Letters

Austin was laying on couch, staring at the ceiling of his apartment.

No.

That was Rise Records' answer.

They refused to have a new record that wasn't the band's. This one was Alan's.

That's when a flash of genius stroke him.

He stood up, took his coat, and ran to his car. He drove to Carol, and found only Carol and Sandra, worried look on their faces.

"What happened?" Sandra asked him.

"Alan didn't told you?"

"He didn't say anything. he simply walked in, and went to Katelynn's room. What happened?"

"They refused." Austin sighed. "They don't want that album. "

"Shit."

"But I got an idea."

"What you mean?"

"Go call your bro, I've called the guys."

She nodded and jogged upstairs. Ten minutes later, everyone was in the living room.

"what do you want, Aus? Rise already told us no." Tino was pissed. He considered Alan like his little bro, and he wanted to do the very best for him. And the Record refused. He knew Alan needed that album.

"I've had an idea."

"That is?" Phil asked. He also had one and was pretty sure that Austin had had the same.

"What if, we didn't make an Of Mice And Men album?"

"What do you mean?" Alan asked, frowning.

"Rise refuses that album to be OMAM's. But if the name on it is not OMAM? What if it was like, Alan's solo album, with our help?"

Phil smiled. They had the same idea. "I agree with you."

"But..." Alan started. "if they didn't wanted it as an OMAM album, do you think they'll want it as my album?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's OMAM's name on it that they don't want."

"It doesn't sound so good." Tino interrupted. "This album is for us, and created by us. I don't want them changing anything to be more 'OMAM'."

"What if you produced it?" Sandra said, creating instantly silence. "You can all put money together, and make that album by yourselves. The purpose of this album is not to be sell a lot, or making you more well-known. The purpose is simply to do it. You could simply produce it, and then sell it on internet to your fans. Maybe it wouldn't go on the radio or anything, but I don't think that it is what Alan wants."

They stayed silent, pondering her words.

"I love the idea." Tino finally answered.

~~~~~~~~~~

And so they started working on the whole producing thing. That was going to cost them a leg. But none of them wanted to walk out of the album. Sandra was helping them organizing. She was far more used to organize than them.

She told them to wait before telling the fan. She also told them that it wouldn't be an Of Mice And Men records, they had a deal with Rise Records. They decided it would be Alan's album.

They were working on it more than ever. They still weren't into the studio, but they were still working hard on this album. It meant a lot to them.

The guys at Rise Records were pretty pissed, but none of the guys really cared. They were working hard on the songs.

Alan was staying at Carol's everyday, since he couldn't let Kat alone when he was working with the guys, he had left her there. So whenever he wasn't recording he was playing around with her. She was to him the cutest thing ever.

After two weeks of work, and half the album written, they all agreed it was time to say it to the word. They had already told the fan they were making music, and fans were exited for new material.

Sandra had told them to create a YouTube channel where they would put updates, and it couldn't be linked with their OMAM one, because of the laws. So They had created one, called AAA, Alan's initials.

So they sat down in front of the camera, at Austins, on the couch. Phil was sitting on the left armrest, Tino was sitting next to him, then Aaron, then Alan, and Austin was sitting on a chair next to Alan. Sandra sat down behind the camera to be sure everything worked.

"Hey guys!" Austin cheered.

All of the guys cheered and waved.

"Hum..."Austin had no idea what to say. He threw a look around, and Aaron came to help.

"So," Aaron said. "You all know that we're working on songs. And we are." The guys laughed. None of them really knew what to say.

"Do you want me to ask questions? We can cut them after." Sandra proposed. The guys nodded. "So, let's start again. I've heard you guys have been working on songs?"

"Yeah," Aaron answered. "We are, we have a lot of new songs!"

"And, so, you have plans for the future, I guess?" She asked with a smile.

"Absolutely." Austin answered. "We decided to start writing a new record. But it will be totally different from what you are used to."

"Really? Why different, what will change?"

"In fact, we are making this record without Rise Records. We are producing this album ourselves. It's not an Of Mice And Men records, to be honest. It is Alan's album, but we are helping him."

"This is great! And why Alan's album?"

Alan sighed. "Well, A lot of things happened in my life recently, and I wanted to create something with it, but it's too far from Of Mice And Men's music to be into one of our albums. So we are making it outside of OMAM. Plus we want complete and total freedom, even if we already had lot of freedom with Rise, I wanted to do exactly what I wanted. And those guys had been kind enough to agree."

"And how are you going to produce it?"

"We are working on it." Tino smiled. "We're gonna pay for it but it'll be really expensive, so we'll do as we can!" He laughed. "Anyway, you should all be able to buy it on Internet, but we still honestly have no idea when. It is not finished now, but we felt like we needed to tell you guys."

"That's really nice!" She stayed silent for a second. "Do you all have anything else to say?" They shook their heads. "Well, let's just say goodbye and finish it. Go"

"We were Of Mice And Men, see you soon!" Austin laughed, as they all took stupid poses.

~~~~~~~

Sandra had edited the video, cutting the beginning, leaving the intro ad her questions, and updated it some days after.

The fans had been really surprised. Some were exited, and most were wondering how the album would sound. Some were sad it wasn't a new album.

The guys kept working, never stopping. It took them some time before being ready, but they finally did it. It was early April when they finally finished it. It was a really short album, but they had worked on every little details of every song.

While at the studio, Sandra had been filming, and she had posted some videos on the new account. It helped keep the fans waiting. She was with them every time she wasn't working. Her boss was threatening to dismiss her, but she didn't cared. Alan's album was more important to her. And it made her be all the time with Austin. Even if they couldn't do anything together, she was still happy to have some time with him. Everybody knew their feelings, and respected that they didn't wanted to do anything together for now on. Austin regularly found new girlfriends, not to be alone. Sandra was with guys sometimes but never longer than a week.

It was the fourth, when they went back into the studio, after a day off the studio. The purpose was to breath and see something else than the album, to be able to come back and listen to it fully.

They all took place into the studio, with the sound engineer. It was an old friend of them, Joey. He was the one who worked on their other albums, and he had met Zoey.

They all sat down, impatient to hear the new songs.

They had already decided the order of the songs. So when Fuck Off started, none of them was surprised. It was the angry song about Owen. They decided to start with this one because it was the closest from Of Mice And Men's usual songs. It was probably heavier than most of their songs.

Then Petite Dress came on. It the complete opposite of the first song. It was just plain happy. Alan and Phil were playing on acoustics, while Aaron was singing. Austin was too, but he wasn't screaming, he sang. They couldn't repress a smile while listening. It was only cuteness and happiness.

The room went back silent, as Back Home started. It was the song Alan wrote to thank the guys. it wasn't clearly said, but all of them understood. It was faster than the previous song, but it was still not like Of Mice and Men usual songs. It was different.

All their smiles fell as Grey Sky started. The song was about loneliness. About feeling as if your whole life is boring and empty. The song was hurtful. Aaron was singing, over the electrics guitars, and Austin's screams were faintly audible. As in My Understandings.

The next song was full of discomfort. it was not just hurt, but full of feeling out of place, broken. It was talking about drugs. About how the character only wanted the release the drugs brought. All he wanted was to run out of his life, just for some minutes. And he was ready to do anything to have that. Even lost most of his friends, and everything he had ever stood up for. Nothing else mattered but feeling free and painless. They had decided to call it Freedom, ironically.

Next came Last Ambition. The song was slow, but on electric guitar. Austin was screaming the verse. Over the slow guitar, his screams were standing out, and even more powerful. at first, Austin had refused to sing it. Even Aaron wasn't so okay. It was a song about suicide. About feeling like everything you want is on the other side. But then, they had a long talk with Alan, and they ended up agreeing. Alan wanted to externalize all his feelings. and the two singers had to agree that the song was awesome.

And then, the recorded ended with The Squirrel And The Tree. The song was on acoustic guitar, with only Aaron singing. The guys had instantly loved the song. And now that they were listening to it again, they loved it.

The record was only 7 songs long, but it felt like what they had to say was said. They guys clapped their hands as the song ended, happy. The only ones who didn't made a move were Alan and Joey. The other frowned, and froze when they heard a guitar start playing. they exchanged a look. none of them knew the song. It wasn't supposed to be on the record. They turned to Alan, who had his head low. He had thought for a long time about that song, and he wanted it to be on the record but he never had the gut to play it in front of anyone. So he had went the day before and had recorded it, alone in the studio. Earlier, when Joey had came to the studio, he had called Alan about that song, and Alan had simply said he wanted the song on the record, and Joey had accepted.

The guitar was very soft,and slow. It was barely audible. The eyes of Tino, Phil, Aaron and Austin went huge as they heard Alan's voice singing. He started, slowly, making pauses between each verses.



Alan's voice was shaking. His words obviously meant a lot to him. Then, the guitar went a bit stronger, his voice still the same.

He wasn't a great singer, but it was only making the song even more real. It was simply someone feeling something, and singing it. It didn't mattered if his voice wasn't perfect. Nobody could have sang it but him.



Alan's voice was totally shaking, by now, and the guys had tears in their eyes. Alan had his head low in the studio. He hated his voice, and thought the song wasn't as good as he had thought. He almost regretted recording it.



Alan's voice broke through the chorus, and he was crying, as he continued crying. It was not totally audible, but the guys knew him enough to clearly know that he was crying. Austin was sniffing, trying not to cry hearing the pain of his best friend.

The guitar went stronger, and Alan's voice followed. He was singing out loud his pain, his regrets.



He had imagined that Austin would sing this part. But he had realized soon that this song would never be sang by anyone but him.

He went back to the chorus, the tears almost gone of his voice.

Then, his voice calmed down, the guitar stopping completely.



The guitar went back, but really soft, and slow.



The guitar went stronger, his voice almost screaming.



The guitar stopped dead, as he whispered.



And the guitar went back strong, his voice singing the chorus out loud.



Then, the guitar died off, slowly, leaving only silence in the studio. A heavy, long silence.