One Heart With Two Owners

*Syn's P.O.V.*

“I don’t think I can do that Zacky” I stood up trying to get some distance between us again.

Though I really loved that guy from the bottom of my heart, but there was one problem that could stop us from living together. Tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t look at Zacky’s frowned face anymore. It was breaking my heart to see him like this. I know he went through some bad time the last days and it is kind of sweet that he admitted his love for me to his girlfriend but I couldn’t do the same to him. I just couldn’t do it.

“Ok. Can you tell me why you are so afraid of that? I just want to understand why” he said in his really cold voice.

All the happiness disappeared from his face and he was just talking to me like he did when we were still friends.

“I regret that step I did years ago. It really doesn’t have to do anything with you, Zacky. You know my feelings to you, but I just can’t talk to Michelle about that.”

“Will you ever do that?” he kept asking me.

“I don’t know” I shrugged and started walking backwards.

“Then I really want you to go now” he pointed at the door.

I knew when I was leaving him now I never would have a chance to get closer to him again. I might could explain to him why it was such a big problem for me, but that wouldn’t really change the whole situation. It would make it just easier for him to understand my point of view.

“May you give me one minute” I begged him and even would fall down on my knees if I had to.

“What would change that? You just don’t have the balls to admit your feelings for me to your wife. It actually doesn’t surprise me since you don’t have the strength to tell her what you really think. No matter if you don’t like the clothes she is buying for you or if she tags along with you during our whole tour. How many times have you been coming to me and complained about her? I stopped counting to be honest. I don’t need someone on my side that is a pussy like you probably are. I’m sorry Brian.”

“Thanks for finally letting me know what you think of me” I snarled.

I don’t know what was making me so angry right now. It might be Zacky telling me the truth or if I was just angry about myself that I couldn’t go to Michelle and tell her everything like he did.

“I think we are finished here then” he lied down with his face turned to the window.

Yes I think we are finished here. Zacky was stubborn like a little kid, but I wasn’t any better. I’ve had no strength to fight anymore and just would leave it for now. Maybe there was another moment that would give me the opportunity to talk to him again, after everything cooled down of course.
I passed the other guys from our band without saying anything. I just didn’t feel like talking unless that person would be Zacky himself. So I decided to spend the night somewhere else, a place where I could be alone and think about a few things.

“Brian” I heard Johnny calling my name but I just ignored it.

They wouldn’t understand my situation anyway. I only hoped that I was right about Meaghan not telling anyone about us, especially not Michelle or I would be really in the hot seat.
Paris could have been so perfect for us. I had planned in my mind already all those romantic stuff but now the bubble burst into million single pieces.

~*~

I had been thinking all night long and made a decision for myself. I wasn’t really sure if Zacky would give me a chance of explaining to him my situation, so I was writing him a letter in that case. First of all I wanted to talk to the rest of the members and tell them my decision to finally leave the band. Matt already suspended me and last night after I talked with a good friend of mine on the phone I made the decision that I will start my career as a producer. He was giving me the chance by offering me the job in his production company close to the place where I was actually living. So nothing would change much unless that I would stop touring with my best friends. Although it wouldn’t mean that I wouldn’t catch up with them from time to time. In modern times we all had mobile phones or a computer where we could write text messages or emails.
My way to the tour bus wasn’t the easiest one but I had to go that step. I started to remember how this all started, how much fun I had with these guys around and also noticed my feelings for my best friend – Zachary Baker. We all grew up together, shared a lot of funny, happy and sad moments, but now it was time for me to go – start a chapter in my life. I really tried not to cry, because not every end was meant to be bad.
I spotted Matt, Johnny and Arin waiting for the rest of the crew at the hotel. They were all wearing sunglasses, probably hiding the dark circles around their eyes.

“Brian” Arin seemed relieved seeing me again.

“Hi guys” I waved and cleared my throat again “I need to tell you something and please don’t interrupt me because I think I will be able to do this only once without crying like a little baby. I don’t come back to ask Matt about his suspending for me. I actually came here to tell you that I got a great job opportunity from my friend, working along with him in his production company. It’s not really easy for me going that step and I guess many people will be upset about it. It doesn’t have anything to do what happened recently, I just made that decision for me because I think it is time to close this chapter and start a new one. We went through a lot of good and bad times and I will be still living at that same old place. So you still can call me or catch up for a drink. And please continue to rock like we did before.”

I ended that speech and turned to Arin who already had tears in his eyes.

“Arin, I never thought that anyone could play the drums like my best friend Jimmy did. I didn’t had much hope that it will work after he died but you proved me wrong. You are fucking talented kid, I don’t know actually what to say as hit the drums, dude. You have the potential to be one big drummer one day, so please use that.”

“I will” he said in a tearful voice before I hugged that skinny little boy.

“Johnny” I turned to him “That little gnome that always knew how to cheer us up with his damn bad jokes. I will probably miss our teasing the most and having a good drinking partner beside me. I never forget when you joined that band totally drunk and ask for another beer. Well you seriously know how to entertain the people, when you don’t know how to play the bass right” I chuckled a little bit before I got serious again “You do a good job and really four strings shouldn’t be a problem either” I tried to smile a little bit before I wrapped my arms around him as well.

I hated these moments and I was happy that I just had to say goodbye to one more. Matt was the only one that didn’t show any emotions yet. So I really couldn’t say if he was still angry at me for covering Zacky’s ass or he just didn’t want to show anyone that he had feelings.

“Matt, I’m a little grateful that you were giving me the chance to think about a few things in my life and what I want to do next. It’s not that I don’t like to be with you guys, it was always a joy for me, but I also wanted to work in a studio one day and now when I get the chance I take it of course. I don’t blame you at all, but please don’t be harsh on Zacky. He really didn’t do anything wrong, nor he deserved that kind of treatment. He is a good guy and please treat him like that. Because he isn’t here with you guys, I was writing that letter to him. I trust you that you will forward my letter. So take care of these motherfucking crazy guys since you are now the oldest in the band. We will see each other soon in sunny California” I waved my hand and was already on my way to the taxi stand when I heard Michelle’s voice from behind.

“You stay here, bastard” she yelled really angry “Don’t think you can run away like that. You owe me an explanation.”