Live Through This

Frank's POV

Three weeks later:

I dropped my backpack on the floor and ran to my room, hoping my mother wouldn’t notice me. I wasn’t so lucky.

“Frankie?” she called out. “You’re home?”

I groaned quietly and slipped out of my room to face my mother. Her dark hair hung in front of her face as she watched TV.

“Hi, Mom…” I sighed. Usually I got along great with my mother, but ever since I’d told her about going to live with Gerard, that changed. She wasn’t angry, and she agreed to let me go, but she liked to guilt trip me.

“How’s Gerard? He’s still moving to California?”

“Yes.” I didn’t look her in the eye. I knew where this was going.

“It’s so far away… I’m gonna miss my only baby. I’ll have to live here all alone.. Since your father left..”

I turned away and stomped back to my room. I didn’t need that. I already knew every bit of what she was saying, but Gerard needed me. I bit my lip and turned around, holding my head high as I approached my mother again.

“I think I should live with Gerard until the move..” her face fell, but I had to convince her. “So if I don’t like it.. I could stay here instead of moving to California.”

She immediately perked up. “Okay!”

I chuckled nervously. “Okay.. I’ll uh go pack…”

“Have fun..” she sighed and turned her attention back to whatever melodramatic show she was watching at the time.

I sprinted back to my room and shoved all the shit I’d need into a suitcase and grabbed my guitar. I checked my hair in the mirror then climbed out my window to go to Gerard’s house. It was dark, but his house wasn’t far away, only a few blocks. I padded up his lawn and to his window, looking around to see if anyone was still out. I picked up a few stones and tossed them at Gerard’s window, only hard enough to alert him of my presence.

The window opened slowly, and Gerard peeked out behind his messy hair. “Frank..” his grin was lopsided and excited.

I smiled at him and gave him my arm to pull me in through his window. “Hi Gee.”

He threw his arms around me, squeezing me hard against him.

“Something wrong..?” I let him hold me and rub my back, but he just shook his head.

“No… I’m okay.”

I nodded a little. “I’m moving in.”

His smile widened into a grin, and he hugged me even tighter. I smiled back and nuzzled into his chest. Sometimes he gets like that, where he doesn’t want to talk at all. He just wants to cuddle and feel, which I don’t mind at all. I pulled him to his bed and laid with him, cuddling into his side. He sighed happily and fell asleep. I played with his hair as he slept, sometimes letting my hand slide down to hold his face, caressing it gently. I closed my eyes, my face centimeters from his. His warm breath fell across my face and soft snores fell from his lips. I smiled a little and finally fell asleep.

The next morning, my lips were against Gerard’s, but he was still asleep. I blushed brightly and pulled away, the sudden movements awakening him.

“Hm?” he yawned.

I stroked his hair softly. “Nothing, Gee..”

A small smile flickered across his lips as he fell asleep again.

Gerard's POV

My day started late. I felt like shit. I, being me, was reluctant to go all the way to California. Frank was sacrificing so much for me, and truth be told, I kind of didn’t want him there. Of course, I do loved him and wanted to see that beautiful smile each day, but part of me didn’t want him to see me this way. I looked how I felt; terrible.

I woke up with Frank’s lips on mine. Pretending to be asleep, I closed my eyes as if I could capture this moment and store it in my memories. If I was going to make it through this, I would need many happy things to think of. I wanted him for myself, but I was too afraid of what he might say if I actually admitted to that.

I felt him pull his lips away from mine and had to keep myself from sighing. He shook me gently; I hummed as if I had really just woken up.

“Nothing, Gee.” He messed with my hair a little before laying back down.

The next few days went somewhat like this, besides the lips thing. My parents didn’t ask for us to do anything. Mostly, I slept while Frank got on my computer. I barely ate anything, but today was different. I was beginning to regain my appetite.

“Here you go,” Frankie whispered, setting down the bowl of warm soup on the nightstand next to me. I propped myself against the wall and started down at the yellow-ish liquid with noodles and chunks of what was supposed to be chicken. Though I was feeling a little queasy, I forced down a few bites. The next thing to come was one of the worst feelings in my opinion. The bowl ended up on the hardwood floor as I raced to the bathroom. The little I had eaten in the last two days had sloshed around in my stomach long enough. I threw it all up in the toilet.

Suddenly, my hair was being pulled out of my face. The soothing sound of Frank’s voice filled my ears and I felt him rubbing my back in small motions.

“Shh,” he reassured. “You’re going to be alright, swee-” He cut himself off. “Gee. You’re going to be alright, Gee.” I so desperately wanted him to finish the sentence he started before, but I said nothing about it.

I tried to speak, but my sentence only came in fragments. “I. . . shower. . .” I felt Frank’s body shake with laughter.

“Well Damn, Gerard,” he mumbled. “You just violently puked up your guts and now you insist you must shower.” I turned to puke again. At this point it was nothing but stomach acid. “I suggest we start with a mint.”

When Frank looked at the toilet bowl, he paled. I could tell he wanted to scream. I couldn’t stop puking. Then I saw it.

I wanted to curse, but it barely came to a whisper.

“Donna!” Frank called. “Donna, we need you! Gerard is throwing up blood!” Tears sprang to my eyes. It burned so bad. It made me hurt all over. I felt dizzy, as if I might pass out. I heard my mom gasp from the doorway and say something about calling an ambulance before scrambling away.

The last thing I remember was being held by Frank and saying, “Please don’t let me die.”

Frank's POV

“Please don’t let me die…”

I whimpered and picked him up, holding him tightly in my arms. “Gerard” I sobbed. He laid still in my arms, his head falling over my arms. Soon we could hear loud sirens coming from outside and EMTs rushed in, ripping Gerard from my arms. I cried harder and ran after them, stumbling as I went. I ran all the way to the hospital to the room I knew they were taking Gerard. They had one reserved just in case. Men and women flew in, rushing about the room at lightspeed. Gerard was still passed out on the hospital bed, not responding no matter what the doctors tried, but he still had a heartbeat. I stood in the corner, unsure of what to do. The scene blurred through my tears, becoming a mess of navy blue hospital uniforms, sterile white walls and Gerard’s crimson vomit. I gasped his name and fell to the floor, sobbing and heaving. I couldn’t stand up. I was losing him. I thrashed and curled into myself, coughing wildly and screaming his name.

A blonde nurse knelt beside me. “Sh. Sweetie. We’re gonna take you somewhere to cool down..”

A few men picked me up with ease and carried me away from Gerard. I screamed louder the further we got. I couldn’t leave him in there alone. He couldn’t leave me here alone. I cried until there weren’t any tears left, and the nurses gave me a shot in my arm. Sleep washed over me, and I welcomed it. Maybe I’d dream of a healthy Gerard.