Dusk & Summer

tom.
dec 16, 2005.
london, england.
I rubbed my tired eyes as I knocked quietly on the front door of Anna's apartment. I hadn't expected to get here this late, my plane had been delayed and the flight had taken longer than expected due to turbulence, so I was silently praying that she was still awake.

A few moments later the door opened to reveal a sleepy looking Anna with tousled hair, rubbing her tired eyes adorably as she stood in her big white dressing gown.

"Hello." She said with a sweet, sleepy smile. It was obvious she'd only just woken up. I couldn't help but smile at just how adorable she was as I stepped forward and placed my suitcase by the front door.

"Hello sleepyhead." I replied, wrapping my arms around her tightly as I pressed my lips into her hair. She sighed softly as she rested her head on my chest, snuggling into me closely as I breathed in the smell of her hair. I hadn't seen her in over a month and I'd missed her. I hadn't been able to spend my birthday with her because- well...I'd told her it was because I had to work on my birthday. But...it was really because- I hadn't actually told any of my friends or family - or Jen - that I was in a relationship with a 21 year old girl living in London.

Because that's what it was now. It was a relationship. We were officially together, which I suppose meant that Anna was my girlfriend.

Except my stomach still knotted with discomfort at the word. I hadn't had a girlfriend since, well, Jen, obviously. Jen had been my last girlfriend, three years ago, before we had got married.

"...give you your birthday present tomorrow, let's just go to sleep now." Anna was saying tiredly.

"Huh? Oh, sure." I replied, looking down at her and smiling as I stroked her wild hair. "I'm just gonna go have a shower first. I feel sweaty from the flight."

"Okay." Anna replied, leaning up and dropping a soft kiss on my lips. "Don't be long."

"I won't." I replied, heading towards the bathroom as she flicked off the lamp by the sofa.

"Oh, there's a towel for you in there already. The blue one." She told me as she made her way into her bedroom. I walked into the bathroom and, after stripping off, quickly had a shower.

As I made my way back into the living room with the towel wrapped around my waist and my clothes bundled in my hand, I knelt down by my bag and quickly found my pills. I dry swallowed two quickly before carrying all my stuff into Anna's bedroom.

The lights were off and only the glow of the street lamps outside stopped me crashing into anything.

"Annie, I can't find clean boxers in the dark-" I whispered, but she interrupted me.

"Then don't bother with them." She replied sleepily, but I could hear that she was smiling. A wide grin spread across my lips as I straightened up, suddenly feeling a bit more awake. I towel-dried myself quickly and rubbed my hair with the towel before dropping it by my bag and crossing the room to get into bed with Anna.

As I slid into bed and wrapped my arm around her from behind I began to kiss her neck, brushing back her long, unruly hair.

"I've missed you." I told her as I nuzzled below her ear. She reached up behind her and rested her hand on my cheek briefly.

"Me too." She mumbled. She sounded almost asleep. I raised my eyes to look at the digital clock illuminated on her bedside table. Almost 3am.

With a tiny, defeated sigh I kissed her neck one final time before settling down behind her, with my arm still wrapped around her.

"Goodnight Anna." I said softly, but she was already asleep.



I woke up that morning shivering violently. It was so cold. I'd forgotten how freezing England got in December.

Without opening my eyes I turned onto my side and reached out under the covers. When my fingers touched Anna's warm, sleeping body I quickly shuffled closer and wrapped myself around her, still shivering.

"Cold?" She mumbled as she began to wake up and felt my icey nose against the back of her neck. I nodded and heard her yawn as she reached up to rub her eyes. I tried to fall back to sleep but couldn't, so instead I dropped a few kisses on Anna's shoulder as I rubbed her arm under the comforter.

"Morning." I mumbled tiredly, and felt Anna turn onto her back in my arms so that she could look at me.

"Morning." She replied, dropping a soft kiss on my forehead. I slowly opened my eyes, squinting as I waited for them to adjust to the light. But there wasn't any, really.

I frowned, confused.

"What's the time?" I asked, raising my head to look over Anna at the digital clock on the night stand. "7.15? Why is it still dark out?" I asked, glancing over at the window. There was no light coming through the curtains.

"It'll start getting light about now. It's winter, the days are shorter." Anna said, yawning again as she stretched her arms.

"Why are we awake this early." I groaned, letting my head drop onto her chest. She began running her fingers through my hair absently as I raised my head and rested my chin between her breasts.

"Hey, I met you over a year ago." I suddenly observed, looking at the date on the digital clock. I felt Anna's head turn to look at the clock too.

"Oh yeah. You bought that necklace for your wife."

My stomach knotted with tension.

"Oh yeah." I replied uncomfortably, staring at the clock with unseeing eyes. After a few seconds, I tried to snap myself out of it by raising my head to look down at her.

"Didn't ever think I'd be waking up in bed with you." I told her honestly, and she smiled and nodded.

"Me neither."

I looked at her for a few moments, leaning down to kiss her softly. She raised her hand to place it on the back of my head as she kissed me back. The kiss began to get deeper and longer and I gently probed my tongue into her mouth.

Suddenly the next thing I knew, we were both panting lightly as I slid her underwear down her thighs quickly under the comforter. I set myself between her legs and reached out blindly to the bedside table, knocking off a book before I looked up.

"Don't- don't you have any-" I panted almost urgently, and Anna sat up slightly to reach over and pull open the cabinet drawer. I quickly grabbed a condom and ripped open the packet, before looking down to slide it on carefully.

After getting it on I looked up at her, still panting slightly before leaning down to kiss her. As her soft lips moved against mine I slid my right hand down her body to her hip, leaving my left elbow resting against the bed, holding me up.

I slid my hand up her left thigh, pushing it into the air and spreading her legs wider.

And then I was inside her, and we both moaned at the feel after missing each other for just over a month.

Afterwards, I collapsed down beside her on the bed, panting quickly.

"Was- was that- my birthday present." I asked between pants, and Anna laughed breathlessly before turning onto her side and curling into me. She rested her small hand on my bare, quickly rising chest as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and dropped a quick kiss on the top of her messy hair.

We lay there in comfortable silence for almost half an hour, before Anna raised her head and dropped a few soft kisses on my now-steadily rising chest.

"Let's get up." She said, and I groaned in protest. I was so comfortable, and she was keeping me so warm and I felt happier than I had done in a god awful long time.

I watched lazily as she climbed out of bed and got dressed in a plain, dark green jersey dress with thick gray tights.

"Get up, lazy boy." Anna said, leaning down to kiss me on the lips once as she tried to tame her unruly hair with a hairbrush. "I still need to give you your real birthday present."

I smiled widely, watching her, trailing my eyes up and down her figure as she left the room. After a few more minutes I got up and stretched before rooting through my suitcase for clean clothes. As I slid on a clean pair of boxers followed by some pale denim jeans, I heard someone knocking on the front door.

Mel must have forgotten the key to the flat or something, I thought as I knelt down to grab a sweater.

"Hi, Jason." I heard Anna say, and my head snapped up. Jason? Who was Jason?

I quickly pulled my gray sweater on and made my way out of Anna's bedroom. Standing in the living room was a tall, skinny guy with blonde hair and very pale skin. He was holding a large, brown parcel in his hands and his eyes immediately snapped towards me as I appeared in Anna's bedroom doorway.

We sized each other up swiftly and silently as Anna wandered over with two mugs of tea in her hands.

"Tom, this is Jason. Jason, this is Tom." She said simply with a wide, innocent smile, walking over to Jason and handing him one of the mugs. My eyes narrowed slightly as he smiled down at her.

"Thanks, Anna." He said, and his eyes flickered back towards me once before he forced himself to look away.

"Here." Anna then said as she walked towards me, placing the other mug in my hands with a smile.

"Oh- thanks." I replied, looking down at the mug before impulsively leaning down and kissing her.

"Tom, Jason lives in the flat upstairs." Anna explained as she picked up her own mug from the kitchen counter. I felt my body relax slightly but I kept my eyes on him. The way he was looking at Anna made me suspicious.

"Yeah, I was just erm- dropping this off. No one else was in when the postman delivered it so I had to sign for it." Jason said, handing Anna the parcel as she passed him to sit down on the sofa.

"Thanks, Jason, that's so sweet." She said, placing her mug on the coffee table before sitting back on the sofa and turning the parcel in her hands. She looked up and noticed that we were both still standing in exactly the same places.

"Why aren't you two sitting down?" She asked with a laugh. I quickly moved forward to take the space next to her on the sofa, while Jason hesitated slightly before sitting down in the armchair to our left.

"Jase, this isn't for me, it's for Mel." Anna said in a puzzled voice as she looked at the name on the front of the brown packaging.

"Oh, is it, I- I didn't really-- I just thought I'd bring it round--"

Yep, that does it. He definitely has a crush on her, I thought jealously, and casually slid my hand onto Anna's thigh as I leant back on the sofa, sipping my tea. I saw Jason's eyes flicker down to my hand before looking away quickly.

"Oh, that's okay. Thank you anyway." Anna said cheerfully, placing the parcel on the table before leaning back, her shoulder brushing against mine. "So how are you? What happened with that girl you were seeing- Emily, was it?"

"Oh. Yeah." Jason looked uncomfortable. "It didn't work out."

"Oh, that's a shame." Anna replied, giving him a sympathetic look. "What happened?"

"We just- didn't click. We couldn't just-- sit and talk, you know?"

He tried to give her what I assume was supposed to be a meaningful look, but Anna didn't even see. My eyes narrowed once again and I stroking her thigh with my thumb, making sure he could see.

"She only wanted me for one thing." Jason continued, giving her a look that was definitely supposed to be cocky and fake-modest at the same time.

Give it up, man. She's way out of your league, I thought viciously, knowing Anna would kill me if I said it out loud. Instead I settled on saying something else slightly more satisfying.

"I'm just gonna go make the bed, it's pretty messed up from this morning." I smirked as I squeezed Anna's thigh and stood up. Okay, so it was a cheap shot.

I glanced over at Jason as I walked towards the bedroom door and saw a bitter look contorting his face. As I stepped into Anna's room I stopped and looked at the bed. I really couldn't be bothered to make it.

I straightened out the pillows and comforter quickly, quite desparate to get back into the living room to monitor their conversation. Not in a jealous way or anything, just-- fuck it, I was jealous.

"So...what are you up to today?" Jason was asking as I walked back into the living room, directing the question at Anna and making sure not to look at me as I sat back down beside her.

"Well it was Tom's birthday on Tuesday, so I need to give him his present." Anna said, turning her head to smile widely at me. Jason simply nodded and looked away.

"That's cool. Well, I better be going. I've got to get ready for work." He said, placing his half empty mug on the coffee table and standing up.

"Oh okay, thank you for bring that package down." Anna said warmly, standing up to see him out.

"No problem. I'll see you soon." Jason replied, smiling at her. I could see him undressing her with his eyes. Horny bastard. Stop looking at my-- Anna like that.

"Nice to meet you, Tom." Jason said, looking down at me with open contempt in his eyes. I nodded and said shortly, "You too". It was undeniably clear that Jason and I already did not get along.

"Bye, Jase." Anna said, oblivious to the daggers he and I were shooting each other as she opened the front door. Jason gave her one last smile before leaving.

"I don't like him." I told her bluntly, as soon as I'd heard his footsteps retreating to the floor above.

"What?! Why not?!" Anna asked in surprise, placing the mugs in the sink and turning on the tap.

"Because, he- I just don't."

"You've barely said two words to him!"

"I know, but- he likes you!" I blurted out, pulling at the hairs on my arm nervously. Anna snorted.

"No he does not."

"Uh, yeah he does." I replied immediately, standing up and walking into the kitchen towards her. "It's really obvious, Anna. How long have you known this guy?"

"Well, since I moved in here. He's always lived in the flat above. And he's never shown the slightest interest in me in that way."

Then it was my turn to snort.

"Because he knows he doesn't stand a chance."

"Hey, don't be mean!" Anna said, turning round and smacking my chest lightly. "He does not like me in that way, Tom. He's just- a neighbour, I suppose." She shrugged, before placing her hands on her hips firmly and looking up at me with her eyebrows raised. "He's my friend."

I looked down, before glancing back up at her and pouting.

"So, I'm the only person you have a crush on, right?" I teased, wrapping my arms around her waist and dropping a short kiss on her lips. Anna laughed and raised her arms to wrap them round my neck.

"Of course." She said with a smile. "And I hope I'm the only girl that you have a crush on."

There was a minute, split-second hesitation.

"Of course." I copied her with a confident smile. And I was telling the truth. Sort of.

Still being slightly in love with your ex wife isn't the same as having a crush on someone, is it?