Legends

For the next days, the guys relayed at Brian's apartment, to keep an eye on him. They tried to keep him sober enough to talk to him.

None of them understood what he was doing. He didn't even try to take her back. He was just drinking and staying high. He hadn't been sober enough time to understood he could have her back if only he tried. But the drugs stopped him from thinking about anything else than having more.

They tried to lock him inside, but he always found a way to go outside, and every time they found him completely wasted. They all started to be really pissed at him.

On her room, Romane barely spoke. The only person she was able to talk about everything was jimmy. He was there for her, and they talked about everything. She missed him, and wondered what all of this meant for them. Were they friends? More? Less? She had never lived things like that, and she didn't know how to react. She wanted to be with Brian. She remembered all the time he took care of her, and a warm feeling filled her up. If she had to had sex with him to be able yo live that feeling again, would she agree? She wasn't sure. Maybe they had to try.

But first, did he wanted to be with her?

~~~~~

It took the guys a week to keep Brian off any drugs enough time to talk to him.
He was sitting on the couch. Matt, Zacky and Jimmy were sitting with him.

"What are you doing, Bri?" Matt asked.

He shrugged, and looked away. He knew what he was doing: he was running away.

"You're fucking everything up."

Brian looked at him. "Already did." His tone was bitter.

"No! You can fix everything! She's waiting for you to come, and talk, she fucking love you! I don't know what you feel anymore, but if you still feel the same, go and be with her! And don't fuck up this time!"

Brian was frowning. "She would never forgive me?"

"Do you really know her?" Jimmy asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, what you mean?" Brian frowned,and the two other too.

"You know how kind she is. And you believe she isn't gonna forgive you? I know she don't even blame you, she blame herself for all of that."

"Wh-what?"

"You've heard me. I've talked with her. She think you went to another woman because she can't be with you the way that girl was. You understand? She think it's because she can't have sex with you so easily than this girl. She blame herself. But even worse, even if described that way you're a fucking asshole, she love you with everything she have." He started getting angry. Romane was like a sister for him,and he wanted to punch Brian to not understood what he was doing to her. "She love you enough to believe she have to become a fucking whore to have your attention! She wonder if she would be able to become one, to be with you."

Brian had his head down. He felt so guilty for all of that. He was fucking stupid.

"Now that your brain works, what are you going to do?" Zacky asked Brian, thinking he would have a discussion with Jimmy to know if what he said was true or not.

Brian was staring at his hand. What could he do? Find an idea.... find a fucking idea, Bri!

"I'm gonna talk to her." With that he stood up and walked to his car.

"Wait, Bri!" Matt shout. Bri turned his head at him. "You should shower, before."

Brian looked at him self. He remembered he hadn't showered since that morning. He smelled alcohol. He sighed and walked to his bathroom.

"Jimmy, please, tell me you lied to make him react. Tell me she don't want to be a whore."

"Sorry Zacky, but that's what she told me. Well, she don't see it as being a whore, but more like letting him do what the fuck he want with her body, so they can be together."

Zacky's jaw clenched. He noticed that Matt's fist did the same. They wanted to punch him.

~~~~

Romane was laying on her bed, Elwin against her chest. She heard people arguing at the front door. She frowned. There were her dad's voice and... Brian's voice?! Her eyes went wide. She stood up, and walked to her door. She was about to walk to them,wham she heard Brian yelling at her dad.

"I just fucking want to see her!"

And before she could came to them.

"Go the fuck away, you've made enough damage!" With that, James slammed the door shut.

"FUCK" she heard Brian screaming angrily outside as he kicked the door.

Romane walked back to her room, wondering what it meant.

For the next two days, Brian stayed inside, alone in his guest room, where he slept since he almost broke his own bed. He was feeling so alone without her. He knew why he started drugs: to erase that feeling. But he didn't touch any drugs or alcohol. Since his body was still asking for drinks, he kept drinking random non alcoholic stuffs. He had opened twitter, and saw she had posted a song, White Blank Page. He opened it, and listened.

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I'm clean, I'm clean

But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart

His head went downer at every word the guy said.

A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the grave, the grave
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections

But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart

Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life

He felt even more guilty.
~~~~~~~~
Romane was still on her bed, thinking about Brian. Wondering what would happen. She heard a toc on her window.

She frowned, and walked to the window. She looked outside. Nothing. She was about to turn around when she saw a little stone hit the window. She frowned. Slowly, she opened the window, to be sure the person wouldn't hit her with the stones. She leaned outside, but she didn't saw anything. She was about to close the window, when she noticed a home made jacket record.*. On it, someone had written "For Ro". She smiled. She looked back outside, trying to spot Brian, but she didn't saw him.

She closed the window. She sat back on her bed, and opened the jacket. On the CD, Brian had written "listen to me -B" with a marker. On the little book on the other side of the jacket was written "Read me when you listen".

Smiling, she opened er laptop, and pulled the CD in it. As she started the first song, she opened the book, at the first page.

"I love that song so much, since you made me listen to it. So much memories."

A wide smile spread on her face, as she recognized Musical Box. She closed her eyes, remembering the night on her bunk.

At the bottom of the page read "wait a little to read the rest! And listen to the whole song, that's cheating!" She smiled.

Once the song ended, she looked at the next page, while Wish You Were Here, by Pink Floyd. She smiled.

"I know this song makes you cry, but don't cry, okay? It's just a song you love, and it's beautiful and... hell, I don't even know why I put it there, but here it is anyway. I really wish you were here." She smiled, the tears in her eyes.

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

She was already tearing up.

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

By the end, she was crying. But smiling.

Then, she heard the riff of a french song she loved. T'es Belle (You're Beautiful), by Volo. Her eyes went wide, and she looked at the book.

"Surprise? I know you are. I wanted to put a french song in this, and I've read the lyrics of this one, since you love it... and it describes you so much that I have to put it there."

You're beautiful when you smile,
You're beautiful all the time,
You're beautiful even when you laugh,
And that we see your teeth

You’re beautiful when you blush
You’re beautiful in any circumstances
You’re beautiful even when you do a rotten joke
To fill in the silence

You’re beautiful when you’re wrong
You’re beautiful when you’re stubborn
You’re beautiful, I realize
Even when you seem stupid

You’re beautiful when you’re angry
You’re beautiful without a lie
You’re beautiful even if, when you’re angry,
It is not the moment to tell you

She blushed hard.

You’re beautiful when you drink
You’re beautiful when you’re wasted
You’re beautiful when you can't walk anymore
And that you don't know how to talk anymore.

You’re beautiful when you sleep
You’re beautiful when you’re snoring
You’re beautiful, that’s what’s so strange
Even when you piss me off

You’re beautiful when you're barely awake
You’re beautiful and I swear
You’re beautiful even when you have been wearing
Your blankets

You’re beautiful even if you reproach me
Of lying to you
But you’re beautiful even when you find yourself ugly
Then I keep it to myself

At the end of the song, she was really crying like a baby.

Once again, the song changed, and she heard the sound of an acoustic guitar. She grinned. Blackbird from the Beatles.

"I know you love that song, too. You told me one day you listened to it when you couldn't sleep. And you also told me that hearing me breathing next to you, or hearing my heartbeats helped you to sleep... since I wasn't gonna recording me breathing -it would be creepy- I made this.**" She drowned wondering what he meant, when she heard it.

He started singing the lyrics. Brian was singing Blackbird to her.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free

She cried even more. She knew he didn't really liked to sing. But she found his voice beautifully and perfect.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise

The next song was also an acoustic guitar. Little yellow Spider, by Devendra Banhart.

"Basically, it's exactly the same explication than Blackbird. But I like this song more. I think it suits you better. It's kind of a song for kid, a cute song for kid. And since you're a kid, I know you love it!"

She smiled like a crazy.

Little yellow spider, laughing at the snow, well, maybe that spider knows something that I don't know
'Cause I'm goddamn cold

Little white monkey, staring at the sand, well, maybe that monkey figured out something I couldn't understand
Who knows?

Well, I came upon a dancing crab, and I stopped to watch it shake
I said, "Dance for me just one more time before you hibernate and you come out a crab cake"

And hey there, little snapping turtle, snapping at a shell
Ah, there's mysteries inside, I know but what they are I just can't tell for sure

"Stop smiling like that!" Brian had written at the bottom of the page. She laughed and blushed.

And hey ya, little baby crow, you're looking kind of mean. I think I oughta spit before you start letting off your steam, for sure

And hey there, little sexy pig, you mated it with a man/ And now you're got a little kid with hooves instead of hands

And hey there, little mockingbird, they sing about you in songs. Ah, where you been? Have you broke a wing? I haven't heard you in so long

And hey there, little albatross, swimming in the air, ah c'mon, you know I can't fly. And I, I think we really oughta play fair

And hey there, Mr. happy squid, you move so psychadelically, you hypnotize with your magic dance all the animals in the sea, for sure

And oh, all of the animals
All of the animals

And hey there, Mr. morning sun, what kind of creature are you? I can't stare, but I know you're there. Goddamn, how I wish I knew

And hey there, Mrs. lovely moon, you're lonely and you're blue; It's kind of strange, the way you change, but then again, we all do too

She didn't recognize the next song. She frowned. Just a guitar melody.

"I was saying -writing- that you're a kid. This sing is exactly about being a kid in an adult world. It made me think of you, so here it is."

Once again, Brian started to sing in her ears.

She smiled widely as she recognized Fireflies, by Owl City.

You Would Not Believe Your Eyes
If Ten Million Fireflies
Light Up The World As I Fell Asleep
Cause They Fill The Open Air
And Leave Teardrops Everywhere
You'd Think me Rude
But I Would Just Stand And stare
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly
It's Hard To Say That I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems

Cause I'd Get A Thousand Hugs
From Ten Thousand Lightning Bugs
As They Tried To Teach Me How To Dance
A Foxtrot Above My head
A Sockhop Beneath My Bed
A Disco Ball Is Just hanging By A thread
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly
It's Hard To Say That I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
When I Fall Asleep
Leave My Door Open Just A crack

He was singing it in a different way. When the original singer made the notes and the words last, Brian just said them. She knew he didn't felt like singing that way, and she found it cute.

Please Take Me Away From Here
Cause I Feel Like Such An Insomniac
Please Take Me Away From Here
Why Do I Tire Of Counting Sheep
Please Take Me Away From Here

When I'm far Too Tired To Fall Asleep
To Ten Million Fireflies
I'm Weird Cause I Hate Goodbyes
I Got Misty Eyes As They Said Farewell
But I'll Know Where Several Are
If My Dreams Get Real Bizzare
Cause I Saved A Few And I Keep Them In A Jar
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly
It's Hard To Say That I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
When I Fall Asleep
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly
It's Hard To Say That I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
When I Fall Asleep
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly
It's Hard To Say I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep
Because My Dreams Are Bursting At The Seams

She looked at her computer. The next song was the last. She didn't recognize it neither. Maybe it was an acoustic guitar song like blackbird or little yellow spider, or an acoustic cover, like Fireflies.

She looked at the book, but there wasn't anything written.

It just started with a guitar playing slowly.

Then Brian's voice started. She recognized Another You, and blushed. Brian didn't sing at all the way the original singer sang it, he was more talking, than singing. But his voice was almost a whisper as he said:

White walls
Filled with nothing
But nervous paces
All around I see.
Something's off
Inside of myself.
I see it in their faces.

He was just saying the word of the two voices, in the same tones, but it was like his voice was full of his feelings. She cried.

For the chorus, he was singing with his strong voice, full of feeling.

Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away,
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another you.
Another you, another you.

His voice went back quiet as he sang the second verse.

I still hear you in this house whispering.
I still feel you in my bones in these veins.
And like the portraits in the halls can't help but think,
I wish you were staring back at me but you're gone.

She knew how much he meant what he was saying through his voice. She was crying. She couldn't help it. He was telling her how he felt.

Once again his voice went strong.

Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away.
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another
I may never find myself
I will never find another you

For this verse, his voice was fragile, almost like he was going to break down in tears. Her heart was running.

So I'll carry you with me in my dreams, my memory.
So I'll carry you with me, you'll always be with me, in my dreams, my memory.
So I'll carry you with me, you'll always be my memory.

He was saying he would never let her go, and she understood it. She held the jacket against her heart.

Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away.
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another, I may never find myself
And I will never find another you

She was crying like a baby by the end of the song.

She sat on her bed in silence. She looked at the book. She smiled, he hadn't say anything foe the last song. But she noticed the book had one more page.

"If you want to give e mother chance, I'll be waiting at the nearest bar, you know the red one."

~~~~

Right after having thrown the stones at Romane, and once she had picked the CD up, smiling with her beautiful smile, he had drove to the bar.

He knew it would take time before she would be there, if she came. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that possibility. She would came. So he knew it would take between half an hour and a hour for her to listen to the CD and to go there.

He had left the CD at seven at her house.

He kept drinking sodas since, and the bartender started looking at him with pity.

He was there for two hour, and he was still alone.

But he was going to wait, what if she came later?

It was now nine, and she was still not there. He had refused the proposition a girl had made him.

Why the fuck isn't she here?!

He couldn't believe she wasn't here. Had she at least listened to the CD?...

He sniffed. No, she was smiling so wide earlier. She had listened.

She didn't like it?

Why wasn't she here?