Sequel: Like a Damaged Nerve ›
The Sailor and the Hawk
It Means Everything
“What’s your sister up to tonight?” Jon asked while we snuggled on the couch, watching a movie that he obviously wasn’t paying much attention to.
“I don’t actually know. I texted her a little bit ago, but didn’t get an answer,” I countered and glanced up at him.
He pressed his lips tightly together and nodded his head. Everything about his expression made my eyebrow rise as I looked on. Slowly, that look faded into a small smile and my gaze hardened towards him.
“What do you know?” I asked him.
“Nothing,” he muttered.
“Jonathan!” I shot at him as I sat up.
“It’s nothing!” he chuckled now.
“Then you can tell me…” I pressed on.
“Kaner just asked her to have a little night like we’re having,” he told me.
“Why would you keep that from me?” I pushed at his shoulder.
“He told me not to tell you!” he said as I pushed myself to my feet.
“I am so angry with you,” I crossed my arms as he stepped to me. Of course he just smiled and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
“She’ll be ok,” he countered pressed a few kisses on my forehead.
“It’s not that I don’t think she won’t be ok… Why would you not tell me anyway? I’m going to be your wife and you can’t tell me things about my sister and one of your best friends?” I huffed and relaxed against his chest.
“But you’re not my wifey yet. I can keep my secrets,” he said in a playful, taunting tone, but… it bothered me.
“Right,” I nodded my head and then stepped away from him.
“Ky,” he called after me as I walked away, knowing I was upset.
I didn’t stop. My feet kept moving until I wandered through our bedroom and into the bathroom. As I closed the door, I noticed that he was right behind me. I failed to close it before he put his hand on it, keeping it opened so that he could walk in. I turned my back to him while trying to hold my tears back. His comment hurt and I really wanted to be alone right now.
“Babe, I’m sorry,” he said and attempted to pull me back in.
“No,” I muttered and turned away.
“Ky…”
“Damn it, Jonny,” I complained and blinked back more tears as I caught the look in his dark eyes. Always been a sucker for those…
“Anything involving the W words are touchy subjects. I know. I’m sorry,” he kept going, referring to the words wife and wedding.
“Then why do you always bring it up? You always use it in ways like you don’t care, and it hurts, Jon. I want to be with you and…”
“I don’t mean to hurt you,” he cut me off.
“But it hurts. How long have we been engaged?” I rambled while slowly turning the ring on my finger around, bringing it up to the knuckle.
Jon’s eyes watched as it went past it. I was waiting for him to reply. Just as I took the ring from my finger though, he reached out and cupped both of his hands over my mine.
“Don’t take it off,” he spoke softly and held my gaze.
“Why? It obviously doesn’t mean anything,” I muttered, having a hard time keeping my eyes locked with his.
“It means everything,” he said with sincerity in his eyes.
“Then make me feel like it does,” my lip quivered as those words passed my lips.
Before anything else could be said, he removed his hands from mine and took my ring from me. Without hesitation, he put it back on my finger, making sure it was on just right before he pulled me in for a tight hug. I gave into this one. He held on to me tightly and put a hand behind me head to make sure no amount of space was between us.
“I just get busy and I’m sorry that it’s you that gets put on the backburner sometimes,” he whispered into my hair.
“Just… talk about it and what you want for our wedding,” I countered, squeezing at his middle.
“I need to,” he confessed, “But this season has an Olympics in it and… I’m trying to put myself in a situation where I make the team.”
“Jonny, you don’t have anything to worry about. If they don’t pick you and make up captain, they’re crazy,” I assured him.
“After all of that happens though, I’ll devote more time to our wedding; I promise,” he replied and ran his thumb under my eye, clearing it of any tears that were still gathered there.
While my smile came over, I nodded my head. Even though I wished we had gotten married yesterday, I didn’t want to put any more pressure on him than what he’s been putting on himself. If he just had told me this before I would have been a little more understanding. Now I feel bad about it… But a year of being engaged is too long without any discussion of our big day! We’ve talked about it now though… and I just have to wait a little longer.
“I don’t actually know. I texted her a little bit ago, but didn’t get an answer,” I countered and glanced up at him.
He pressed his lips tightly together and nodded his head. Everything about his expression made my eyebrow rise as I looked on. Slowly, that look faded into a small smile and my gaze hardened towards him.
“What do you know?” I asked him.
“Nothing,” he muttered.
“Jonathan!” I shot at him as I sat up.
“It’s nothing!” he chuckled now.
“Then you can tell me…” I pressed on.
“Kaner just asked her to have a little night like we’re having,” he told me.
“Why would you keep that from me?” I pushed at his shoulder.
“He told me not to tell you!” he said as I pushed myself to my feet.
“I am so angry with you,” I crossed my arms as he stepped to me. Of course he just smiled and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
“She’ll be ok,” he countered pressed a few kisses on my forehead.
“It’s not that I don’t think she won’t be ok… Why would you not tell me anyway? I’m going to be your wife and you can’t tell me things about my sister and one of your best friends?” I huffed and relaxed against his chest.
“But you’re not my wifey yet. I can keep my secrets,” he said in a playful, taunting tone, but… it bothered me.
“Right,” I nodded my head and then stepped away from him.
“Ky,” he called after me as I walked away, knowing I was upset.
I didn’t stop. My feet kept moving until I wandered through our bedroom and into the bathroom. As I closed the door, I noticed that he was right behind me. I failed to close it before he put his hand on it, keeping it opened so that he could walk in. I turned my back to him while trying to hold my tears back. His comment hurt and I really wanted to be alone right now.
“Babe, I’m sorry,” he said and attempted to pull me back in.
“No,” I muttered and turned away.
“Ky…”
“Damn it, Jonny,” I complained and blinked back more tears as I caught the look in his dark eyes. Always been a sucker for those…
“Anything involving the W words are touchy subjects. I know. I’m sorry,” he kept going, referring to the words wife and wedding.
“Then why do you always bring it up? You always use it in ways like you don’t care, and it hurts, Jon. I want to be with you and…”
“I don’t mean to hurt you,” he cut me off.
“But it hurts. How long have we been engaged?” I rambled while slowly turning the ring on my finger around, bringing it up to the knuckle.
Jon’s eyes watched as it went past it. I was waiting for him to reply. Just as I took the ring from my finger though, he reached out and cupped both of his hands over my mine.
“Don’t take it off,” he spoke softly and held my gaze.
“Why? It obviously doesn’t mean anything,” I muttered, having a hard time keeping my eyes locked with his.
“It means everything,” he said with sincerity in his eyes.
“Then make me feel like it does,” my lip quivered as those words passed my lips.
Before anything else could be said, he removed his hands from mine and took my ring from me. Without hesitation, he put it back on my finger, making sure it was on just right before he pulled me in for a tight hug. I gave into this one. He held on to me tightly and put a hand behind me head to make sure no amount of space was between us.
“I just get busy and I’m sorry that it’s you that gets put on the backburner sometimes,” he whispered into my hair.
“Just… talk about it and what you want for our wedding,” I countered, squeezing at his middle.
“I need to,” he confessed, “But this season has an Olympics in it and… I’m trying to put myself in a situation where I make the team.”
“Jonny, you don’t have anything to worry about. If they don’t pick you and make up captain, they’re crazy,” I assured him.
“After all of that happens though, I’ll devote more time to our wedding; I promise,” he replied and ran his thumb under my eye, clearing it of any tears that were still gathered there.
While my smile came over, I nodded my head. Even though I wished we had gotten married yesterday, I didn’t want to put any more pressure on him than what he’s been putting on himself. If he just had told me this before I would have been a little more understanding. Now I feel bad about it… But a year of being engaged is too long without any discussion of our big day! We’ve talked about it now though… and I just have to wait a little longer.