A New Life

-Sean-
“So today is the day.” Dr. Roberts says, smiling at me. “You’re finally taking them home.”
“Yeah.” I respond with a smile of my own. “We are.”
“Are you excited?”
“Definitely. But also a little nervous.” I admit.
“Don’t be. You two are going to be wonderful parents. You already are.”
“Thank you.” She smiles. “No, seriously. Thank you, Dr. Roberts. I know I’ve thanked you before, but... You don’t know what it means to us that you’ve been so amazing through all of this. What it means to me that you were able to save all three of my girls. They’re... they’re my world. My everything. And I only have them because of you.”
“You’re more than welcome, Sean.” She says.

I follow her into Charlie’s room where I find Janine and Johanna helping get her and the girls ready to go home. Janine is packing the few articles of clothing Charlie has collected here while Charlie and Johanna are each holding one of the girls. I can’t help but beam with joy. I’m almost as happy now as I was the first time Charlie got to see them...

It’s been three days since they started taking Bella off the machine, and she’s been doing so well. She’s up to a couple hours without the machine on her own. They say she’ll likely have to use it while she sleeps for the first couple years. And maybe occasionally when she gets older, like during allergy season. Just to help her breathe properly. But other than that, she’s making her way towards a full recovery.

Today, they’re finally giving Bella the go-ahead to leave the NICU. So I’m taking both of them up to visit their mother.

I pick up Maddy and smile at her big brown eyes.

“Are you ready to meet your mommy?” I ask. “She’s ready to meet you.”

Maddy smiles and I kiss her cheek. I tuck her into the carrier we’ve been using to take her upstairs and the nurse unplugs Bella’s machine.

When we get up to Charlie’s room, I pause at the door. This is the moment I’ve been waiting weeks for.

Sean. Charlie. Madison. Isabella.

We’re going to be a family. Together. Finally.

I push the door open and Charlie’s head shifts up so she’s looking at us. I smile and hold the door for the nurse to push Bella’s bed into the room. Charlie’s eyes dart back and forth between Bella, Maddy and me. I can see tears starting to form, but there’s a smile on her face too.

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on her.” The nurse says, closing the door behind her.

“Which one would you like first?” I ask.
“Either.” She responds, her voice airy and filled with emotion.

I put Maddy’s carrier on the end of the bed and unstrap her. She cries softly and I hear Charlie’s breath hitch.

“Madison Grace Couturier, meet your mommy.” I say, handing her over to Charlie’s waiting arms. She chokes back a sob, cradling Maddy the way only a mother knows how. One finger freely traces Maddy’s face.

“She’s so beautiful.” She says.
“I think she looks like you.” I respond.

Charlie doesn’t answer, just staring at our daughter in her arms. I take a second to unhook the wired connected to Bella and smile at my youngest. She’s gotten so much better at sitting still while she’s being hooked and unhooked from her machine. I’ve found it helps to talk soothingly to her.

“Are you ready to meet your mommy too, little one?” I ask. “Mommy’s been waiting to meet you.”

I get the wired off and slowly pick my daughter up. It’s only the second time I’m getting to hold her, and still feels like a miracle. I sit down on the edge of the bed next to Charlie and look at her. Her attention is still focused on Maddy, but shifts slightly when the bed dips. She takes in the sight of the tubes in her nose that I can’t disconnect, and I see the smile on her face fall.

She leans forward and places Maddy back into her carrier before turning to put her full focus on Bella. Unlike with Maddy, she doesn’t immediately reach out for her. She doesn’t do anything, actually. So I take the initiative and place her into Charlie’s arms.

“You aren’t going to hurt her.” I whisper in her ear.
“How do you know that?” She asks, her voice small and fearful.
“Because you’re her mother.” I respond.

Somehow, my words get through to her. She takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. I can see the fear melting away from her body, relaxing her muscles. She gulps, and I think it finally sets in that she’s holding her daughter.

“She looks like you.”
“So I’ve been told.” I chuckle.
“She’s beautiful too. They both are. They’re... they’re perfect.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”

“Are you just going to stand there staring at us, or are you going to help take your daughters home?” Charlie’s voice pulls me out of my memories.

I chuckle, but don’t answer. Instead, I choose to shoulder the bag Janine has just zipped up and lean down to kiss my wife, who’s buckling Maddy into her carrier. She hums in appreciation and pulls me so my whole body is flush with hers.

“Jeez, you’d think they’d at least wait until their first offspring are home before they start thinking about more.”

Charlie and I both freeze a little. We haven’t told anyone yet about our potential inability to have more kids. Not even our families. It’s still a sore subject for both of us, and we’ve decided to just focus on taking care of our girls for now.

“Come on.” I whisper. “Let’s get our girls home.”

I drive painstakingly slow on the way home, to the point of Charlie making fun of me for it. But I mean.... I’ve got the three most amazing things in my life in this car. I have to be careful with them.

We pull into the garage and Charlie sighs. I turn in my seat and look at her, taking her hand in mine.

“We’re going to be amazing parents.” I promise. “We’re going to fuck up a couple times, yeah. We’re going to have issues with them and with each other. And we’re going to have more moments where we want to pull our hair out than we’ll ever admit. But Charlie, baby. We’re going to do this together. And you and I can do anything when we’re together. We’re going to love them and take care of them and be the best damn parents that our two little girls will ever be able to ask for.”

She smiles, pressing her forehead to mine. I let my eyes close and I take a deep breath.

“You’re right.” She says. “We are going to be the best damn parents ever.”

I unbuckle and get out of the car, walking around to the passenger side to open Charlie’s door. She giggles at me and it’s a gorgeous sound.

“You’re such a dork.” She says.
“But you love me anyway.”
“Of course I do.” She smiles.
I lean down and kiss her heartily.
“Lets get these babies inside.”