Don't Make This Easy, I Want You to Mean It.

" Leaning now into the breeze,
Remembering Sunday
he fell to his knees."

That one section always hit me hard. A lump in my throat. It's all about Kat. I walked off stage and headed to the bus. It was the Flordia leg of our tour. I scanned every crowd for her face, but she never came. Jack didn't though. He hardened, and finally moved on. While I'm still sitting here, with a bottle in hand mourning the love I lost. I just need to feel her one more time. I wrote all my songs about that beautiful woman, but knowing Kat she doesn't believe they are about her. I just smile at the thought of her still hearing my voice, somewhere out there. Has she forgot me?
- Alex

Kat-

I keep hearing radio advertisements for the All Time Low concert, but I dont know if I should show. When I seen them both a year ago, it didn't go very well. But time heals all wounds. Plus Jack is married. Yeah him and Holly. Ew. I shudder when I think of it. Their band plays over the speakers off my Jeep. Photographers don't make a ton in Flordia, but tourist season is a different story. I pull over to the shoulder off the road. I can't drive when my emotions take over. I ponder and hesitate, but in the end I know I have to go.
I've remained single all this time. My whole life the same two men have held my heart. It was childish. I need to think of my life seriously, no emotions or lust. But look at facts. Alex has always been there, except for mom's passing. I still question that. He offered to throw away his life for me. Jack is married, and happy. If I could would it mess his marriage up? I am no homewrecker. I know now I have to let him go. Does that mean I have to let Alex go?
My mind jumps to Kara and Roxy. I do want to see them again. Kara a beautiful mother now to three kids. I can picture Roxy now taking shots on the bus before going clubbing. I miss my girls. We fell out of contact when they went on tour. It's time to face them again, it's where I belong. My fingers itch for my phone. I can't fight this anymore.

To : Roxy Love :)
I want to come to the show tomorrow. Is it too late to get me in? I miss you boo!

My heart pounds as I wait for a reply. I pull back onto the road and head toward home. Anxiously awaiting a text. I pull up to my little two bedroom home. It serves as a office for me too. It's in a quite neighboor hood, with a pond two houses down. Beep. Oh god.

From: Roxy Love :)
Your always welcome here! I got you backstage pack. Not to be rude, but why are you coming back? Jack don't need this Kat. He moved on. Please don't start trouble.

To: Roxy Love :)
I'm not going for jack. I want to see my girls and well honestly to see Alex. How is he? Did he move on?

I throw myself onto the bed. I'm going to see him again. I'm so not prepared. All of a sudden my blonde hair now seems to yellow, and my teeth are white enough. I'm too pale. The girls Alex meets noware super models and I'm just Kat. I must look good. It's time for a salon visit.

From: Roxy love :)
Be gentle. He misses you a lot. He left Mary and writes songs about you. Can't wait to see you. XOXO. Got to go.

The Next Day

I stand outside the arena nervously passing back and forth. I wore a dress and heels for this boy. Roxy should be here any second to walk me back. I check my hair and spray tan in a compact before I gloss my lips one last time. It's time for Alex to see the new me. What if he hates me, or lost the love he once had. I shrug the doubt as I see my beautiful best friend appear.
"Are you ready?" She grabs onto my hand.
"As I will ever be. Who knows I'm coming?"
"Nobody" She sings to me as she pulls me along the series of hallways. What have I gotten into? It's too late to run I realize once Kara spots me. She darts over and engulfs me in a big hug.
"KAT!!!!" Everyone turns when they hear my name. Everyone is here. Jack, Alex, Holly, Rian, Kara, Zack. Then all of a sudden his eyes meet mine and I'm reminded why I am here. Alex.