Iridescent

It was Zoella’s first day back to school in the new semester. Christmas break was over, signaling the beginning of a new year. You’re probably thinking, new year, new Zoella right? Wrong. Every year was the same for her. Silent and prolonged. Christmas was terrible, as usual. Her parents bought her multiple, very expensive presents, things she didn’t really care for, just to coax her into speaking again. But she didn’t, she just wrote them thank you cards, and they were forced to live with the fact that they would never hear sweet nothings slip past their child’s lips ever again.
She walked into school, her bright purple curls bouncing as she swayed lightly. If there was one thing Zoella took interest in, it would be her hair. She dyed it new, vibrant colors very few months. But she always makes sure to use organic dyes, so she won't be bald by the time she’s 30. Before she went on break, it was red with green tips, since it was the holidays. She made sure before returning to school that she would dye it again, so this time she chose a dark purple.
As Zoella walked through the halls, she received many glances, eye rolls, and nasty smirks. She was used to it though. When you’re the weird girl with crazy colored hair and big eyes that wandered around, but you never said a word, people tend to treat you differently. She didn’t mind though, it was just another perk of being Zoella Rickards.
“Jack stop!” Zoella quickly turned her head to see Alex Gaskarth, and his best friend Jack Barakat messing around in the hall. She had a taken a small interest in Alex, but so have many other girls. The only difference was that they all swooned over him because his good looks and the fact that he was in a band, and that was not the part she was interested in. Zoella knew something about Alex that nobody else did. Well, maybe his friends, who were also his band mates, knew because they were all really close. But Alex was a lot more intelligent than he let on. Everyone saw him as the senior who partied, played in his band, and hooked up with numerous girls. And while that was true, he had another side no one knew about. Alex and Zoella basically had the same schedule, with the exception that she had AP English Language 1st period, he had Calculus 1st period. But otherwise, she saw him in every other class period. She even sat next to him in three classes. He would work hard, get A's on practically everything, but nobody knew that but him. And Zoella. But either way it wouldn't matter, because it's not like she would tell anybody.
Last week in their AP Biology class, which she sat next to him in, she saw him writing something a notebook. He was writing very quickly, then he'd get frustrated, erase it just as fast as he was writing, take time to think, then begin writing again. She knew he wasn't taking notes, but she really wanted to know what he was doing. When the bell rang, his friend Jack stood by the door waiting for him, so Alex rushed off to meet him. But he forgot something. His notebook. Zoella quickly looked through it, just to see what he was so intrigued with. As she was flipping through it, all she could do was stare in awe. He was writing songs. Beautiful songs. Maybe his band played one of these at a show already, but no one really listens to the lyrics, they just dance to the music. She heard his foot steps approach the room, and she threw the book down quickly. As she got up and tried to leave, they bumped into each other.
"Sorry." He murmured, looking up to meet her eyes. He didn’t expect her to say anything, but he still looked at her if she was. Their eyes caught each other for a split second, but to Zoella it felt like an eternity. His light auburn eyes widened, waiting for a reaction from her. Meanwhile, her wide hazel eyes just blinked repeatedly, her long eyelashes fluttering as Alex’s fingertips danced across her elbow. To her, it felt like he had actually taken notice of her, and not like everyone else had. But she figured to him, it was just another thing he didn’t think twice about.
The bell rang out as Zoella put the last of her items in her locker, leaving her with her binder for her English class. She shut it behind her, and began to walk to the room. As usual, she was the first one in the room, because she never stayed in the hall to made idle chit chat with her friends.
She sat down at her desk near the front of the room, and began to make small doodles in her notebook. When the tardy sweep bell rang, the rest of the class shoveled in, all taking their seats as they whispered to each other. Their teacher, Ms. Kelley, walked to the front of the room to speak. She was fairly young, about 25 at most. She was short, shorter than most of her students, with long hair that fell to the middle of her back. She was Zoella’s favorite teacher, because she was the only teacher that understood her. She gave her feedback on all her writing, sometimes good sometimes bad, and she actually talked to her, even though she would never talk back. Ms. Kelley didn’t treat her like everyone did, the mute outcast. She treated her like a person. And Zoella really appreciated that.
“Morning everyone.” She said softly, flipping her dark hair behind her.
“Cmon guys, I’m tired too but heads up please.” With that she earned a groan, and multiple people picked up their heads. The thing with Ms. Kelley is that she was not only an amazing teacher, but a nice one as well. People either liked her, or they didn’t care for her. Nobody really hated her.
“Okay,” she announced a bit louder, and clapped her hands for emphasis."I know you’re all tired since we just got off break, so I’m gonna do something really easy for you guys all of this week, maybe next week as well if it goes how I want it to.” The class cheered, obviously happy that this week would basically be a rest week for them. Zoella however, wasn’t very fond of this. She actually loved this class, and she loved to write, so when Ms. Kelley said that they weren’t going to be doing anything, it upset her.
“Alright, alright settle down,” She laughed out, leaning back on the whiteboard. “What we’re doing, is pen pal writing. I know, you're thinking 'oh this is so stupid' but it's really not. This will help your writing, and how you express yourself. And hopefully it'll make you realize that the only way to talk to people isn’t in 140 characters or less." That earned her a few giggles. She smiled, then slid on top of her desk. She began tapping her fingers lightly on the oak wood, awaiting questions or any responses of the sort. A girl from the back of the room spoke up.
“Ms.Kelley, how long are we doing this?” Zoella recognized her voice, that was Leena Mahelona. Leena usually kept to herself, but in her group of friends, she was louder than ever. She was best friends with Alex, along with the rest of his friends, so she could always be found with them.
“Uh, well I want to do this for the rest of the week, and maybe if it goes well, we’ll do it next week too. But that means you’ll actually have to write. No bull. And don’t think you’re the only ones doing this because you’re in AP, all my regular and honors classes are doing it too.” She said sternly, looking at us all with narrowed eyes. Yeah, Ms. Kelley was a nice teacher, but she was also a serious one. She never took bullshit.
Zoella could literally feel her stomach fall to her knees. Writing letters would mean talking to people. Something she still didn’t want to do, or yet alone know how to do.
“Ms. Kelley, who are our partners?” The voice belonged to Shane, a very usually loud and obnoxious boy, but he must have been quiet today due to it being their first day back from break.
“I was just about to get to that,” she replied softly, sliding off her desk. “Thanks Shane. I paired you with my 4th period, because they’re my only other AP class.” Alex was in that class, it was the only class he didn’t have with Zoella. “Alright, I’m gonna go around the room and name everyone off, alright?” She took her clipboard off her desk, and flipped some pages. Zoella sat in the first desk in the second row, so it’d be a few people until Ms. Kelley got to her. This whole idea made her uneasy. Writing to someone she probably didn’t even know, but for sure they knew her, everyone knew her. And not in a good way. She sighed softly, shaking herself out of her thoughts.
“Uh, Gracie, you’re with Sadie Miller.” Ms. Kelley looked at Gracie, who nodded in approval. Zoella put her head down, and figured she’d sit up when Ms. Kelley got to her. A few more names down the line, and it was finally Zoella’s turn.
“Zoella, you’ve got Alex Gaskarth.” Ms. Kelley glanced toward Zoella uneasily. ‘You gonna be okay?’ She mouthed, to which Zoella replied with a nod. But she wasn’t gonna be okay. She already hated the idea of writing letters as it is, but now she had to write them to Alex. She sighed loudly, and put her head back on the desk. Her thoughts swirled around her. Things like, what was she gonna write? And what was he gonna write? This was all too much, she’d much rather prefer a 6 page descriptive paper on a blade of grass.
Ms. Kelley finally got through the entire list, and told everyone to get out paper and start writing. Zoella did as she was told, but she simply stared at the blank piece of paper. She began to tap her fingers softly on the desk, looking into space. She looked up at Ms. Kelley, who was talking to another student, then back down at her desk. She stared at the lined page until her eyesight became sore. The lines seemed to be getting bigger, and everything else smaller. Her head began to throb slightly, and her hands began to shake. She could feel the breaths caught in her throat, as she tried to heave softly to breathe again. Her pencil fell out of her small fingers to the desk. She was having an anxiety attack.
Not too long into her attack, Ms. Kelley quickly walked to her desk. She quietly helped her get up, and escorted her to the door. She walked her into the hall, then poked her head into the room.
“You guys better be writing, or I won’t hesitate to call this off and make you write me a research paper. And I’m not bluffing.” She spoke sternly, then shut the door.
“Zoella, breathe. Breathe.” Her tone changed into a more soothing one. Zoella tried to even her breaths, as she stared into Ms. Kelley’s eyes.
“In, and out, in and out,” she cooed softly, holding both of Zoella’s hands. When her breathing finally seemed relaxed, she let go.
“Are you alright Zoella?” She questioned, looking concerned as she tucked a piece of hair behind Zoella’s ear. Zoella cleared her throat in response, and nodded quickly.
“I like your new hair,” Ms. Kelley’s face softened up, into a warm smile. “Its pretty. Like you.” Zoella giggled slightly, and responded with a smile.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I can exempt you, its not a big deal.” Her face became serious again, as she looked at Zoella. Zoella shook her head no in response. Just because she refused to talk, doesn’t mean that she would get the easy way out of things. Plus, Ms. Kelley already planned it all out, and if Zoella backed out, she would have to give Alex a new partner, which would take a while.
Ms. Kelley sighed, and rubbed Zoella’s shoulder. “Alright.” She mumbled in response, opening the classroom door. All the students were quiet and writing, with the exception of a few whispers, just like they were told.
“Thank you guys.” Ms. Kelley whispered, and made her way back to her desk.
When Zoella sat back down, she immediately got an idea. She was pretty good at writing poetry, and she enjoyed it, so why not write that instead? She wouldn’t be writing actual letters to Alex, just whatever was on the top of her mind. So that’s exactly what she did. She scribbled quickly on the page in neat print.
even flawless toned skin can lose its hue
from the slightest poke
even the happiest can turn blue
and lose all hope
-zoella