What's So Good About Picking Up the Pieces?

Nikon’s POV:

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” I paced my living room, still wearing the shirt stained with Kellin's blood. Had I really just done that? I hope he’s okay, I really, really do. Kellin really is the love of my life, I just… Ugh, let's start from the beginning.

A year ago, we started to fight a lot. Kellin would bicker and bitch at me all the time, and no matter how loud I yelled, he never got it through his head that I saved him and he needed to listen to me some times.

I grew up in a household with my mother, sister, and my father. I would always hear them arguing, but my mother would always end up listening to my father. He would beat her, I saw it. It went on for years, until he died when I was 15. My mother says she loved him with all of her heart, and she did what she had to do to keep me and my sister safe. I've always been a pretty angry person, and I guess I took it out in different ways than normal people. I never got the help I needed.

I met Kellin when he was just 14. He was a shy boy, small and cute too. His features were soft and his turquoise eyes were to die for. His laugh, the way he would sing or dance and be happy around me was the best thing ever. He wasn't like that until I saved him, though. He was shyer, depressed, actually. He would kind of just look sad all the time. I showed him that he could be loved, and that he was a beautiful person. He started to open up, laugh more, and just be a happier person. I loved it. Anyways, about a year later, he started to change. I didn't like it one bit, he seemed to forget that I saved him and I stayed here all this time to protect him. So I started to use violence, I guess.

Some people might think I’m not a man for hitting my significant other, but I can’t control it. You would think that Kellin would at least show some gratitude to me for saving him, maybe behave himself a little bit. But nope, Kellin always goes about breaking the rules.

That’s where neighbor boy comes in. I don’t even know his name, and I really don’t care what it is. He hangs around Kellin way too much. I don’t think Kellin would ever have the nerve to cheat on me, to disobey me like that, but I needed to make sure he knew I was serious… I…I didn't meant to cut him. That was just meant to scare him! I swear that I never meant to hurt my beautiful baby boy so much. But I did it again, tonight. I cut him a second time.

I never meant to make him bleed, or cry, or hurt. I never meant to break his bones or bruise him so badly that you could see my fingerprints on him for weeks. I never meant for anything to happen the way it did. I promised him everything, a happy life, a nice little house with a white fence, and to get married after we both graduated. I told him we’d adopt kids, have a dog, and live happily ever after. I lied; I can’t do that now… I need help.

I’m going to put an end to this. I slowly reach down to pick up the pocket knife I had thrown on the ground.

I need help. I need help and I need it now. If I don’t get help, I’m going to end up killing him the next time I see his beautiful face. I love Kellin so much that it hurts me. He’s the love of my life, I know he is. But I need this help, and without it, neither of us can ever be happy.

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I walk into the police station; I didn't even bother to change my clothes. The lady behind the door stares at me wide eyed as I slam the pocket knife down on the table and slide it over to the hole in the plastic wall protecting her.

“Uh, hello?” She looks at me confused, and I can see two guards standing next to me, probably to make sure I don’t try anything. A tear slides down my face as I look at the receptionist.

“I did it.” I finally say after a few minutes of silence. “I attacked Kellin Quinn.”

I really hoped that confessing would get me the help I needed, because I know I’m going over the deep end.