Torn

Brady came home around eight in the morning the next day. His normally bright blue eyes were dull, and as he shuffled into the living room, he let out a long sigh and looked up at me, his lips staying in a straight line as he took in my appearance. I was in a large sweater, a pair of jeans, and my combat boots. The normally wavy long brown locks of hair were pin straight, and I had a little bit of makeup on and a light spray of some perfume he had bought me for my birthday a month or two ago.

“How was it?” I asked with a small smile, taking the mug of coffee I had originally made for myself and holding it out to him. As he inspected it, he sighed and walked passed me, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

Without another glance, he sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen and shrugged a little, his dull eyes running up and down me before he lowered his eyes. “Something special going on today?”

“What do you mean?” I whispered, my eyes widening as I took a sip from the mug of coffee in my hands. “I have work in a half hour but-“

“You dress that nice to work at that dump?” Brady inquired, his words slicing through me. Instead of wincing and fighting him that the shop wasn’t a dump, and was actually the nicest, most popular, and cleanest shop on the east coast, I let it slide.

Inhaling slowly, I turned away from the man and placed my mug on the counter, grinding my teeth together as I opened the cabinet and grabbed a granola bar from a box and quickly ripped it open and took a bite to keep myself from snapping at the man.

There were some days, which seemed to be more and more frequent where Brady would come home in a horrible mood. Instead of telling me how his shift went, he would attack me, verbally, on whatever I said or whatever I was doing. If I was sleeping, he would complain I was lazy, if I was heading to work he would criticize my job, and if I was cleaning, he would ask me what felt like hundreds of times what I had done that cleaning the house would make up for. All of those times, I had managed to bite my tongue and just ignore him until he got some sleep and went back to the normal Brady that I had learned to live with.

Luckily today I had work and didn’t have to deal with him any longer than a few minutes.

“I met the neighbor yesterday.” I informed him, my eyes rising to meet his. “He plays for the Penguins, nice guy, he gave me two tickets to the game tonight.”

“That’s a little strange, don’t you think?”

“Not really. He’s a player on the team, I can’t imagine getting tickets to his own game to be very difficult.” I responded, dropping my eyes to my coffee mug as the man I was speaking to rolled his eyes and leaned back a little, his cold eyes ripping thought my skin.

“Who are you taking?”

“I was going to take Skylar, she told me that her and her father used to go to Maple Leafs games all of the time so-“

“I can’t believe you’re going.” He snapped, his hand balling into a fist as he pressed his knuckles into the granite top of the island. “The fucking guy is probably just trying to get in your pants. You never think, do you, Anna?”

Scoffing, I rolled my eyes and turned my back to the man, placing my now luke warm coffee into the sink and dumping the brown liquid down the drain. “I hardly call giving me free tickets to a game trying to get in my pants. I think you just over analyze everything, Brady.”

“Whatever, then fucking go.” He slammed his fist onto the counter as he took his water bottle and threw it against the closest wall. As the bottle hit the wall, the cap flew off and the contents poured onto the floor, creating a large puddle near the hallway that lead to the extra bedrooms and the staircase that lead to our room. Luckily, I had already gathered my things and could make a b-line for the door without having to get close to the puddle or Brady.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my wallet and keys from the counter next to me and walked out of the kitchen, letting my feet softly click against the tiled floor as I straightened my back and held my head high. “I’m going to the game right after work. Make yourself dinner, I’ll be home around eleven.”

“Fuck you, Anna.” He snapped as I walked out of the front door and slammed it shut behind me. Once I was outside, I walked over to the driveway and placed my hands over my face, letting my body lean against the car. Normally, mornings like this wouldn’t bother me, but normally mornings like this didn’t escalate to Brady throwing things at the wall and cursing at me.

Biting down hard on my lip, I was about to get into the car when I heard someone call my name. Inhaling sharply, I turned toward the voice and watched as James sent me a small wave and then walked over to the edge of his driveway, the huge duffle bag that I had watched him leave in the rain hanging from his shoulder.

“Morning!” He greeted, a huge smile adorning his lips.

“Oh hello.” I gave him a tight smile and then unlocked my car, opening the door a little and placing my wallet and keys onto the driver’s seat. “Heading to work?” I questioned, trying to keep a conversation going so that he wouldn’t notice the pure annoyance and seething hatred that I had boiling up inside of me.

Nodding, James informed me that they had a morning skate and then they got to go home and rest for a bit before they headed back to the ice for the pre-game warm-ups and the game. After that, he looked at me for a moment and frowned a little. “You alright, Anna?”

“Oh yeah!” I responded a little too quickly. “Just didn’t get enough coffee this morning.” I swallowed hard, the thought of Brady looking out of the window and seeing the two of us speaking running through my mind. “I have to head to the shop though, I have an appointment with someone at nine o’clock.” I blurted out, my eyes quickly and very obviously scanning over the huge window of my house before looking back at James who had a worried expression smothering his facial features.

“What’s the shop?”

“Uhm, it’s Steel City Ink.”

“Cool, maybe I’ll stop in one day, and check it out.” James joked and sent me a huge smile as he took a step back towards his car. “Anyway, I don’t want to hold you up. I’ll see you later, have a good one, Anna.” He sent me a dazzling smile before turning on his heels and walking to the trunk of his car.

Nodding a little, I swallowed hard and then sucked in a deep breath as I opened the drivers’ side door to my car and slipped in. Closing the door behind me, I quickly shoved the key into the ignition and without putting my seatbelt on, threw the car in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and sped off down the street, trying to clear my mind before I got to work and was drilled with questions by Skylar.



The day at the shop seemed to drag. Laura, the girl that was my first appointment wanted a simple script tattoo on her wrist, which took about an hour to draw out, position, and outline and fill. After that, the door to the shop stayed closed for what felt like hours. Skylar and I chatted about the game that night, cleaned up and swept the entire building, and then when it was all done, we sat behind the front desk, drawing up little doodles of ourselves on the tracing paper and placing them around the shop, giving each other little speech bubbles and filling them with typical remarks we would usually say.

As we laughed and joked with each other, I felt all of the anger and sickness that had entered my stomach this morning over Brady’s tantrum leave my mind. Skylar always had a way of knowing when something was wrong with me, and without even asking, knew how to make me feel better. I had known her for almost three years, and even though it wasn’t that long, it felt like I had known her my whole life.

Once almost everything in the shop had one of our little doodles taped on it, Skylar leaned up against the front desk I was sitting behind and turned to me, her light pink lips pulled into a loose smile. “So, let me hear about this new neighbor of yours.”

“James?” I questioned, blood rushing to my cheeks as I watched the blonde girl smirk at me, her bright green eyes swirling with interest and curiosity. By the way she nodded and looked at me, I knew exactly what she was getting at, and before she could speak, I put my hands up and shook my head. “Nothing like that you sick woman.” We shared a laugh as I pressed my hands into the counter and looked at the skin around my fingernails. “He’s a really nice guy, plays for the Penguins, lives across the street, that’s all really.”

“Is he attractive?”

I paused, my eyes stopping on my ring finger. As they trailed down to the engagement ring that was resting at the base of it, I felt my stomach flop and swish around. In all honesty, James was extremely attractive, but I knew that I couldn’t admit it. I knew that I had Brady, no matter how rude he has gotten lately. I wasn’t the type of person to do anything like that, no matter how bad my relationship was getting.

If we ended it, then….Then?

I nodded, feeling blood rush to my cheeks as Skylar shook her head and clapped her hands a little, her bright white teeth showing as her smile stretched across her face. “You have to get on that!”

“Skylar!” I barked, shaking my head at her. “I am engaged. We are getting married in like a year, I-“

“Did you pick a place?”

“Well, n-“

“A dress? Flowers? Do you have a list of family members to invite? Have you thought about who is going to be your brides maid, your flower girl? A church or-“

“Okay!” I yelled, my smile falling from my lips. “I get it, I get it, we are engaged but nothing’s going on, fuck. That doesn’t mean I’m going to… to cheat on him though!”

Skylar chuckled a little, her smile faltering. “I never said that.”

“Don’t pull this psychological shit on me now, Sky. I had a rough morning and I’m not in the mood for your mind games. Yes, the man is attractive, really attractive but that doesn’t mean anything to me at this very moment in time because I am engaged and I will never be that type of girl.” I finished and took a deep breath as I locked eyes with the blonde and watched her nod a little and then smile back at me.

Just as she was about to speak, the front door to the shop swung open, and as we both looked over, I felt my heart beat rapidly in my chest, pulsing against my ribcage as I locked eyes with the man that had walked in, a bag under his arm, and a bright smile on his lips that matched the brightness of his big blue eyes.

“I’m not stalking you, I promise.” He chuckled, his eyes locking on mine. As I nodded, I watched as Skylar’s lips parted and she turned to me, her eyes wide as she tilted her head a little, giving me the ‘are-you-fucking-kidding-me-right-now’ face that I was so used to getting from her.

Chuckling, I nodded and quickly pulled myself off of the stool behind the counter and walked around to the front, stopping about to feet in front of the man that had a good six or so inches on me. “It’s quite alright, we were just hanging around anyway. Everything okay?” I lifted my eyebrows as James nodded eagerly and then handed me the bag under his arm, the smile on his face getting bigger.

“I was talking to some guys on the team and they told me to get these for you two since it’s your first Pens game.” He said, excitement smothering his words. “I thought it was a good idea, so I figured I would drop them off here instead of at your place. I wasn’t sure if you were stopping home first or whatever, and I… I’m rambling”, he chuckled, his cheeks turning a light pink, “I’m sorry, anyway, I hope they fit, I got mediums.” He finished as his eyes locked onto the bag that I opened.

Pulling the cloth form the bag, I held it up and felt my eyes widen as the piece of folded cloth turned into a jersey in my hands, a huge Penguins logo on the front. The number eighteen ironed onto the sleeve.

“I got one for you too.” He turned to Skylar who instantly went red as he smiled at her. “One is mine and the other is Crosby, it was the only other medium they had off hand. You could wear whichever one, ya’ know?”

“James, this is too much, honestly.” I whispered as I set the jersey down on the counter and looked at the number and last name on the back of the black cloth. “I mean, you really didn’t have to do this, I… This pays for those pastries like ten times over.”

Looking back up at him, I watched as he smiled at me, his bright blue eyes barreling into mine as he shrugged a little, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip as he leaned against the counter, the muscles in his arms showing through the long sleeves shirt that clung to his torso. Examining them, I felt my breath catch in my chest as I dropped my eyes over to Skylar who was openly running her eyes up and down the man, not an ounce of shame in her eyes.

“I’m Skylar.” She blurted out, sticking her hand out toward the man who smiled warmly back at her and shook it. “I’ll take the Crosby jersey, seems fitting.” She mumbled and then grabbed the jersey from the bag and held it up to her. “Are we going to see you after the game tonight or what?”

“Sky, just-“

“I mean, if you guys want to stick around.” His eyes lit up as he looked at me, even though he was speaking directly to Skylar. “Sometimes we go for food after the game if we have a nice break until the next one. You’re welcome to come of course, if that’s alright with your boyfri-“

“Count us in.” Skylar cut the man off, sending him a wide smile as she pulled the jersey over her head and then pulled her long locks of light brown/blonde hair over her shoulders. As she chewed on her lip ring, she looked down at the jersey and then back up at me. “Brady won’t mind, right?”

Looking up at her, I parted my lips and went to speak when I looked over at James, his huge eyes gazing into mine as he awaited my answer. Drumming my fingers against my thigh, I shook my head a little, watching James’ eyes light up with happiness at my answer. With a large step toward me, the man pulled me into a hug, wrapping his strong arms around me for a minute and then let me go, the smell of his cologne filling my senses as I stumbled back, my nerves exploding under my skin from his touch.

“I’ll see you ladies tonight!” He called out and then bid us both a goodbye by name, and left the shop, sending us one last big smile and wave as he walked passed the huge store front window and then out of view.

Once he was long gone, Skylar turned to me and shook her head, her bright pink lips parted as they slowly formed a smile. “I would hate to be you right now.”

Sighing heavily, I felt my body temperature start to drop back down to a cooler state. Skin regaining some feeling, and nerves calming, I sighed heavily and slammed my forehead down against the counter as Skylar started to ramble on behind me.

The only thing I could think about was his eyes, how badly I wanted to keep looking into them. As I thought about him, thought about his arms and bright smile, I started to compare him to Brady. Inch by inch I compared the two, and by the end, after analyzing looks, personality, and every other thing I knew about the two, I felt my blood run cold.

James was hundreds of times better than the man I shared a home with, and I didn’t even know who he was really.

“It’s only a little crush.” I blurted out more to myself than to Skylar. “In a few days it’ll be gone.” I whispered again, trying to force myself to believe it. But as I looked at the blonde, and watched as she smirked at me, I knew I was lying. I was falling for my neighbor.

I was falling for James Neal, and I was engaged to a man that I was starting to hate.