn’t to repeat them over again.

“I want to apologise,” Alfie blurted.

What?

Alfie blushed slightly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. Wow. He really was nervous.

“I need to apologise,” Alfie continued, “I was wrong to act the way I did about that asshole teacher, and I was wrong to blow up on you too,”

This was almost too much.

“Then why did you do it?” Jake asked, voice quiet.

“You know about my past. You know how much my parents kicking me out hurt me, how it was like rejection because I wasn’t good enough. I guess seeing you with that creep shocked those feelings back into me, and I slammed up my walls again before I realised it. And by the time I was able to take those walls down, I’d already ruined everything with you,” Alfie said softly.

Oh God. Oh Alfie.

“You didn’t deserve it, any of it. I’m really sorry,” Alfie finished, twisting his hands awkwardly.

Jake swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. This wasn’t fair. Alfie couldn’t do this to him. To calm himself, Jake dropped his gaze from Alfie’s face to his chest, waiting until his breathing was a little less shaky to lift his head again.

“Was it Elliot or Gabe that spoke to you?” Jake asked.

There was no point in Alfie lying now, was there?

Alfie hesitated slightly, his cheeks flushing a little pink again.

“It was Elliot,” Alfie admitted.

Well at least he was honest.

Jake sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Alfie. You really hurt me. Like, really hurt me. I don’t care that you’re not book smart – I’m friends with Gabe and he isn’t!”

“Yeah but Gabe’s crazy smart on a whole other level that I could never reach,” Alfie pointed out, “And I don’t just want to be friends with you,”

He didn’t just want to be friends? He still wanted more? Jake couldn’t help but like the sound of that. No, wait, he couldn’t let Alfie off the hook like this. Not after the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on.

“I can’t forgive you easily,” Jake said softly.

“But you’ll let me work for it?” Alfie asked hopefully.

Fuck.

How was he supposed to say no to that face?

“I won’t forget how you flew off the handle,” Jake warned, “I won’t forget how you didn’t let me explain,”

“And I won’t forget that you’re giving me a second chance,” Alfie said, nodding.

Fuck.

“Only if you promise to actually listen to me when you have doubts. And only if you understand that I don’t care that you don’t have a clue about half the stuff I talk about,” Jake added.

“Only if you let me prove to you how sorry I am,” Alfie said, smiling, “And only if you let me show you that you are worth it,”

Jake blushed slightly. He remembered using those words to Gabe and Elliot – hearing Alfie say them made him a little embarrassed. Alfie didn’t need to know his rant. Alfie didn’t need to know how shitty he felt. Or maybe he did. Maybe this meant they were even.

“So can I have a second chance?” Alfie asked.

Jake knew what he wanted. What was the point in denying it?

“Only if you take me out for lunch,” Jake said, hands on hips.

Alfie grinned. “I think I can deal with that,”