Personal Goals

*Kellin’s POV*
I held my breath as I waited for Vic’s answer. Why was he taking so long to answer? I felt my palms getting sweaty and my heart start beating more rapidly. Fuck, I had no problem with getting in his pants, but God forbid I have the courage to ask him out. This shit was scary.
“Can we talk about this in person tomorrow?” he finally said. My heart fell. Why couldn’t he just say yes and then we could both be happy and move on from this awkwardness. I wanted something more with him. I liked him so much that I almost didn’t even want to hook up anymore if it turned out that he didn’t like me, so I knew this was risky. Fuck, why did I say anything at all?
“Um, okay,” I choked, then hung up because I didn’t want him to hear me cry. That’s exactly what I did, too. I dropped my phone, rolled over and cried into my pillow. I felt so fucking stupid. What the hell was I thinking?
---
The next day I didn’t feel like going to school so I faked sick and texted Justin that I wasn’t picking him up. It wasn’t very hard to fake sick when I already felt like shit. I hadn’t slept well the night before, so it wasn’t a surprise. On top of that, my stomach hurt because of the anxiety I had over seeing Vic. This was exactly why I hated developing feelings for guys. Feelings fuck you the fuck up.
I got up for a while and ate a little, but not very much. I spent some of my day in the living room, watching television on the big TV. The rest of my day, I spent curled up in bed, trying to sleep off the rest of the day. Otherwise, I knew I’d just be sitting and waiting.
Eventually, I did drift off to sleep, only to be woken up what felt like a few minutes later by the sound of my phone ringing. I picked it up and answered when I saw who it was. I guess I slept for longer than I thought.
“Hey,” I mumbled into the phone.
“Where are you? I’m downstairs,” Vic said into the phone. He sounded completely normal too. Why wasn’t this messing with him like it was messing with me? Right, because he wasn’t interested.
“I’m in my room,” I said. “I’m sorry, I just woke up.”
“Just woke up?” he repeated. “Where’s your room?”
Right, he’d never been upstairs before. I mumbled some directions for him, and about a minute later, Vic was standing in my room. I pulled the covers over my head and rolled away so I wasn’t facing him.
“You don’t look like you’re ready to work out,” he said.
“I’m not,” I croaked.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. I felt him try to lift the covers off of me. I pulled against him, but of course he was still stronger than me, so he had the upper hand in that. What surprised me was when he actually crawled into bed after me, pulling the covers back over both of us.
“Nothing,” I snapped.
“There’s obviously something wrong,” he said. My breathing hitched as I felt his arm wrapping around my middle as he assumed the role of the big spoon. “This is not the confident, sassy Kellin I know.”
“Yes it is,” I protested.
“Anyway, if everything’s fine then I wanted to talk to you,” he said, softly.
“Yeah.”
“I couldn’t answer you right away for a few reasons, the main one being that I had to make some changes to my work schedule lately, so I don’t have a whole lot of time for dating right now,” he explained.
“Oh.”
“But, that doesn’t mean I’m against trying to squeeze in a few every now and then,” he shrugged against me. I twisted in his arms and looked up at him, a little surprised.
“Wait, really?” I asked, a new sort of flittering in my chest now. This one felt a little better.
“Yes, really,” he said, reaching his hand up to brush away hair from my face. Okay, that was it. I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I lunged forward a little so I could grab his face and crash my lips against his. I was so nervous, but it soon subsided when I felt him kissing me back instead of pushing me away. It felt so good because I hadn’t been kissed in so long. I loved being kissed.
“When are your parents going to be home?” he asked, in between kisses. He had shifted so that he was on top of me, and things were starting to heat up a bit.
“Not until late, they’re at the home owner’s thing,” I said, quickly. He grinned and went back to kissing me as he pushed my shirt up and over my head, trailing kisses as he went. I was breathing heavier than usual, and I was convinced that it was because of these stupid butterflies he was giving me. How did I even end up liking him so much? This was crazy.
“Gym sex is hot and all, but I have to say, I do enjoy the bed, too,” he told me as he kissed my neck. I nodded, a little overwhelmed by all of the sensations he was giving me. The butterflies, the electricity, the warm feeling down below . . .
“I do too,” I gasped as he rocked his hips against mine. He sat up a little so that he could pull down my pants, which were still my pajama pants, so it wasn’t that hard . . . and I wasn’t wearing underwear, either.
“Fuck,” I breathed as he grasped my dick, running is hand up and down its length. I moaned and reached for his shorts, pulling them down. He rolled off of me momentarily so that he could do away with his shorts along with his underwear and his shirt, then pulled the covers over us once more and returned to his place over me. I ran my hands over his toned chest, loving how firm it was. He was perfect.
He reached in between us and held our members together, pumping them both and doubling the friction. It felt amazing, but all I really wanted was to feel him inside of me.
“Vic, fuck me,” I pleaded as he came back up to kiss me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair.
“Okay,” he said. “Do you have stuff?”
“Yeah, um- it’s in the third drawer under a bunch of clothes,” I said, a little impatient. He sat up again, moving the blankets around again. He leaned over just enough so that he could reach the drawers I was referring to and found what he needed. After that, he adjusted the blankets again and ripped over the little square foil package. I watched as he rolled on the condom and lubed himself. He curved his hands under my thighs, propping me up a bit as he pushed into me.
“Vic,” I moaned, feeling his length fill me up. He pushed in all the way and came up to meet my lips with his, kissing me as he began to move.
“Fuck, Kells, you’re so good,” he said in a deep voice as he broke from my lips so that he could pick up his pace. I threw my head back further into the pillow I was against as he hit my sweet spot repeatedly. My breathing was exaggerated as I gripped the sheets.
“Harder,” I gasped as I felt myself getting close to climax. He complied and thrust harder into me, sending me over the edge. “Holy shit.”
Vic took my member in his hand, pumping it quickly as I reached my limit. I gasped and shuddered and soon I was making a mess over my stomach. Vic’s arms were shaking as well, so I knew he was close as he slammed in a few more times so he could finish.
“Fuck,” he gasped, pushing in one last time as he came. After, he collapsed on top of me, ignoring the stickiness in between us. He kissed my neck a few times before rolling off of me.
“That was great,” I breathed, turning my head to look at him. He nodded, wordlessly. I reached for a box of tissues on my night stand and cleaned up the mess, then handed one to him so that he could wrap up the used condom and get clean himself.
“Feeling better?” he asked me, as I rolled against him, resting my head on his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“Much better,” I sighed, then smiled. “When’s the first date?”
“I’m free this weekend?” he suggested. “Maybe you can come over for lunch or something on Saturday.”
I smiled and hugged him tighter. That sounded like a great idea.
*Vic’s POV*
After I left Kellin’s house, I had to really book it to get home before Jenna showed up. It was Monday night- the regularly scheduled drop off.
Luckily, I got home with enough time to run upstairs and freshen up. I couldn’t believe that actually happened with Kellin. The whole kissing and him asking me out and everything. I had been thinking about it ever since I hung up with him the day before and I was extremely conflicted, but I knew that if I said no to Kellin, I’d probably lose my job with him a lot faster. I mean, it wasn’t that I was going out with him because of the job though – I really did like Kellin, like, a lot. Now I just had to figure out what the best way to tell him about Jess would be. I decided that it could wait a while. I wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with that drama.
Before long, my phone was ringing. It was just Jenna, so I just went downstairs to meet her instead of answering.
Once I was down in the parking lot, I noticed that Jenna was driving herself today. I chuckled to myself, thinking about how she must have finally gotten her full license or something. It’s about time.
I walked closer to the car as Jenna got out of it. I was about to put on my fake smile and try to be friendly, but all that quickly went away as I saw her dropping a cigarette butt to the ground. My blood boiled.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted.
“What?” she snapped.
“Are you fucking smoking with Jess in the car? Are you fucking stupid?” I practically screamed. She rolled her eyes as she opened the back seat of the car and undid the buckle for Jess’s car seat.
“It’s not a big deal, it was just this once,” she shrugged.
“Um, no it’s a huge deal. Do you know how bad second hand smoke is? Especially for infants? God dammit, this unbelievable,” I yelled at her, and then quieted as she handed Jess to me. I took her right away and held her close, still in disbelief that Jenna fucking did that. “I thought even you’d be more responsible than that.”
“God, just shut the fuck up, okay? Like you’ve never made any fucking mistakes,” she shouted back, now with tears in her eyes. Now what? What could possibly be so bad that it justified smoking with a six-month-old in the car? Who the fuck does that?
“Whatever,” I muttered, as she shoved the overnight bag in my direction.
“Just go, okay? Get out of my face,” she said, getting back into the driver’s seat. I rolled my eyes and started walking back towards my building. Once I was upstairs, I set the bag down in the kitchen and sat down on the couch with Jess. I put my ear near her mouth, and she seemed to be breathing normally. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but I kept checking over and over again. The final verdict was that she seemed to be alright, but I was determined to get Jenna to cut this shit out because it was not okay.
I kissed the top of her head and as I did, she managed to grab a handful of my hair, tugging hard.
“Ow,” I gasped, gently removing her fingers from my hair. “That is not okay, miss grabby hands.”
She just giggled, and that smile made my anger subside for the time being.