You Put the Spike in My Heart

They arrived at their destination just short of three in the morning. Bailey was donning a jacket before the bus had stopped moving. Grabbing up her bag, she decided to wait at the door (much to the annoyance of the driver). She looked back to the couch where Gerard was the only one awake besides her.

"Where are you off to so quickly?"

She held up a pack of cigarettes.

"Smoke."

"And that's the...twentieth pack you've gone through tonight?"

She glowered at him. He had meant it to be funny but apparently she wasn't in the mood for jokes. The bus doors opened and she was outside before he could blink.
Bailey stepped out into the cool night air and it hit her in the chest like a ton of bricks. The smells, the sounds...just the aura of the place gave her familiar chills. She had frozen to a stop just outside the door and she felt like she couldn't breathe let alone take another step.

"You okay?"

She whipped away from the hand on her shoulder, almost falling over in the process. Her legs felt leaden.

"I'm fine."

Gerard frowned. She was back to her bipolar state, something he had all but almost forgotten. She walked away from him a few steps and sat down, obviously needing some space. She lit a cigarette for what seemed like the millionth time that night and didn't even look up when Frank noisily came into view.
He nodded to Gerard, putting his arm around Bailey's waist after sitting down next to her. He squeezed her into a hug even though she noticeably stiffened at his touch.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm doing fucking fantastic."

Her eyes didn't leave the encompassing darkness as she pulled up the hood on her jacket and hunched forward. Frank took the hint and stood up, obvious worry written all over his face.

"Maybe you should get some sleep. You have a long day ahead of you."

"I can't. I'm waiting for my taxi to get here."

"Bailey, you have six hours until you have to be there."

"Don't you think I know that?"

Her eyes flared as she stood up and put out the cigarette beneath her sneaker.

"Don't you think I've been counting down the minutes?"

Frank dropped his head and nodded but Bailey lifted his chin back up with a finger. She struggled to keep her tone warm at best.

"I have some things I have to take care of, okay?"

And then the taxi pulled up, casting an eerie light on all of them. Bailey hugged Frank shortly.

"I'll be back to pick you up. Please be ready."

She went straight to the cab, not waiting for an answer. Gerard walked up to Frank as the taxi pulled away and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"We shouldn't have come here, I don't know how to help her."

"I...may have a couple of ideas."

Frank turned to look at him, surprised.

"Come with me, I want to run a few things by you."

~*~

The taxi ride was shorter than she would have hoped. She had spent endless hours trying to figure out how she was going to live through the day and came up lacking. Her head was pounding from the lack of something toxic in her system, but she couldn't show up to see her father in an influenced state. He would know what she had done the moment she walked in the room. She couldn't afford to let him have that kind of pleasure - to see that his little girl had turned out to be just like him. Her stomach lurched at this thought.

Daddy's little girl.

"Cemetary gates don't open for another five hours, miss."

Bailey was aware of the cemetery hours. Resisting the urge to tell him that she didn't have five hours, she handed the driver some money. Without a look or an explanation she exited the cab and waited for him to leave.

Entering was simple enough. She threw her bag over the tall, foreboding fence and slipped easily through the bars. Bailey muttered under her breath as she went on her way, something about being far skinnier than she was a month ago. It was still pitch black outside but she didn't stumble even once, walking through the cemetery flawlessly like she had so many times before. It was a few short minutes until she stopped, immediately coming to her knees in front of a grave.
She smiled sadly as she brought her hand up and traced the etching in the stone. She placed her head atop the smooth surface and it felt like heaven against her feverish skin. Cold and familiar.

"Hello mum."

She turned around to sit more comfortably, setting her back against the grave.

"I don't know what to do. I'm lost."

She closed her eyes and set a hand beside her, tangling fresh grass between her fingers to keep her grounded.

"I need some strength for the day ahead, I just can't find it in me. I don't want to let him walk all over me. I'm tired of it, mum. I'm exhausted."

A slight breeze picked up and surrounded her for a moment before disappearing as quickly as it came. She sighed as a few tears escaped, rolling down her face.

"I wish you were here. I need you. You're the only one who can help me. Tell me what to do..."

~*~

A loud and insistent knock came from the bus door. It became louder and more rushed before Gerard could reach it. When he opened the door he almost fell back in surprise.
Bailey was almost unrecognizable. Black covered almost every inch of her body. Knee-high leather boots were laced up over skinny jeans and the sleeves of her fitted long sleeved shirt were pulled tightly over her hands. Thick liner rimmed above and below her eyes, accentuating the green fire beneath. The only thing identifiable was the red hair, and even that was deliberately curled and styled. It all suited her a little too well, leaving Gerard forgetting how to breathe.

"Gerard, did you hear me?"

All he could manage was to shake his head.

"Tell Frank he has five minutes or I'm leaving without him."

He was broken from his trance as soon as she left the doorway - but it wasn't her absence that had triggered it. It was the tone in her voice, the way she had so confidently walked away...
He had a feeling there was a whole new side to Bailey he would be seeing today.

Two minutes later there were two people entering Bailey's grey hatchback. Bailey looked from Frank in the back-seat to Gerard in the passenger seat in annoyance.

"I don't have time for games today, boys. Gerard?"

"You never said I couldn't go."

"I never said you could, either."

Gerard felt intimidated under her stare. Maybe it was the new look...maybe it was the new attitude. He mustered the best puppy-dog face he could, sticking out his lip. Bailey glared.

"Aw, come on Red."

Bailey melted. She didn't know if it was the nickname or the pleading look he gave but she couldn't help but relent. But was she going to let him be aware of that kind of power? Please.

"Fine. Your funeral."

He rolled his eyes as she started up the car and headed down the road. The drive on the way to the jail was mostly silent until Frank let out a random giggle from the back seat.

"I just realized what you're doing."

Bailey smiled at him wickedly through the rear-view mirror.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Franklin."

"Am I missing something?"

Gerard looked at the pair like they were nuts. Bailey shrugged but Frank proceeded to explain.

"Bailey's plan is to make this as short of a visit as possible. As I'm sure she's already told you, her father hates me. He's never liked her hanging out with me, thought I was a bad influence because she would always try and dress like me when we were younger. Well, whenever her dad wouldn't let her leave the house, she would do anything and everything to make him as annoyed as humanly possible. Like dressing like she is now, or just acting like a complete punk. He would eventually kick her out of the house."

Bailey sighed almost dreamily at the memory.

"Hopefully he'll be so disgusted by the way I look that he'll throw a fit and we can leave."

Gerard shook his head. Frank couldn't stop smiling, glad to see part of the old Bailey shining through the ruins.

~*~

When they arrived at the jail, Bailey leaned against the outside of her car and lit a cigarette. Frank got out and looked at his watch and then up at her in confusion.

"Umm...Bailey-Face?"

She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You have one minute until visiting hours."

She smiled back at him before taking a slow, soothing drag on her cigarette. Gerard had to look away. He never knew smoking could look so sinful. Frank came to the other side of the car and stood in front of Bailey.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Franky, you worry too much."

"But -"

She grabbed his bottom lip.

"Shut up, you're going to give yourself a hernia."

He licked her hand so she would let go, which she wiped on his shirt before jabbing him in the stomach. Frank went to retaliate when Bailey's phone rang. Again she smirked, holding it out and letting it ring. She punched the speakerphone before answering.

"Hi, daddy."

"It's 9:03. Where are you?"

Bailey bit her lip, stifling a laugh at the way her father was trying to control his temper.

"I'm outside the jail smoking a cigarette, but I'm almost done. Should be in soon."

"Excuse me, young lady?"

"You know, you can probably stop calling me young lady. I happen to be an adult now, old man."

Frank's eyes widened and grabbed her wrist, but Bailey shook him off. The other line was silent for a few moments. When Mr. Taggart spoke again his voice was shuddering with anger.

"Bailey Taggart. Get your ass in here now."

"Okay, I'll be just another minute."

With that, she snapped her phone shut and put her cigarette out on the pavement.

"Don't you think that was going a little far?"

She ruffled Frank's hair before taking his hand. He noticed her grip was almost completely rigid. When he looked back into her face it dawned on him - she was scared to death. She had let her guard down for a moment to let him know but then wiped away all traces as she motioned to Gerard.

"Let's go."

She grabbed Gerard's hand with her free one, took a wavered breath and led them into the front office.

"Little Taggart! Long time, no see."

One of the officers at the desk greeted her and she offered him a friendly smile.

"Five minutes late. You trying to make him fly off the handle?"

Bailey laughed and leaned across the desk.

"You're right. Let's not give him a heart attack. Can I go in?"

"Come with me."

The officer led them into a back room. Bailey left Frank and Gerard behind the glass window of the visitor's room, squeezing both of their hands before entering.
Her father looked healthier than he had in his whole life. In jail, he was forced to stop drinking. When she had first started to visit him he had looked gaunt and wasted. She sat down and crossed her legs, smiling at him politely. Mr. Taggart sneered at her appearance, that and probably the fact that she wasn't cowering before him.

"Took you long enough you disobedient little -"

"Watch it!"

One of the guards shouted across the room at him but Bailey lifted up a hand.

"It's okay. I'm fine."

"Why do you insist on dressing like that? You look like death."

She mumbled something under her breath about feeling like death.

"What's that?"

"I dress like this because I like to."

"Who are the little punks you brought with you?"

"You remember Franky, don't you? Well he's the one with the piercings and tattoos, the other one is Gerard. They're in one of the bands I'm touring with."

Bailey pointed them out and Frank waved enthusiastically to them both causing Mr. Taggart to clench his fists.

"You dating one of them?"

"Frank's engaged. I told you that a long time ago. Gerard on the other hand..."

Bailey turned her head to the window again and blew Gerard a kiss. She had to resist from laughing when he sappily pointed to his eye, his heart and then at her. Brilliant. She would have to thank him for that later.

"So you're driving across the country with a bunch of men and your punk boyfriend, leaving your father here to rot. Sounds a lot like your mother, the little - "

Bailey slammed her fist on the table.

"That is enough."

Mr. Taggart was taken aback by her actions, but he smiled slightly to himself. He knew that Bailey was only acting polite and nonchalant to get to him. Two could play that game, he had no doubt whatsoever that he could make her lose her temper.

"Now, why don't you tell me why I had to come visit you so I can leave."

His face flared crimson.

"I told you to bring money to bail me out."

"And I told you that I don't have that kind of money."

"Why don't you get that bastard brother of yours -"

Bailey slammed her fist on the table again, only this time she stood and knocked her chair over.

"I told you that's enough!"

Her father stood too, not backing down even though he was shocked by her outburst.

"When are you going to grow up and learn that your brother was born from your mother tramping around -"

As if she hadn't made it apparent enough through words, Bailey had obviously had enough now. She grabbed her father by his shirt and looked into his eyes, full of hatred.

"You want to know the truth, daddy?! I think you deserve to stay in here for the rest of your life! I believe you got off easy! I hope you never get out, in fact...I hope you rot in here."

Guards had come to separate them but Bailey lifted her hands in surrender and escorted herself out. Her father was shouting behind her but she didn't hear any of it. She walked out of the building, not waiting for Gerard and Frank but they weren't far behind. Frank grabbed her arm and she stopped.

"Bailey -"

"Franky, I'm fine. Sheesh. Can't you see that?"

Frank gave her a skeptical look as she fished in her pockets for a lighter.

"Then why are you crying?"

She stopped short. She hadn't even noticed. The tears were flowing down her face and then she was aware of her limbs starting to shake.

"What?"

She didn't know why it was happening. She must have had so much adrenaline running through her system that she went numb for a few minutes. She wanted to stop but she couldn't. Her vision started to get blurry and her body grew light. The next thing she knew, there were a pair of arms supporting her. She looked up into Gerard's concerned face and smiled.

"I...I think someone else should drive my car."

A smile broke out on his face but the worry was still there. She felt herself being lifted into the car. Gerard lay her across the back seat and set her head in his lap.

"I'm proud of you."

The words seemed far away, but they definitely came from Frank.

"Thanks Franky."

It's what she tried to say but it came out in less than a mumble.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She didn't sleep last night, and this situation took a lot out of her. She just needs some rest."

Bailey reached up until Gerard gave her what she wanted - his hand. She squeezed it firmly and smiled.

"Thank you for coming with me."

She could feel his lips at her ear. His breath warm, making her skin tingle.

"Any time. Get some rest."

She smiled once more before everything went black.