Please Come Home For Christmas

I slammed down the box of Christmas ornaments in frustration, completely fed up with the hooks stabbing my thumb as I pulled them out. This wasn’t how I had imagined my night going at all, and I was ready to call it quits on the whole Christmas decorating thing. Jaime was supposed to be home two hours ago to help me decorate, but I hadn’t heard a word from him since he sent me a text telling me he was going out for a few drinks with Tony. I should’ve known better to believe him when he said he’d be home in time to help me decorate. I glanced at the clock that read 9:45 and sighed. I kicked the box of ornaments back against the wall, hearing a few of them shatter as I did. I made my way towards the bathroom in our small apartment and ran the water, hoping a nice hot shower would help to calm me down.

After I got out and got dressed, I checked my phone, still hoping to hear from Jaime. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the message icon, but felt it drop all over again when I saw that it was just a message from my friend, Adeline. I ignored it and set my phone down, not wanting to have anything to do with anyone. I made myself a strong drink in the kitchen and sat down on the couch, flipping through the channels and searching for something to watch.

This wasn’t the first time Jaime had done something like this, and that’s what upset me the most about this entire situation. He was constantly blowing me off for his friends and promising to make it up to me later, and then he never would. It was the same old thing day after day, and I was starting to get fed up with it. He wasn’t the same Jaime I fell in love with a few years ago, and to me it hardly seemed to me that he even loved me at all anymore.

I wiped away the tears in my eyes that hard formed while thinking over everything and took two drinks, one drink for thinking about it and another drink for being weak. I finished the drink quickly and got up to make myself another, but instead of making one, I grabbed the whiskey bottle and took it with me back to the couch, taking swigs straight from the that. Soon enough, I was completely wasted and numb to the pain I had felt earlier. While my heartbreak was fading away, the anger dwelling inside was only growing larger and larger. I saw a little glass snowman figurine that was sitting on the coffee table and picked it up, admiring the tiny details that were put into it. Remembering that Jaime was supposed to be here with me to set it up, my grip on the figuring tightened, and I threw it against the wall, smashing it to pieces. I picked up several more figurines and repeated the same process, smashing them and throwing them, screaming as I did so. Too soon, I was out of figurines to break and I sank back down on the couch in tears. I sobbed quietly to myself and pulled my blanket up over my shoulders, closing my eyes and letting it all out. After the tears ran dry, I slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking about a time where we were both still happy and in love.

~~~~~~~~

The door slammed shut, waking me up from the deep sleep I was in. After looking around confused, I realized I was still lying on the couch in the living room. Jaime came stumbling in through the doorway and leaned against it to steady himself. I sat up, looking across the room at him standing there. Silence sat between us for seconds before he finally spoke up.

“What are you doing on the couch?” He asked, his speech incredibly slurred. He looked around the room and saw all of the broken figurines lying on the ground. “What happened here?” He mumbled out, still looking around the room.

“I got tired of waiting on you. You were supposed to come home and help me decorate, remember?” I snapped at him angrily. I got up off the couch and threw my blanket down before storming into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I still felt quite a bit buzzed, and I was hoping that some water would help with the dizziness I felt at the moment.

“That was tonight? Oh shit baby, I’m sorry. Tony wanted me to-“ He began, following me into the kitchen. I turned around and looked straight into his wide, glossy eyes and cut him off midsentence.

“Save it, Jaime. I really don’t care what your fucking excuse is tonight. The fact is you weren’t here, and you can’t make up for that. You’re drunk, just go to bed. We’ll talk about it in the morning.” I went to turn away again, but he grabbed my wrist and spun me back around. I looked at him completely shocked, and it must’ve shown quite well because he dropped my wrist immediately.

“It’s not another fucking excuse, if you’d just let me explain…“ He pleaded, pouting at me. I grunted in disgust and took a step back from him.

“If it’s not an excuse, then what the fuck is it? Because honestly, Jaime, I’m sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. If you want to spend all of your time with your friends, then fucking do it, but don’t fucking tell me that you’re going to make it up to me when we both know you’re not. I’m sick of you getting my hopes up. I’m sick of being lied to.” I turned away from him and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, pouring myself some water and drinking it while he stood in the doorway, shocked at everything I had to say. Suddenly, his eyebrows creased and he looked up from the ground to me.

“Well I’m fucking sorry that I like to have a good fucking time with my friends every now and then. I can’t cater to all your fucking needs all the fucking time! I need some time to myself too!” He said, his voice rising in the middle of the sentence. I slammed my cup down on the counter, the glass breaking as I did and cutting my hand in several spots.

“This isn’t about you having time to yourself, because I have no problem with that! I have a problem with you backing out on our plans and canceling them, or not even calling at all to let me know that you’re not going to be home to help me decorate our fucking apartment together, like you fucking promised a week ago! I have to go months without seeing you, Jaime, months! And when you get back, this is what it’s like! Every time, without a doubt! I’d like to see my boyfriend now and again before he’s whisked away for another tour! I’m sorry that I love you!” I screamed at him, ignoring the throbbing sensation in my hand. I realized I was breathing heavily and grabbed onto the counter with my good hand, trying to calm myself down. His gaze wandered down to my bloody hand, and he took a step towards me, his hand reaching out for me. I withdrew from his reach and pulled my hand back defensively. “No, Jaime. Leave me alone. Just go, I don’t want to see you right now. It hurts me too much to see what you’ve become.” Pain flickered across his face and his voice shook as he spoke.

“I’m not going anywhere baby, I’m not leaving you.” I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was being sincere, but I just wasn’t going to have it. At this moment, I wanted nothing to do with him.

“Fine, then if you won’t leave, I will. Don’t come after me and don’t bother calling me, because I won’t answer. I need to be alone right now.” I crossed the door frame into the living room and picked up my purse and keys. I walked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut and taking off down the stairs, reaching the parking garage in no time and found my car. I quickly hopped in and started it up and pulled out of the garage, taking off down the street and onto the high way with no destination in mind.

My phone began to ring and I pulled it out of my jacket pocket. Seeing it was Jaime, I hit ignore and sent him straight to voicemail. I realized that I was going well over 80mph, but I didn’t really give a shit. My phone pinged, signaling that I had a voicemail, and after debating with myself, I decided to play it. As Jaime’s voice began to play through the speaker, I looked up from my phone to see a pair of headlights coming straight at me. Too late to swerve out of the way, I crashed into the oncoming car. I watched as everything played out in slow motion. I banged my head against the steering wheel and my car flipped twice before stopping upside down in the middle of the high way. I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, and the last thing I heard before everything went black was Jaime’s voice through the phone.

"…I’m just so sorry baby. I love you so much. Please come home."