Dusk & Summer

tom.
oct 06, 2005.
london, england.
Bright sunlight shone against my closed eyelids, making me squint and frown as I awoke. The air against my bare arms was cold as I rubbed my eyes and ran my fingers through my messy hair. The rest of me was incredibly warm and comfortable, and as I opened my eyes I found myself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, in an unfamiliar room, laying in an unfamiliar bed.

I glanced down. There was a small, slender hand on my chest. I quickly ran my gaze up the slim arm and stared at the face of the girl beside me. It suddenly all came flooding back as I turned onto my side to look at her.

The kiss outside the bar; the tense tube ride home - luckily there was no one else in our compartment because we couldn't keep our hands off each other; reaching her apartment and her briefly breaking her lips away from mine to say that we should wait, but then lust getting the better of both of us, which resulted in us quickly ripping each other's clothes off underneath her comforter...

I hadn't even noticed the wide smile spreading across my lips until she moved slightly in her sleep, snapping me back to reality. A lock of her hair had fallen across her face, and after hesitating briefly I reached out and brushed it back behind her ear.

She looked so pretty asleep; so sweet and almost pure, like she could never cause any pain or harm to anyone. Her make up had rubbed off in the night but I thought she looked better at that moment than I'd ever seen her before.

I smiled slightly again, before carefully rolling over to reach down and grab my phone sticking out of the pocket of my jeans, which were in a crumpled heap beside the bed. 9.57, the time read. I looked at it for a while, before my mind clicked into action and my stomach dropped. My plane left in an hour and a half.

"Fuck." I hissed to myself as I quickly sat up and grabbed my boxers, pulling them on before getting up to find my socks. Then I slid on my jeans before looking around me for my t shirt. As I pulled it over my head I glanced over at Anna, still sleeping peacefully in bed. I wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with her, but instead I gently eased the door open and slipped out of the room. My jacket was in a heap on the living room floor, but I left it there as I quickly crossed the room to the bathroom door. Once inside I washed my face and tried to flatten my messy bed hair. I looked at my reflection. I had a hint of stubble on my jaw and the dark lines under my eyes showed my lack of much sleep. I made my way back into Anna's bedroom again, but knelt down to pick up my jacket. In the corner of my eye, something gray suddenly shot past me and I almost jumped out of my skin, nearly losing my balance. My head snapped up and I stared, then relaxed as a long-haired, white cat slunk across the floor towards me. It mewed quietly as I stood up, staring up at me questioningly before weaving between my ankles and rubbing against my legs. I knelt back down and ran my long fingers down its smooth back, before scratching behind its ear gently. The cat mewed again and began to purr, pushing its head against my hand. I stood back up and it meowed again in protest, before skulking off towards the kitchen.

I stepped back into Anna's room quietly. She was still asleep and she didn't even stir as I pulled my jacket on and zipped it up; the noise seemed painfully loud as it sliced through the silence of the morning.

I glanced at my phone again. 10.02. Carefully I sank back down onto the bed and placed a hand on Anna's warm back.

"Anna." I whispered hesitantly. I moved my hand up and brushed back her hair.

"Anna." I whispered again, leaning down and pressing my lips to her temple in a kiss. She stirred a little, before her eyes began to slowly open. I moved my head back a little and gave her a nervous smile as she looked up at me, still dazed and confused from sleep.

"I have to go." I said softly, and her brow furrowed as she woke up quickly.

"What?" She said, and guilt ripped through me.

"My flight's in an hour and a half. I have to go check out of the hotel, then get to the airport and check in."

Her face dropped and she raised a hand to rub her forehead.

"I completely forgot you were going back today." She said. Her voice sounded full of regret.

"I'm- I'm sorry, I should have reminded you-"

"No, it's okay." She interrupted me, and there was an awkward silence.

"I didn't remember until I woke up." I eventually said quietly, and Anna looked at me as she sat up carefully, tucking the sheet around her chest. There was another silence, and once again I broke it.

"I really need to go."

She nodded and ran a hand through her unruly, messy hair. I glanced down at my hands twisting together nervously in my lap. "I- well I--"

I was suddenly interrupted by a loud mew as the cat leapt onto the bed and pattered over to Anna.

"Hi Gus." She said sleepily, picking it up and kissing the top of its head. She looked up at me and smiled awkwardly.

"Sorry."

I shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

"No problem. I was just- I mean... I'll come back soon to see you...I mean- if you want..."

I got the distinct impression that she wasn't interested anymore. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to kiss her but I didn't think she wanted me to.

"Yes, I do." She said, very softly, but I don't think she meant it. It seemed like she was just being polite to save me the embarrassment. I exhaled sharply and stood up off the bed, causing the cat to leap down and race from the room.

"I'll call you soon." I said, and she nodded, pulling her knees up into her chest. I hesitated for a few more moments, before finally turning and leaving the room. I exhaled heavily and ran my fingers through my hair as I opened the front door and left the apartment.



tom.
oct 19, 2005.
san diego, california.
"As you can see, the kitchen is very spacious, leading through into the dining room here..."

I nodded absently and looked around before glancing back down at the papers rolled up in my hand.

"Tom look at the pool! Get this one, c'mon, you could have awesome parties here."

"I am not spending a hell of a lot of money on a house to throw parties for you, Kari."

I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses and ran a hand through my hair.

"Why did you ask me to come with you if you weren't going to listen to my suggestions?" My baby sister asked, running a hand along the black marble countertop. I laughed.

"I would listen to your suggestions if so far they hadn't just been, 'It's so close to the beach, get this one!' or 'Dude, look at the size of the friggin' hot tub, you've got to buy this house!'"

"They are very important investments to make when buying a house!" She retorted as we followed the realtor through to the dining room.

"Shit! Look at this motherfu-" My elbow in her ribs quickly shut her up as she voiced my thoughts. At the rear end of the room both the walls and the ceiling were glass, which filled the room with light and gave us exquisite fews of the pool, garden and mountains in the background.

"This is one of the rooms that really give the house it's extra selling power." The realtor commented smugly. Kari nudged me, trying to be discreet. I cleared my throat and nodded.

"It's pretty nice, yeah." I said, trying to play it cool. Kari's nudging got more frantic as I shot her a look and strode towards the glass door leading into the garden.

"Could we have a look outside?" I asked, and the realtor rushed forward, extracting some keys from his pocket. He slid the door open and the fresh air hit my face pleasantly as we stepped outside. The garden was fantastic and Kari was right, the pool was amazing.

"I'll leave you to look around the backyard and talk." The realtor said with an air of confidence about him, smirking at Kari and turning away, pulling out his phone at the same time.

"This is gorgeous, Tom. And the house is the right size for just you. It's not too small but it's not too big either." Kari said, and I chewed on my lip anxiously as I let her words sink in. "Plus this backyard is perfect for Grey."

I nodded and looked around as we walked along the edge of the pool.

"I'll have a word with the realtor but I'm not confirming anything."

Kari rolled her eyes, flicking her blonde hair back behind her shoulder.

"Fine."

We stepped back into the dining room as the realtor snapped his phone shut and gave us a wide smile.

"So what are your thoughts." He asked.

"I am interested. I'll give you a call soon, if that's alright." I replied, and he pulled a face.

"I've got some other viewings over the next couple of days, so you'll probably have to get in there fast if you're seriously interested."

I nodded and gave him a quick smile as he showed us towards the front door.

"Well give me a call when you've made up your mind, but I'd like to say that, this house is definitely a good buy. Especially at this time, house prices are about to rise pretty drastically so I'd snatch this up while you have the chance for such a good price." He smirked again confidently, and I nodded politely.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

Kari and I stepped onto the front porch and down the stone steps.

"You better get this house." Kari told me, and I laughed.

"We'll see. Jesus, you're persistent. It's not like you'll even be living here if I do."

"I don't care! You still need to buy this house!"

"I'm visiting mom later on this week." I changed the subject as we walked across the gravel to my car parked in the driveway. "I'm going for dinner Sunday afternoon. Are you coming?"

"Yeah she mentioned it when I rang her on Monday."

We climbed into my car and I started the engine.

"Do you want me to drop you home or somewhere else?"

"Ummm, what's the time.." She glanced down at her watch. "Yeah just drop me at home. Thanks. I'm going out later but I want to go and get ready."

I nodded as we pulled out of the drive onto the quiet road. It took about a half hour to get back into the city, where Kari lived. I dropped her outside the house she shared with some friends before driving back towards my apartment.

I finally pulled into my apartment parking lot and parked in my usual space. After switching off the engine I pulled my phone out as I climbed out of the car and locked it behind me. After a hesitant breath, I dialled the number and held the phone to my ear, glancing around me as I made my way up the stairs to the lobby of the apartment block.

It clicked onto answerphone, I was relieved, and felt more confident as I left the message.

"Hi, it's Tom." I started shortly. "Just to let you know that I should be moving within the next month, so I'll be able to collect Grey. Um...I'll keep you up to date on everything. Okay well...hope you're good. Bye."

I hung up and exhaled heavily as I stepped into the elevator. Suddenly my phone beeped in my hand again, and as the elevator lurched upwards I looked down and saw that I had a missed call. My heart began to thump heavily when I saw who it was from. Another beep, and 'One New Voicemail' flashed up at me. My mouth went dry and I fumbled to dial answerphone. My phone just beeped at me, once again, and I groaned in frustration as I stared down at the screen and was told 'No Network Coverage'. I swore under my breath and tried again, but had no luck. I glanced up at the elevator numbers and saw I was almost at my floor. I fidgeted nervously as I stared at the light getting closer and closer to my floor, until finally the doors pinged open. Before I'd even stepped out of the elevator I was dialling my answerphone again.

"You have one new message." The automated voice told me as I pushed my key into the lock. "Received today at 3.24pm."

Five minutes ago. She must've called while I was leaving Jen a message.

I felt a bit sick as the next few silent seconds seemed to stretch on forever. Then her voice filled my ear.

"Hi, it's Anna." She sounded flustered and was speaking louder than normal. "Look, it's been two weeks since-- well- and- you haven't got in contact with me or anything-- and you left in such a huge rush that morning and-- I just- it's rude. So, you know, I'm not just-- I wouldn't have-- if I'd known you were just going to leave in the morning and never call me, or anything. So - you know - fine, whatever, but- you're a bastard, and... I wasn't going to call you but, you know, I needed to tell you that- you're a bastard-- and- just because you're famous, doesn't mean you can just take advantage of girls and never call them, because, it's rude, even though I've already said that. And just so you know I haven't just been, like, sitting here for two weeks thinking about it. No way. I just thought-- me and Mel both thought - that...you needed to be told that you're a bastard. So yeah. Okay. Well...bye."

I laughed softly out of nerves as I raised a shaking hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. My hands were still trembling as I pressed redial, and the phone began to ring, crackling through the long distance. It was then I began to get excruciatingly nervous again, and my top lip began to sweat as I realised I'd have to actually speak to her if she answered.

"Hello."

I could tell she was trying to sound as though she didn't know it was me.

"...Hi, it's Tom." I replied nervously, wiping my sweating palm on my pants as I stood in the middle of my living room, dead still.

"Oh, hi."

There was a muffled sound, and I could hear frantic whispering.

"Look, look-" I began desperately, thinking she may hang up. "I'm sorry I haven't called- I've-- I've wanted to-"

She snorted with disbelief so I quickly continued.

"-but I've just- I've tried but-- I got too nervous, I--" I trailed off, too nervous to string together a coherent sentence. "...I thought you weren't interested anymore." I mumbled, realising how stupid it sounded now.

"Wh-why did you think that?!" She answered immediately. I could here her quietly closing a door - I'm guessing she'd gone somewhere to be alone.

"Because you-- I don't know...I thought you regretted it in- in the morning. You didn't seem like you wanted to-"

I stopped myself short. I didn't know how to finish my sentence. Anna didn't speak which made it worse.

"That's- what I thought about you." She finally said quietly. There was a silence, before I heard her laugh disbelievingly.

"So basically, we're both stupid, and I just made a complete fool out of myself."

I laughed as well.

"No you didn't." I said, moving round to sit on my sofa. There was another pause, so I licked my dry lips and spoke again. "Look I'm- I am really sorry for not calling you, I just-- I got so nervous because I thought that you- that after--" I stopped and laughed nervously. "--that you got put off, or something."

"That didn't put me off." Anna replied softly, and a smile slowly smeared across my lips. "Trust me." I heard her mutter afterwards, and my heart started beating a little faster. My mind sped back to that night and I blinked as I licked my lips quickly.

"So um-- I was thinking of- going to London soon for, I dunno like, maybe a week or something. Before I start moving and stuff - you know-- a chance to...relax...get away from stuff..." I trailed off, chewing on the inside of my lip.

"Yeah, you should." Anna said simply. I picked at the arm of the couch nervously as I licked my lips again and shifted.

"I was wondering if-- when I was there if you-- wanted to- like- go for...dinner or something..." I trailed off nervously again and waited for Anna's reply.

"I'd like that, yeah." She said, and I could hear that she was smiling. "But no rushing off in the morning this time." She added with a laugh, and my eyes widened a little as I opened and closed my mouth.

"Oh! N-no I didn't mean- I wasn't saying that we'd- I-- it was a joke, I didn't--"

"It's okay." I said quickly, and heard Anna groan and laugh at the same time.

"Oh my God, this is the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had." Anna groaned, and I laughed.

"So how've you been?"

"Well um, it was actually my birthday on Sunday." She told me, and my eyebrows shot up.

"It was?! I'm sorry, I didn't know, happy birthday for Sunday." I said, immediately feeling guilty even though I had no reason to know when her birthday was. She laughed.

"It's okay, and thank you."

"So you turned...twenty-one, right?" I asked her.

"Yep. Hey, I can drink legally in America!"

I laughed. "That's true."

"...And now it sounds like I'm expecting you to invite me to America, or something. I'm not. God, what the hell is wrong with me today-"

"Anna, Anna it's fine, don't worry about it." I laughed. "So I'll have to come back soon to see you near your birthday. I need to get you a gift."

"No you don't!"

"Well I'm going to anyway."

Anna laughed. "So when do you reckon you're coming to visit?" She asked, and I bit my lip as I wished I was already on a plane over there.

"Probably within the next couple of weeks, hopefully."

"That's great, well let me know when you know for definite, yeah?"

"Of course." I smiled. After a few more minutes we both said goodbye and hung up. I was smiling widely as I let my head fall back against the back of the sofa. All I could think about was that night with Anna, and what could happen the next time I saw her.

After a few moments I got up, and made my way into the bathroom to take a cold shower.