This Is a Wasteland

My body was shaking and my breathing was jagged. I tried my best to keep it down as he pounded into me again and again. I was exhausted and ecstatic all at the same time.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped, dropping my head against the pillow and gripping the sheets below as hard as I could. I was so close to spilling all over the bed. “Oh God, Kells.”
And then everything just stopped, and I was left hanging.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jaime spat, pulling out of me and rolling onto his back. Catching my breath, I turned to him, panicking a little. I hadn’t meant to say Kellin’s name. Fuck, I hadn’t even seen that kid in a year. Why was I still thinking about him? This wasn’t fucking fair.
“Jaime, I’m so sorry,” I said, biting my lip. “I didn’t mean to, I swear.”
“That’s not the first time you’ve done that- how the fuck are you still hung up on him? I thought you moved on,” he said, sounding grumpy. I mean, he had every right to be. Most people would be grumpy if their boyfriend said another guy’s name during sex on multiple occasions. I felt bad.
Jaime and I had become friends again the summer after we graduated. He apologized so many times for every time he hurt me, and I had grown to be okay with it. I was moving on. We ended up going to the same college as well, and it was in the fall when we started hooking up. Sex with Jaime was good, but it always felt a little off. By winter break, we’d decided to start dating for real. At this point, it was April, and we had maybe a month left of our freshman year of college.
“I have moved on,” I said, quietly, moving in closer to him and placing a hand on his chest. He put his arm around me and let out a long sigh. Despite our differences in the past, Jaime really was a good boyfriend. He took me out on nice dates and was always checking up on me. It felt different being in a relationship with him, but I assumed the weird feeling would wear off sooner or later. I was convinced that this whole thinking about Kellin during sex was just a phase.
“Then stop thinking about other men while we’re having sex,” he told me, turning towards me and tapping the tip of my nose with his finger.
“Of course,” I whispered before he leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back momentarily before I pulled away, still needing him to fix a problem of mine. “If I’m good, will you let me finish?”
Jaime smirked and pressed his lips to mine again before letting his hand snake downwards until it stopped at my dick. He grabbed a hold of it and we picked back up where we started.
---
“What time is it?” I asked Jaime as I pulled my pants back up. We had been in his dorm room, and his roommate was probably due back soon. That and I had to get to work.
“It’s 2:15,” he said, checking his phone
“Shit,” I muttered, quickly pulling my shirt on over my head and running over to the mirror by his dresser. I had to make sure my sex hair wasn’t too noticeable.
“You should hurry, you’re going to be late,” he said.
“I know, I know,” I said, frantically scanning the room. Where the hell did I put my back pack? I found it by the foot of Jaime’s bed and slung it over my shoulder before making my way to the door.
“Are you forgetting something?” Jaime asked. I turned back to him, staring at him curiously.
“Oh!” I gasped, hurrying over to him for a quick good-bye kiss.
“I’ll see you later, Vic,” he said. I said good-bye in return and then practically ran out the door. I knew I’d probably see him later that night again. I took off down the hallway and opted for the four flights of stairs rather than waiting for the elevator. Those always seemed like the better option at first, but I was always out of breath by the end of them. Anyway, I made my way to the parking lot I was in, which, of course, was the furthest one from Jaime’s building.
I threw my bag inside as soon as I opened the door to my car. I turned the key in the ignition and took off. I had a part time job at a clothing store in the local mall. I don’t know why I didn’t just settle for a job on campus, but whatever. It was good to not feel trapped in one little college town, though.
I found a random parking spot and pulled my name tag out of the glove compartment and threw that around my neck before grabbing my wallet and stepping out of the car. I hurried up the aisle and as I got to the front door, I flung it open. And I guess as I was flinging the door open, I didn’t even notice that someone was standing behind the door until I felt it hit something. The person moaned and toppled over. I mean, who the fuck just stands in the way of a door like that.
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” I said, quickly, reaching out to help the guy up.
“No, it’s my fault I’m sorry,” he responded. I froze; his voice sent a chill down my spine. When he stood up and looked at me, he froze, too. Simply seeing him again made me feel like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and stepped on it.
“Kellin,” I whispered.