Death Becomes You

I walked into my kitchen and prepared to make supper. There was always a little left over in case my father didn’t eat at whatever bar he managed to peel himself from. Chili seemed like a good dish to make with the wind shifting from summer’s warmth to fall’s chill. The front door squeaked, announcing an arrival, but I could’ve sworn I locked the deadbolt.

“Dad? Is that you?” I called over my shoulder. The door squealed before it clicked shut. “Hello?” My voice echoed through the hallway. I wiped my hands before I went to check the door.

A woman with long honey blond hair that curled around the small of her back stood in my doorway. The dress she wore showed off her lanky figure while the dark bug-eyed sunglasses hid her eyes. A familiar dark coat hung over the crook of her arm. Her foot stamped against the wooden floor creating a tapping sound that nearly drove me insane.

“Who are you?” I asked. Millions of questions entered my mind, and unfortunately the first out of my mouth was the stupidest question. “I mean, how did you get in?’

Her bright red lips parted in a familiar grin before her manicured hands pulled the glasses over her nose revealing those lightning eyes which struck me differently each time I saw them. She threw her coat over the chair closest to her before putting her glasses on the table beneath the mirror in the hallway.

“I think we need to have a discussion.” Her voice practically purred. I didn’t know whether to be appalled that I was still attracted to those eyes, or fascinated that Azrael could be a woman. Another thought occurred as I stared at the beauty queen before me.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t visit me…” I trailed off staring into those eyes. Clouds rolled through them; there might have been a tornado near one of her pupils.

She pulled out a chair before she sat near the stove where the hamburger for my chili simmered. “You are confused about a lot of things, I understand; but you have got to stop looking into my life.”

“Don’t make me punch you again,” I growled. “You know what I want; give me answers and I’ll leave it. I’ll forget you ever existed.”

Her face twisted into an emotion that looked similar to the one I had the day I found my brother lying lifelessly on his bed. I wondered for a moment if Azrael wanted me to forget our time, to forget him. Her shoulders moved upward as she took a deep breath. “I cannot tell you what I do not know.” Her eyes met mine, unyielding in their chaotic storm.

I decided in a split moment that maybe the angel before me was telling the truth; maybe he didn’t know why we were standing here having this conversation, but he did know things I wanted to know. “You don’t know why I can see you…fine! Tell me what happened to my family!”

Her eyes widened for a moment before her nails taped rhythmically on the table. “I’m not supposed to…” her voice trailed off before a series of emotions crossed her face. She stood, looked into the mirror, and sighed.

“Each soul I take has to make a decision. You choose your fate when you arrive.” She turned back toward me, tucking a strand of hair behind her double pierced ear. “Annie, who you considered a sister, chose wisely. As did your mother, but your brother left me with only one option.”

Azrael’s face changed from calm to distraught. She looked nervous as her fingers curled together in front of her, twiddling her thumbs as she continued. “If he waited two days he would’ve died in a robbery at a gas station and had the option. Gold or red. He didn’t wait though, Lane. Your brother went through the dull white door. He’s in purgatory; his option was to take the tests.”

“What tests? Purgatory is like hell isn’t it? What happens if he fails the tests?” Panic filled me. The scent of burning meat filled the kitchen before Azrael moved to take the pot off the burner.

“One question at a time, please!” She moved back to the table, glancing at the chair in front of her.

I nodded, sat, and repeated my first question. “What tests?”

“When a person commits suicide they are automatically sentenced to take twelve tests.” I opened my mouth but she waved her hand. “Don’t ask! I don’t know anything about the tests, just that Selena gives them, and what happens if they are passed or failed.”

“What happens?”

She took another deep breath. “If he passes, he goes to meet my father. If he fails he goes to meet my brother.” She pointed toward the ceiling after saying ‘father’ and down after saying ‘brother’.

Tears swelled in my eyes. I shoved them down before I caught my breath to ask something I’d been wondering since I saw him the second time.

“What do you really look like?” I reached out and touched her blonde hair that felt more like silk.

“Read your story book…” She laughed as she dropped the red leather book on the table in front of me. “It might tell you.”

“What’s it like?” I blurted out before I could stop it. My hand fell from her hair while fear washed over me. Did I really want to know what Heaven or Hell was like?

“The last time I saw my father, Heaven was nothing less than perfect. Last time I heard my brother’s screams, Hell was more than brimstone and fire.” The lightning I thought I saw so often in those eyes made itself known as it flashed while she thought of her brother.

“Is Lucifer really your brother?” Could Azrael really be related to someone so cruel while he seemed exactly the opposite?

Her smile held more sadness than truth while her shoulders slumped. There was a lot of history behind her eyes, behind her smile.

“Azrael, are you still an angel?” My voice was low. Her eyes widened as her mouth opened, but no words came out, no words spilled into the air from her mind. The door squeaked open; I turned toward the sound.

Azrael was gone when I turned back toward the blonde woman.

“Lane, whose coat is this?”