The Aftermath of a Misunderstood Girl
Prolouge: Angel's P.O.V.
I quietly walked down the halls alone searching for my friends. I sat down between Lexie and Scarlet quietly since they had been here before me. Last night had been one of the worst in months. Another fight in the family. The hurtful words were still ringing in my ears. “You have a legitimate eating habit Angel….” “You wouldn’t even care if we died would you!?” “You don’t appreciate any of the things we’ve given to you do you!”
I winced as Lexie poked me in the side. “Angel, try this protein shake. Its really great” she said holding it out to me. “Alright” i said quietly taking it. I took a sip and she was right. It was really good. “Wow, thats amazing Lexie” I smiled. She set it back next to her and went back to working on her algebra homework. I leaned my head back against the wall and listened to the morning babble. “Angelllllllllllllllllllll” I heard someone say. I opened my eyes and smirked seeing Alice. “Hey wolfie” i said. She smiled and we talked about her newest boy toy D.J.
“He’s so amazing!” she said laughing. I faked my laugh with her but she could hardly notice. “So how was your night” she said in a joker voice. I smirked again. “And here we go” i replied laughing. It felt good to smile for real. “I’m just a bit tired . Long night” i said. It wasn’t entirely a lie…… The bell rang and I walked to my locker exchanging things for my classes and walked into homeroom. I sat in my assigned seat and started working on my extra credit art project.
The rest of the day was pretty mellow. That is, until algebra. The thoughts of last night had been eating at me all day. I sat at my seat and did the bellwork thinking of the fight. I ran my hands into my long blonde hair putting my head down. A few people starred including my ex. The kid sitting in front of my gently touched my shoulder. “Angel are you okay?” he asked. I didn’t answer. Not out of shame or embarrassment, but i had started to cry. Song lyrics from Death of Me by Asking Alexandria ran through my mind. ‘Am I insane? Am I insane? Am I insane? The devil came to take me to Hell but I’m already there…’ I suddenly felt a large hand on my back. “Angel please go to the counselor’s office” Mr. Swanson told me. I nodded quickly bolting down the stairs.
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I sat in my room sobbing as I listened to my parents and sister screaming at each other. My stepfather had called us to help with my younger sister. By the time i had put down my homework and Caren and i simultaneously walked into the living room it was apparently too late for our help. “No i don’t want to look at either of your faces right now” he hissed at us. I took the hint walking away but my sister stood her ground. “Well sorry but I don’t really want to fail History and i don’t think Angel wants to fail algebra!” she screamed. It was all I had heard before bolting back into my room and turning my music up.
I whimpered standing up. I wasn’t going to eat dinner tonight. No one would. I sang softly to myself trying to calm myself down but it wouldn’t work. A soft wail escaped my lips as i slid to the floor. Names i had been called, all the mistakes I’d made throughout my life, things my friends and family had done to me. All the horrible things i had been suppressing for years were being bombarded at me at high speed. I sat up not being able to take it anymore. I grabbed my phone closing out of the texts i was getting and dialed his number. “Hello? Angel? What is it?” Johnny asked. Johnny was my ex and closest friend next to Alice. “Johnny….I-I wanna d-die!” I sobbed out. “Angel, just calm down. Tell me what happened. It can’t be that bad. Please just don’t do anything stupid” he said calmly. I sputtered everything out to him. He only listened and i imagined, he was trying to think of something to say. “.....a-and that’s really it” i said finishing. By the time i had finished I’d picked my nails to the stub and my eyes were raw from crying. “Alright Angel everythings going to be okay. Don’t do anything stupid. You’ll regret it later on. Nothing’s ever as bad as it seems” he said trying to calm me. But even he couldn’t do it.
“I-I can’t d-do it anymore J-Johnny…..I-I can’t go on…” was all i said before i hung up.
I gasped between my sobs as I walked to the bathroom. I heard Caren call down the hall “you okay kiddo?” she asked. “Yeah just having a good cry…” I sighed out. “Alright well….you know where I am if you want to talk” she said. I could tell from her voice she had also been crying. I wouldn’t be talking anymore…. I quietly grabbed a needle and thread, my medication, and back to my room. I grabbed my pocket knife Victoria. I closed my door locking it and turned around taking a deep breath. Tonight was the night….. I sat in the middle of my room laying the supplies out including pen and paper. I slowly wrote the note goodbye to my family and my friends. Then separate notes for my friends. Marking each letter with their names on the front.
I lifted my shirt over my head carefully placing it in my hamper like it would be washed soon. I took Victoria out slowly carving “fat” into my stomach, “whore” into the top of my chest, “worthless” into one arm, and “dumb” into the other. The pain felt good. I watched as the deep crimson slowly trickled down my body. I picked up my medication and a two day old bottle of water i had on my nightstand. I downed the entire bottle of pills in minutes. I knew i didn’t have long. I took the needle and thread looking into the mirror. I tied the thread to the end of the needle and slowly pushed it through my top and bottom lips sewing my mouth shut. No more talking for “Loud Mouth Angel” no more “Metal Mouth” “Brace Face”. Any of it!
I unlocked the door then turned my light off. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I lied back on my bed waiting for death to claim me. I turned on my TV knowing Caren would either come in in the morning to turn it off or tell me to go to bed if she heard it a few hours from now. I felt the overdose of the pills starting to take affect. My vision blurring, head aching, heart thumping. Just when I thought I’d never go, my vision went black…..
I winced as Lexie poked me in the side. “Angel, try this protein shake. Its really great” she said holding it out to me. “Alright” i said quietly taking it. I took a sip and she was right. It was really good. “Wow, thats amazing Lexie” I smiled. She set it back next to her and went back to working on her algebra homework. I leaned my head back against the wall and listened to the morning babble. “Angelllllllllllllllllllll” I heard someone say. I opened my eyes and smirked seeing Alice. “Hey wolfie” i said. She smiled and we talked about her newest boy toy D.J.
“He’s so amazing!” she said laughing. I faked my laugh with her but she could hardly notice. “So how was your night” she said in a joker voice. I smirked again. “And here we go” i replied laughing. It felt good to smile for real. “I’m just a bit tired . Long night” i said. It wasn’t entirely a lie…… The bell rang and I walked to my locker exchanging things for my classes and walked into homeroom. I sat in my assigned seat and started working on my extra credit art project.
The rest of the day was pretty mellow. That is, until algebra. The thoughts of last night had been eating at me all day. I sat at my seat and did the bellwork thinking of the fight. I ran my hands into my long blonde hair putting my head down. A few people starred including my ex. The kid sitting in front of my gently touched my shoulder. “Angel are you okay?” he asked. I didn’t answer. Not out of shame or embarrassment, but i had started to cry. Song lyrics from Death of Me by Asking Alexandria ran through my mind. ‘Am I insane? Am I insane? Am I insane? The devil came to take me to Hell but I’m already there…’ I suddenly felt a large hand on my back. “Angel please go to the counselor’s office” Mr. Swanson told me. I nodded quickly bolting down the stairs.
______________
I sat in my room sobbing as I listened to my parents and sister screaming at each other. My stepfather had called us to help with my younger sister. By the time i had put down my homework and Caren and i simultaneously walked into the living room it was apparently too late for our help. “No i don’t want to look at either of your faces right now” he hissed at us. I took the hint walking away but my sister stood her ground. “Well sorry but I don’t really want to fail History and i don’t think Angel wants to fail algebra!” she screamed. It was all I had heard before bolting back into my room and turning my music up.
I whimpered standing up. I wasn’t going to eat dinner tonight. No one would. I sang softly to myself trying to calm myself down but it wouldn’t work. A soft wail escaped my lips as i slid to the floor. Names i had been called, all the mistakes I’d made throughout my life, things my friends and family had done to me. All the horrible things i had been suppressing for years were being bombarded at me at high speed. I sat up not being able to take it anymore. I grabbed my phone closing out of the texts i was getting and dialed his number. “Hello? Angel? What is it?” Johnny asked. Johnny was my ex and closest friend next to Alice. “Johnny….I-I wanna d-die!” I sobbed out. “Angel, just calm down. Tell me what happened. It can’t be that bad. Please just don’t do anything stupid” he said calmly. I sputtered everything out to him. He only listened and i imagined, he was trying to think of something to say. “.....a-and that’s really it” i said finishing. By the time i had finished I’d picked my nails to the stub and my eyes were raw from crying. “Alright Angel everythings going to be okay. Don’t do anything stupid. You’ll regret it later on. Nothing’s ever as bad as it seems” he said trying to calm me. But even he couldn’t do it.
“I-I can’t d-do it anymore J-Johnny…..I-I can’t go on…” was all i said before i hung up.
I gasped between my sobs as I walked to the bathroom. I heard Caren call down the hall “you okay kiddo?” she asked. “Yeah just having a good cry…” I sighed out. “Alright well….you know where I am if you want to talk” she said. I could tell from her voice she had also been crying. I wouldn’t be talking anymore…. I quietly grabbed a needle and thread, my medication, and back to my room. I grabbed my pocket knife Victoria. I closed my door locking it and turned around taking a deep breath. Tonight was the night….. I sat in the middle of my room laying the supplies out including pen and paper. I slowly wrote the note goodbye to my family and my friends. Then separate notes for my friends. Marking each letter with their names on the front.
I lifted my shirt over my head carefully placing it in my hamper like it would be washed soon. I took Victoria out slowly carving “fat” into my stomach, “whore” into the top of my chest, “worthless” into one arm, and “dumb” into the other. The pain felt good. I watched as the deep crimson slowly trickled down my body. I picked up my medication and a two day old bottle of water i had on my nightstand. I downed the entire bottle of pills in minutes. I knew i didn’t have long. I took the needle and thread looking into the mirror. I tied the thread to the end of the needle and slowly pushed it through my top and bottom lips sewing my mouth shut. No more talking for “Loud Mouth Angel” no more “Metal Mouth” “Brace Face”. Any of it!
I unlocked the door then turned my light off. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I lied back on my bed waiting for death to claim me. I turned on my TV knowing Caren would either come in in the morning to turn it off or tell me to go to bed if she heard it a few hours from now. I felt the overdose of the pills starting to take affect. My vision blurring, head aching, heart thumping. Just when I thought I’d never go, my vision went black…..