Stay Awake.
Five
Jack, Alex and I stared down at the previously pale flesh of Jack's wrists. No longer was the canvas of his skin as white as snow, but it was now soaked with the precise shade of blood. Jack, himself, looked rather perplexed as well.
"I-I, swear I cl-cleaned it..." He stammers out, staring down at the red drops leaking from his own two forearms. It was almost like he had no idea how it had happened. Alex, however, was less caught up in a false reality. He had already tugged off his tie, and began dabbing at the wounds.
"Jack, what happened? You said that you fell onto the sidewalk." Alex says nervously, pausing a second to look up into the dimmed eyes of his boyfriend's.
The dark-haired boy nods. "I did, a-and I don't know wh-what came over me. My arms had to match, Lex. They h-had to." Jack doesn't even flinch as Alex blasts his arms with disinfectant. He pulls out a couple bandaids from his desk drawer.
"You know they don't have to, Jack. How did you do this to yourself?"
"I threw m-myself back down onto th-the sidewalk." Jack replies, his voice laced with embarrassment.
"It's okay, Jack." I say, finally piping up after my long interval of silence. Jack looks up at me, the corners of his mouth turning up. "Alex and I are here now."
"I'm g-glad you are." Jack replies. He looks back down to his boyfriend, laboring over his self inflicted wounds as though they were his own. How I knew, that if Alex could absorb all of the things that Jack's head had forced him to obsess over, he would. He would cross the universe for Jack, swim across oceans, walk barefoot through the hottest deserts. I didn't even need to think twice, for I knew that Jack felt the exact same way. "Thank you."
My heart seems to smile at the words, and I can't help but feel important. I brush off the feeling, and get back to what i should be worrying about. I give a brief nod before turning to look at Alex. "So, what do you suggest I do with Oli?"
Jack's head snaps up, his eyes wide in confusion. "Oliver Sykes? Th-That no-good pothead you u-used to date?" Jack turns to Alex, with a look that simply screams, 'You need to do something about this.'
Alex nods carefully. "That's the one. And, you're all done, Jacko." He helps the frail boy off of his chair, and stands him up, immediately pulling him into his side. Both pairs of beautiful brown eyes bore into my own as I argued with myself on what I should say.
"He's back." I say softly. That seemed to be the best answer. It was the truth, as well as not being too blunt about it all at the same time. If Jack knew I'd been 'canoodled' by Oliver in the back of the classroom only minutes before, he'd surely have another anxiety attack. I was doing this for his own good.
"Kellin," Jack's soft voice pulls me out of my trance. "He...he hit you."
I nod dumbly, unknowing of what to say next. How does someone tell their friends that they love someone who beats on them all the time? Well, I suppose he never really beat me all the time. Only every two days or so, and everyone had been used to seeing the blood-filled bruises loitering on my body. No one said anything anymore. Except, Alex and Jack.
"I love him though." I reply flatly, glancing out the window to find the devil himself out sitting under the willow tree. Our, willow tree. I questioned myself whether or not he had been waiting for me, or whether he was just bored and needed to get out of the sun. Either way, neither seemed to effect me, and I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.
I was idling. I no longer felt human, just a numb empty corpse wandering the Earth, looking for someone that I do not know. If I catch my own glance in a mirror, I can't help but shudder. The icy depths that are my irises chill me to the very bone, the thought of the sheer emptiness inside them never leaving my head. I quite often found myself wondering if I would ever be able to lighten them up. Perhaps bring the fire back into the abyss, and light up the worlds around my own.
"I-I, swear I cl-cleaned it..." He stammers out, staring down at the red drops leaking from his own two forearms. It was almost like he had no idea how it had happened. Alex, however, was less caught up in a false reality. He had already tugged off his tie, and began dabbing at the wounds.
"Jack, what happened? You said that you fell onto the sidewalk." Alex says nervously, pausing a second to look up into the dimmed eyes of his boyfriend's.
The dark-haired boy nods. "I did, a-and I don't know wh-what came over me. My arms had to match, Lex. They h-had to." Jack doesn't even flinch as Alex blasts his arms with disinfectant. He pulls out a couple bandaids from his desk drawer.
"You know they don't have to, Jack. How did you do this to yourself?"
"I threw m-myself back down onto th-the sidewalk." Jack replies, his voice laced with embarrassment.
"It's okay, Jack." I say, finally piping up after my long interval of silence. Jack looks up at me, the corners of his mouth turning up. "Alex and I are here now."
"I'm g-glad you are." Jack replies. He looks back down to his boyfriend, laboring over his self inflicted wounds as though they were his own. How I knew, that if Alex could absorb all of the things that Jack's head had forced him to obsess over, he would. He would cross the universe for Jack, swim across oceans, walk barefoot through the hottest deserts. I didn't even need to think twice, for I knew that Jack felt the exact same way. "Thank you."
My heart seems to smile at the words, and I can't help but feel important. I brush off the feeling, and get back to what i should be worrying about. I give a brief nod before turning to look at Alex. "So, what do you suggest I do with Oli?"
Jack's head snaps up, his eyes wide in confusion. "Oliver Sykes? Th-That no-good pothead you u-used to date?" Jack turns to Alex, with a look that simply screams, 'You need to do something about this.'
Alex nods carefully. "That's the one. And, you're all done, Jacko." He helps the frail boy off of his chair, and stands him up, immediately pulling him into his side. Both pairs of beautiful brown eyes bore into my own as I argued with myself on what I should say.
"He's back." I say softly. That seemed to be the best answer. It was the truth, as well as not being too blunt about it all at the same time. If Jack knew I'd been 'canoodled' by Oliver in the back of the classroom only minutes before, he'd surely have another anxiety attack. I was doing this for his own good.
"Kellin," Jack's soft voice pulls me out of my trance. "He...he hit you."
I nod dumbly, unknowing of what to say next. How does someone tell their friends that they love someone who beats on them all the time? Well, I suppose he never really beat me all the time. Only every two days or so, and everyone had been used to seeing the blood-filled bruises loitering on my body. No one said anything anymore. Except, Alex and Jack.
"I love him though." I reply flatly, glancing out the window to find the devil himself out sitting under the willow tree. Our, willow tree. I questioned myself whether or not he had been waiting for me, or whether he was just bored and needed to get out of the sun. Either way, neither seemed to effect me, and I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.
I was idling. I no longer felt human, just a numb empty corpse wandering the Earth, looking for someone that I do not know. If I catch my own glance in a mirror, I can't help but shudder. The icy depths that are my irises chill me to the very bone, the thought of the sheer emptiness inside them never leaving my head. I quite often found myself wondering if I would ever be able to lighten them up. Perhaps bring the fire back into the abyss, and light up the worlds around my own.