In the Shallows

Everything was going absolutely crazy and it was beyond my control, I couldn't keep track of anything. I wasn't sure if I was even breathing at this point, everything was just out of wack. I tried to concentrate on Rick's voice but all I heard was the voice itself, none of his words were making sense. I was blanking out and I kept telling myself that this was not the time to lose focus.

I shook out of my trance as Carl tugged on my hand, "Alex! Let's go." I felt a little pathetic being led by a kid but under the circumstances I think I was pretty justified. We dodged and weaved in and out of walkers, the noises that were coming out of my mouth weren't even human anymore. We eventually made it back to the house, just in time to save Hershel from an unsuspecting walker that was about to attack from behind.

I couldn't help but jump as Rick shot it, "Where's Lori? Did you see Lori?" His voice and face were filled with determination.

Hershel looked frazzled and honestly I couldn't blame him, "I don't know what happened, Rick. They just keep coming. They're like a plague, they keep coming from everywhere."

Rick shook his head, his voice loud, "Lori! Did you see her?" Hershel answered and Rick groaned as more geeks started heading our way, "We have to go. Find mom and the others." He looked at me, his eyes anticipating.

I took a step forward, my heart racing, my head shaking, finally finding my words, "I can't leave-I can't. Not without Daryl."

Rick looked at me with a sincere expression, "Alex we don't got time, if we're gonna survive, we need to leave now!"

Hershel yelled, "It's my farm!"

Next thing we both knew, Rick had us in each of his hands, dragging us to a vehicle, "Not anymore!" He roughly shoved my kicking body into the truck, "Come on!" He hopped in the driver side, "Hershel! Look at Alex's leg."

I whimpered softly as Hershel used his shaking hands to inspect my wound, talking to Rick, I overheard him telling Carl to pull out the first aid kit in the glove compartment. It wasn't until he started to stitch up the wound that I started to cry. I wasn't crying because it hurt, hell I lost feeling in it the second we hit the woods. I was crying because of Daryl. I started to blame myself. If I never would have gone with Rick, I would have been with Daryl, I would have felt safe among all the chaos and walkers.

My heart ached because I wasn't with him. I felt like a piece of me was missing and that sounded pathetic, but I had never experienced something so scary without him by my side to comfort me. I hated that about myself. I needed him. It was because of that realization that I tried so hard to ignore my feelings. I shouldn't need to depend on someone so much. But I did and I wanted Daryl so badly.

Before I knew it, we were back on the highway where we had left supplies for Sophia. My knees were pulled tightly against my chest and I was pretty sure that I hadn't blinked. My eyes felt dry and my throat ached from the sobbing I had done since we left. My eyes burned from the sun that shined it's way through the truck, I watched as everyone get out. I stayed glued in the back, my body felt numb. Apart of me was hoping and wishing that Daryl was alive, I needed him to be. I overheard yelling and mumurs being exchanged between Carl and Rick but I couldn't bring myself to listen.

I felt dead.

My ears perked up the second I heard the hum of a motorcycle, I quickly spun around in my seat, my eyes falling upon Daryl and Carol on Merle's bike, the green suv, and the blue truck following behind. I struggled to open the car door, the moment I pried it open, my feet had never taken me faster to someone than it did at that moment. Tears started to prick my eyes. The impact of the embrace rang loudly in the air, it stung a little but I didn't care. I buried my face in his chest, tears rushing out. I felt him wrap his arms around me, his musky smell filling my nose.

We pulled apart, his thumbs wiping away at the tears, "Told ya not to somethin' stupid." A small weary grin rose on his lips as he pulled me into another hug. I held onto him tight, the feeling of safety washing over me.

"I'm so glad your alive." I mumbled, "So glad."

He nodded, kissing the top of my head quickly, "Same." I had pulled away and embraced everyone else, before I never would have hugged them. But, now? It was different. This was my family, this was my home.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked.

Daryl pulled me back into his side the second I was done hugging Carol, "Well those guys," he pointed to Glenn, "tail lights zigzaggin' all over the road, figured he had to be Asian, drivin' like that."

We all chuckled, Glenn nodded , "Good one."

Daryl rose an eyebrow, "Where's the rest of us?"

Rick looked apprehensive, "We're the only ones who made it so far."

Lori stood up from holding Carl, "Shane?" I made a noise in my throat causing Daryl to glance down at me with a look. But I chose to ignore it, I was going to hold off on that information for a little while longer. I was just thankful he hadn't noticed my injury quite yet. Rick had shaken his head to signal that Shane didn't make it, everyone got silent.

"Andrea?" Glenn asked.

Carol spoke up, her tone soft, "She saved me, then I lost her."

T-Dog added, "We saw her go down."

"You definitely saw Andrea?"

Lori shrugged, her eyes flickering to each of us, "There were walkers everywhere."

"Did you see her?"

Daryl pulled away from me, heading to his bike, "I'm gonna go back."

"No!" It wasn't meant to be harsh, but it came out like that. I swallowed hard, "You can't. You just got here and I didn't even think you were alive." My voice quivered, "Please don't do this to me."

He gave me a soft look, "We can't jus' leave her."

Lori spoke up before I had the chance too, "We don't even know if she's there."

"She isn't there, she isn't." Rick added, "She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her." I was shocked at how blunt and straightforward he was being, but at the same time, the man he was before the herd and the man after the herd was not the same. Nor would they're paths cross again.

I bit my lip as Glenn started to speak, his tone full of sadness and questioning, "So, we're not even gonna look for her?"

I sighed, running my hands over my head, "Glenn's right, we gotta look for her." I took a deep breath, giving Daryl a look, "Maybe you should look for her." My throat tightened as I said that and even though I disliked Andrea a lot, she was still part of this family.

Rick put his hand out, "We gotta keep moving." His voice stern and calm, "There have been walkers crawling all over here."

"I say we head east."

Daryl nodded, "Stay off the main roads." He started for his bike, grabbing his crossbow, "The bigger the road, the more walkers. More assholes like this one, I got him." He started walking towards the lone geek that was making it's way towards us.

We had a short discussion of our plans and then we all started to gather what was left of the supplies around the area. I leaned against the red truck and chewed on my middle finger, watching the others prepare themselves. My attention was drawn towards Daryl who walked slowly up to me, his mouth twitching,

"Ya gonna tell me what the hell happened?"

I sighed, taking a deep breath, "Shane killed Randall, was gonna use Randall as an excuse for Rick and I's murder." I chewed on my lip as I looked at him with a tilted head, his blue eyes drilling into my brown ones, "He wanted the title of being head boss and to have Lori and Carl back."

His hand softly grazed my thigh, giving me a slight dirty look, "And what happened here?"

I shuddered underneath his touch, "Do we have to do this right-"

"-answer me, god damn it." His voice was still soft but full of gruff and anger.

I pressed my lips together, "Shane-he-Shane shot me." I swallowed hard at how tense he became, my hand reached out towards him but he flinched away, "Daryl," I sniffled, "please don't be mad."

Daryl turned away from me, his jaw clenched, "Believe me, I'm tryin'." His head turned towards me, his eyes so full of anger, "Ya such a pain in the ass, Lex."

I frowned, "I'm sorry that I-"

He was quick, one hand on my waist and the other hand on the back of my head, pulling me close to his head, his breath was hot on my skin. It started to make my stomach fill with butterflies being so close to him. His eyes scanned over me, his mouth twitching. I gasped lightly as his lips crashed against mine, "But, god I love you." He growled.

My breath caught in my throat, pulling away sharply, my eyes narrowed slightly, "You what?" I almost didn't believe what I heard was true. I hadn't been in the right frame of mind since that whole episode happened.

Daryl groaned, "Don't make me repeat it." He pulled me in again, his lips on mine, where they should be.