An Idiot’s Guide to Not Falling in Love with Your Best Friend’s Girlfriend

A soft haze filled my vision as I basked in feeling of my buzz. The restaurant we had gone to happened to serve alcohol and we were all several shots deep by the time our food had arrived from the kitchen.

“Your eyes are so pretty, Luke. I wish my eyes were pretty,” Michael might have been even more intoxicated than I was but due to my own inebriation, it was pretty difficult for me to tell. “They’re like the ocean,” he continued, “blue.”

This comment elicited a loud round of laughter from the Ash, Cal and Mae. I had tried not to get so drunk that I couldn’t control my actions or lose my speaking filter, but Ashton kept ordering rounds and I got closer to being totally shit canned.

I didn’t know the difference between drunk Mae and sober Mae, probably because I had just met her the other day, but drunk Mae was quite a bit of fun. Rather than being clingy and hanging all over Calum, she laughed at our crudeness and made jokes with all of us. I got the feeling that there was more to her. That she didn’t end at begin at Calum Hood, but rather she had her own life, and did exciting and thrilling things that she could be proud of in her own right. I could have been totally wrong, but I strongly believed that dating Calum Hood wouldn’t be the thing Mae would be known for in this world.

“What do you do, Mae?” I asked, slamming the shot glass down on the table. “The rest of the boys may know you , but I’ve got no idea about any part of your life.”

“Calum doesn’t talk about you! He hates you!” Michael shouted and burst into maniacal laughter.

“This one’s a bit of a lightweight, eh?” Mae questioned, motioning to Michael, “we’ve only had a couple of shots and he’s pretty well gone.”

“I’m not a lightweight!” He shouted in return, picking up his most recent shot glass and licking the inside.

“You’re right, Mikey. I’m sorry, you’re a big strong man!” She cooed, and smiled as the waitress came and picked up our empty shot glasses.

“Another round?” the girl asked, “my boss has just discovered who you are and this one is on her.

She might even comp your meal. I’d take it if I were you, she’s a real fuck and it would be fantastic to see her pay up.”

Mae laughed and turned her attention to the waitress. “That bad? We’ve got you, girl. We’ll take that round, and maybe a few more.” Mae winked and the waitress smiled approvingly and disappeared.

“Back to your question, Mr. Luke. What I do is a little bit of quite a few things. I work for a web magazine and my primary job is to keep our website up and running. I write a bit of content though, when it’s necessary. I’ve also taken the reigns for our social media and graphic design as well.”

“Calum,” Ashton spoke, turning to the dark haired boy sitting next to him, “I can’t believe you’ve found someone that is intelligent and that she has actually stayed with you. You are an absolute idiot.”

Laughter filled the booth. Mae spoke more about her job and I learned a more about her life as well. Ashton was correct, she was very intelligent and it really was surprising that she had settled for Calum.

“The food!” A drunk Michael sang as plates of Mexican food were sat in front of each of us. I noted that Mae and I had ordered the same meal.

“Nice choice, the burritos are excellent here,” she said, looking across the table at me.

Even in the dimly lit restaurant, her eyes shined. Maybe it was a drunken gloss, but they were bright nonetheless.

“I love them,” I responded lightly, trying to play it cool, “best burritos in the city.”

“What about you, Luke Hemmings?” She asked, slicing a section of the burrito with her fork. “I don’t know near as much about you as I do about the other boys. What are your aspirations?”

“That is a deep question over drunken Mexican.” Calum stated, shoving a large forkful of food into his mouth.

“This. I am living the life I want to live. Making music with my best friends is what I’ve always wanted to. Life is good.”

Her smile was genuine, “I’m glad. You guys are important to a lot of people. I’m really happy you don’t take the amazing opportunities you’ve been given for granted.”

“Enough! Can we get back to shots? I’m really over this sappy shit. Luke’s goals are food and sex anyway and he’s only getting half at the moment so his life isn’t that great!” Michael’s head lunged forward and came back up at the last minute before slamming into his food.

“You are so drunk. Maybe we should take a break from those shots? Also, there is more in my life that I care about than food and sex!”

Another round of shots arrived and we took them right away. The night was becoming a blur and I seriously hoped I wouldn’t do anything I might regret.

***

“I think I threw up an entire taco, not chewed up or anything. It was whole and it was mean.” Michael held his head as he entered the living room.

I sat on the couch, texting my brother and watching some trash TV that was on.

“How are you feeling, Michael?” Mae entered the room and asked, trying to keep her voice lower than normal.

“Not well.”

“You’ll be OK. Take some headache medicine and go back to sleep for a bit. Bye guys! Have a good day!”

She disappeared out the door, leaving only the faint scent of her perfume behind. Calum came downstairs shortly after and took a seat next to me.

“Are you trying to maybe date someone seriously?”

“No. Why?”

“Mae has a friend she thinks would be perfect for you. She wants to double so it won’t be so awkward. I told her you probably wouldn’t be into but she’s insisting.”

“Is the friend hot?”

“I have no idea, never met her.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Luke, come on, it wouldn’t kill you to actually spend some time with a girl that doesn’t end in you removing her clothing.”

“Fine. If I hate her, she and Mae have to makeout in front of us for a solid ten minutes.”

A smirk formed on Calum’s lips.

“Deal.”

“I don’t think you can make that deal for her,” Michael chimed in as he made his way upstairs, “if it happens, please take a video.”

The thought of watching Mae kiss another girl was arousing to say the least. But the thought of Mae’s lips on literally any part of my body was much, much better.

“I’m planning on hating her, just so you know.”