Oliver Thorton

He first went into a state of denial. Who wouldn't? Johanna was known to sleep around with virtually anyone who would dare look her way. How was Oliver to know that she did not simply go with someone else that same morning? Johanna claimed that she had been away at her parents for holiday. Oliver was apparently the last man she had slept with.

Then he got angry. How dare Johanna come to him with this news? The baby might not even be his! Oliver is not a cruel person. He did not mean to make her cry and run from the room. James went to her rescue. Oliver became irate with him as well. How dare he try to sleep with the woman who might be bearing his child?

And then he cried. He cried for his life that was in the crapper. He cried for Carter, who was rotting away in prison, he cried for his brother, who was facing years of school to become something so bland. He cried for Johanna, who would have to spend nine months in discomfort to carry a baby she most likely did not even want. And he cried for the child, who would be born in a world so cruel with parents who could not provide. The poor child did not deserve this.

He apologized to Johanna for his words and his actions. She forgave him and told him what he did not want to hear. 
She would get an abortion…unless Oliver was willing to take the child off of her hands once it was born. She did not want to raise a baby; she was not yet ready. She did not want to send the poor child to a foster home to face the same perils that she had when she had been abandoned. She wished the best for the unborn child in her uterus; she loved it already. Enough to know that it deserved better than this life; better than her. 
Oliver asked for one month to think it through. She agreed to keep it until then, but if he did not answer by that time, she would be rid of it through any means necessary. He then crawled into bed and cried some more. Nothing James could say would revive him from his stupor.

And life would continue. He would go to work, barely. He had gotten scolded by his boss three times for not paying attention and messing up the orders of the customers. He did not find a care in the world. He would smoke two packs in one day and have to go without for a fortnight. He no longer found shame in asking James.

And then he realized that he would have no means to care for a child. He could barely afford to keep food in his own mouth, nevertheless the mouth of a screaming infant. The best thing for the child would be to have it taken care of. For its own well-being…of course. 
James did not think this way.

“What do you mean you’re going to tell her to get rid of it? Are you crazy? This is your child!” Oliver sighed and lowered himself onto their old armchair. “Abortion? Are you kidding me? Why would
you ever?” 
Oliver sighed. He disliked explaining himself. He needed to smoke.

“I am not as rich as you, James. I can barely afford to feed myself! How am I supposed to keep another human being alive?

James would not understand. His grandchildren would never need to work a day in their lives because he was just that well off. It angered Oliver to his core. He would never meet his possibly only child because of money while James picks up dog crap with spare euros. It was unfair. His life was unfair.

“Get that managerial position at the shop!” Was his brilliant plan. Oliver spent twenty minutes explaining how it was not so easy. How others would too be fighting for the same position; those who were better qualified. James would never understand. It was unfair. “You have been busting your arse there for the past two years! They have to give it to you. At least try, mate.” James gave his own sigh, looking suddenly grim. “Look, I think this child deserves a chance, but more importantly, I think you deserve a chance. It has been so long since I have seen you genuinely happy. You might have thought that Carter made you happy, but he sucked the life out of you; even the blind could see that. 


“If you get this job then you can work like a mad man for nine months, save and when the baby is born, you will have a savings and can take a breather.”

James still did not understand.

“And do you know where that savings would go? To a baby watcher! I can’t quit my job after he or she is born and babies are 24 hour responsibilities! I just can’t take it to work with me!”

James grinned. He did understand.

“That is what you have me for!” He stopped Oliver as he made to leave. “Just let me explain. I do not work, I am available 24/7 and I’m free of charge. Plus, I love children. I did raise my sister, did I not?”
 It was true. James had raised his now ten year old little sister when his absentee parents often disappeared.

And it worked. Olive was contemplating keeping the child. James was right. If he did not get the position that he wanted, he could always apply at other shops; there were plenty in the area. If he saved enough, he could afford it. And James was ready and willing. His younger sister had turned out amazing and she loves her big brother. 
Oliver was considering it.

“But that’s just now!” He argued. “I don’t want to raise a child in this neighbourhood and I can’t possibly ever afford to move. And what happens when you finally grow up and want a wife and children of your own?” He had not thought about it until the words left his lips. “What is going to be left of us then?”
 James sighed again, looking quite dismayed.

“Do you never plan on making something more out of your life, mate?” It caught Oliver off guard. His mouth opened and closed immediately after. He did not know what to say. Why would James ask such a question in this tone? “I know that you don't want to work in the shop for the rest of your life. And what about someone to love? Someone to help you raise the baby when they’re grown? Someone to grow old with and live the rest of your days together. Are you finished after Carter? Has he ruined you?”

Oliver did not know how to respond. Someone else? It was much too soon! Not only did the love of his life get thrown in prison, now he has a child to worry about. He had no time to find someone else. And if he kept this child, he never would.

James’s words made him feel like a failure. He truly had nothing else going in his life other than being a shop boy. He had no ambition. No drive. His heart hurt. He knew he was a failure, but he would have never imagined that it was the way others perceived him. 
He began to think thoughts. Dangerous thoughts. Thoughts of how he would not make a good father. A father worthy of raising someone to be a good person. He wanted to work so hard to move from the dump that he called his home. He wished to be forever out of the shop and never have to see the faces of his colleagues. He wanted to be able to see an article of clothing in a store window and not have to worry about what he will have to cut from his expenses in order to afford it. Better yet, he wanted to see that article and be able to purchase it for his child without a second thought. He wanted his child to get the opportunity to go to university if he or she wished. He wished for them to never want. He wished for a better life. But he had blown away his opportunities on a man who had not cared enough.

James was startled when Oliver suddenly moved from his chair. He nearly ran into his bedroom; some things had to be done.



“So you want me to keep the child for you?” Johanna was wringing her hands together over top of her long denim skirt. She looked as if she had been crying again. Oliver wanted to console her and promise her the most support. If she would listen. “Are you sure about this, Oliver? A baby is no small task and I-” Her eyes moved to the window with the old drapes. “I won’t be there, Oliver. After this child is born, I’m moving back to Glasgow to be with my family.”

Oliver knew that Johanna would not stay to be with the child. She had made that blatantly obvious when she first informed him of the pregnancy. 
He searched for the words to say. Nothing came to mind. He had not thought that he would have to speak more than the three words he had when she had arrived, ‘I want it.’

“I know that right now it may not seem as if I have my life quite in order and I don’t, but-” He searched for the words that were begging to form. “I want to be a better person. I have never had any reason to try to be anything in my life. I was planning on being a shop boy until the day that I died, but then I started thinking about the baby. I want to give it things. Things that he or she doesn’t need, but wants, without having to worry about if there will be enough money left over for food the next day. I don’t want to live my life like this anymore.”

To Oliver, the conversation felt like a work interview. He hoped he was good enough because ultimately, this was Johanna’s decision. If she did not like Oliver’s answers she could do whatever she wanted to the baby. And he would have no say. It was her body, after all.

“How do you plan on doing that?” Her voice was quiet. But she had seized wringing her hands. “You need money for a baby and you would have to work so much. Where are you going to leave it? With a baby watcher? You money will be flushed in days!”

Oliver restated the conversation he had had with James just a few hours prior. He was pleased with himself. He had thought these things through. She saw that as well.

Johanna was a good girl who was adopted into a good, loving family – after many failed attempts. She made bad friends. She would have never seen herself in this situation years before.

“You really want this baby?” Oliver nodded, slowly but surely. Johanna gave a small, watery smile. “Alright, I will continue with this for you.”

It was then that Oliver realized the sacrifice that Johanna was making for him. Her body would be stretched and reshaped. A living being would be kicking and tormenting her day in and day out. She would be nauseous and have cravings and not be able to see her feet. She would go through all of that to ensure that her child went to a good home. She loved her baby. She was regretful that she could not keep it. But she loved her child already. It was not a sacrifice for Oliver so much as a gift for her unborn child.

“If there is anything that you need, and I mean anything, you just call me or send me a message or yell, if you want. I will give you anything you wish! Food, company, clothing!”

This was all, of course, going to be generously donated by James. After Oliver told him that he would attempt to get Johanna to keep the baby, James had been over the moon. He immediately offered to pamper her to the best of his abilities while Oliver worried about work.
 Oliver could not have asked for a better friend. He had not even thought of James as that great of a friend. He was glad to have moved in with James of all people when his life was nearly ending.

After Johanna left later that night after Oliver graciously offered to cook supper for the three, the two friends slid together onto the couch. It finally sunk in to Oliver…he was going to have a baby.

“I know!” James beamed. “Isn’t it great? I am so excited for this.”

And James would be. He was not the father of this child. When things got out of hand, he could simply walk away and never look back. Oliver would have to deal with it until adulthood. God forbid it was a girl; then he surely would not know what to do with it.

And the doubt began to infest. Would he honestly be able to handle this child? It would be depending on him for a minimum of eighteen years! If it was a girl, how was he supposed to talk about breasts and periods and hormones? It was then that he realized that he needed some female friends. Just in case.

What if it didn’t like him as it grew older because of his incompetence? He was never good at school work and it has only gotten harder since when he last took it himself!

And then what? Would he need to become friends with school instructors as well?

James pat him on the back and bid him farewell. He would enjoy his last few moments of freedom before the baby arrived.

Oliver took a few deep breaths. He realized that if he continued having those thoughts, he would call Johanna and tell her that he changed his mind. He knew he would regret that decision for the rest of his life. 
He would take things one at a time. Whatever came first was the main priority. And first came the promotion; he would need that job.



“Why do you feel that you deserve this position more than anyone else?”

Oliver disliked interviews. He disliked telling people wonderful things about himself that were mostly untrue; he disliked being put on the spot and made to think of answers that made no difference to his or anyone’s life. But this interview, he tried. He wore his best shirt and James purchased him a new pair of khakis. His hair was clean and styled and he was wearing some of James’s fancy cologne. He
did not feel like Oliver Thorton that day.

“Well I have been working here for two years and I feel as if I know the customers and coworkers very well. This store is constantly changing and I feel that it is best to have someone who knows the layout and has been here through the monumental times in order to handle changes.”
Oliver knew he was rambling about nothing of importance. But he did not know the answer. He did not deserve the position more than others; he just wanted it really badly. He would not dare say that to his higher up though. “And I have a new baby on the way and I decided to be a better person and to have life goals for my child. I want to be someone he or she can look up to and be proud of and I wish to be able to give him items of his or her pleasure.”

He instantly regretted speaking of his child. He did not want this balding man to know of his personal life. 
The balding man did not seem to care too much either. He had not smiled once since the beginning of the interview. Simply wrote. Oliver was curious as to how he was doing.

It was not long after that he was sent on his way. It had been an off day for him, so he returned home. There he found James covered in dust.

There was only two bedrooms in the flat and they were both getting a thorough clean down. The baby would sleep in Oliver’s room; he was changing rooms with James.

Because James had the most money, he had called the biggest bedroom when the two men first moved in together. Oliver had not cared at the time, but with baby furniture being added soon, there needed to be a change around. James did not even seem to mind. He was nothing if not fair. He knew that he had no use for the bigger bedroom even if he did constantly have many women at the flat. 
But that was all changing. Since Oliver had left that morning, James had taken to emptying out both bedrooms into the living area and clean up a bit. Oliver had never seen him like this. So maternal. It was endearing, really.

James wiped beads of sweat from his forehead as Oliver crossed him. He had never worked so hard in his life. All for a child that was not even his. But that was the thing about James; he cared much for others and refused to see anyone hurt if he could help. Finding out that Johanna had been pregnant, the first emotion to cross James was guilt. He had known what she would say – about not being able to stay with the child – and he had anticipated Oliver’s answer. All because Oliver did not come from money.

Why did James deserve to have money and a better life than Oliver - who had done no wrong? It was the reason that James decided to live in the home that he did, in the neighbourhood that he was in. He could have more, but he never felt that he deserved it.

James sent a smile to his friend and took a large swig from the water in his hand.

“So I called Arthur and a few others to come help. We’re painting the room a soft yellow colour, or perhaps a soft green. I feel that the baby would be better suited in a room of that colour instead of the bland white that it is now.”

Paint? Green? Yellow? Since when? Oliver was thoroughly confused. From the slack expression he wore, James did not find it hard to interpret this. And he knew what Oliver would say…

“Paint? With what money? I am not having you spend your money on me and my problems, James. You can forget it. Call them and tell them that the room will be painted when I am ready to afford it myself and not a moment before. Understood?”

James would nod his understanding and he would feign being hurt and pretend to argue. And he would sulk into the empty bedroom and act as if he was calling Arthur or one of his other friends to cancel the paint order. But he would not. James did things because he felt as if he could and paint was not expensive. Oliver would simply have to live with it and move on. It wasn't as if James was giving him much of a choice on the matter anyways.