What's So Good About Picking Up the Pieces?

(A/N: Read the authors note at the bottom please.)

Kellin’s POV:

Life is such a crazy thing when you think about it. It’s quite a thing to think about, the way that certain people can breeze through it with barely any problems, while others have to fight for their lives every day. Not just in my situation, but everywhere in the world. Here I am, sitting in Vic’s bed almost completely unharmed from a car crash that proved fatal to another person.

I guess you could say karma really is a bitch.

I realized I hadn’t said anything yet, just kind of stared at Vic while thinking about how weird life can be some times. I closed my mouth which had been hanging open a little, and blinked a few times.

Vic just continued to stare down at his hands.

So I did the first thing that came to mind, and crawled out from under the blanket I was neatly wrapped in, moving myself to be next to Vic. He looks up at me, sympathy in his deep chocolate eyes and I shake my head. I don’t want him to feel bad. I lace my fingers with his and lean my head into his shoulder. I think we both needed the time to just sit there in each other’s presence and think. So for the next undetermined amount of time, we sat together with our fingers locked together.

Only he knows what he’s thinking about during this time, I barely know everything I’ve thought about so far. From Nikon being dead to all my hospital trips, all the way to the fact that my mom hasn’t been home in quite a few weeks, and the fact that Vic’s curtains match his bedspread. I guess I needed the time to think.

The silence was nice, really. I enjoyed the comfortable, home-y feeling that Vic’s house had. He had a real family, something that I’ve always envied. My absent father and lack of mother definitely impacted the way I am now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now.

“I’m sorry.” I finally say, breaking the string of silence that had filled the room. Vic glanced at me, obviously confused on why I apologized.

“For?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Everything.” I say simply.

“Explain?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Every detail.”

“Okay.” I say, adjusting myself on the bed. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through since we’ve met. I feel like I’ve been too busy being afraid and worrying about when Nikon was going to kill me to realize what it must be doing to you. You’ve had to take me to the hospital like three times and I barely know anything about you. That’s not how I want to be, Vic. I feel like everything’s been about me and its wrong. I don’t want to be afraid anymore, I really don’t. I want to move on and forget about everything that’s happened. I know I’ll never really forget and I’ll still be fucked up, but I’ll get over it. I’m just sorry for the stress it must have caused you.”

Vic nods and bats his eyelashes a few times at me. “If I wasn’t there to help you, you might not be here, with me, right now."

“I’ll be forever grateful for that, Vic. I know that I don’t have anyone in this world that cares about me. So I guess I’ll change what I said to thank you and I’m sorry.”

“I care about you, Kellin.” Our fingers are still twined together.

“You shouldn’t.” I’m not sure if I believe that he could really care about me. Could anyone care about a messed up kid like me?

“Let me guess, you think you’re too much work for me and you don’t think anyone can ever care about you.” He knows me too damn well.

I just sigh and turn my head away from him, unable to continue to look at him.

“You’re worth every second of my time. If you were too much work I wouldn’t be able to do it. You’re not a broken cabinet or something that I can’t fix, you’re a person. You don’t need “fixing” per say, you just need to be patched up. You need to learn how to love and be loved, properly. You’re the most perfect person I know, and your imperfections make you that way.” I feel him tighten his grip on my hand.

“Now Kellin, tell me about your past.”

---

Some people might say it was too soon for Vic to ask me about my past, but I wouldn’t agree with them. I’m free now, for the first time in two years. I have an amazing person in my life that I’m starting to believe actually cares about me.

Vic isn’t Nikon.

Vic isn’t here to hurt me.

Vic cares about me.

I keep telling myself these things, but I’m still afraid to let my walls down. What do you expect? I’ve been in an abusive relationship for the past two years of my life.

I told him, though. I told Vic every detail I could remember.

And you know what he did? He held me. He held me while I cried. He showed me that he wanted to be there for me.

I’ve finally escaped the grip of the beast, and fallen right into the arms of a certain Mexican boy.