Beyond the Sea

“You!” I pointed at him and walked towards him. He threw his arms in the air defensively.

“You fucking little idiot.” I shouted. He stopped in his tracks so that I was only inches away from me. “What?” he questioned while throwing his hands in the air. “You fucking set this up didn’t you!”

He laughed, and loosened his tie. What, were we getting comfortable now? “You really think I set this up?” I huffed and nodded while placing a hand on my hip.

“What do you think.” I scoffed.

He laughed and pushed himself closer to me, so his grip was firm on my waist. I wanted to pull back, but it just felt right being in his arms again.

“I think that you had something to do with this.” I growled and pulled his arms away. “Why would I do that?” I exclaimed.

“I don’t know maybe because you read my messages.” he said while smirking. I raise an eyebrow.

“What message. I never got a fucking message from you.” I unlocked my phone and showed him the messages, nothing from him there. His smirk turned into a frown and he furrowed his eyebrows together. “Sophie, did you ever leave your phone alone today?”

“Yeah, I left it in the kitchen this morning when I went to take a shower.”

“Put the the pieces together.” It took me a minute before I actaully realize what he was talking about. Phone, messages, shower, Michelle, closet, Nathan……

I gasped. “I’m going to kill her.” I yelled out in frustration. Nathan chuckled as he took of his blazer and placed it onto the counter. “What the hell do you think your doing?”

“Getting comfterble.” he said bluntly. I raised an eyebrow. ”Why?”

He sighed and shook his head. “Do you really think Michelle is going to let us go that easily? We both know how persistent she can get, after she read those messages there’s no turning her back.”

I leaned against the wall and let my eyes trail carelessly on him. “What exactly did you say in those messages?” His eyes caught with mine, as if he was debating with himself over something.

“Nothing.” he mumbled. I sighed, knowing that there was no other choice but to let him stay silent.

I slid down the wall and just looked up him, both of us knowing that this situation was growing more and more intense.

“Why?” I whispered, while looking down and my hands. “What” he said.

“Why did this, have to start.” I said a little bit louder. ”What do you mean why did ‘this’ have to start.” I heard him say through gritted teeth.I looked up and saw that he was now sat on the counter.

“This! The kissing, the lying, the sex, the anger, the emotions, the lust. Fucking everything.” I yelled, now clearly frustrated with myself.

“Yeah, we’ll it takes two to tango.” he said bitterly. “Oh don’t start with that bullshit Nathan. You do this every single time. You act like you did nothing fucking wrong. You act like its the most innocent thing in the world to cheat on your fiancée.”

By this time, I was now stood up and shouting at him. What was he doing? Sitting on the counter like nothing was going on. “Like I give a flying fuck.” he shouted.

“You know exactly what you were getting yourself into since the beginning Sophie.” I stayed quite. He was right. I did know exactly that something like this was probably going to turn out, but I was just to blind to notice it.

“If you didn’t want anything to do with me, than you could of backed out since day one.”

I walked over towards the door, and started banging on it hoping that maybe someone would hear us and let me loose. After many minutes of banging, and no luck, I just gave up. I turned my body and rested it against the door. Nathan was still sat there swinging his legs back and fourth.

“I never thought we were going to end up like this Nath.” I laughed sarcastically.

I had so many questions running through my head. Like why did I even do it. Why was he so okay with cheating on Dionne. Why did he get engaged with her. Why he kissed me on my birthday, why I started my fake relationship with Jay? Did I still have feeling for Nathan? Did he still have feeling for me? Was it just sex, lust, or passion?

Why?

“What do you mean end up like this.” he spat.

“As in, we’re both on the verge killing each other.” I shouted. He gave me blank stare and shrugged his shoulders. “Who said I ever wanted to kill you.”

“Oh stop being such I cocky bastard.” I shouted in agony. Not being able to take this anymore, I walked towards the wine cabinet. I took two glasses and a bottle of white wine, I grabbed a stool in the process as well. I sat on the stool and popped open the bottle, I poured myself a glass and then chugged it down. I then poured myself another one, and one for Nathan. He grabbed it from my hand and began drinking. I leaned back in my chair and eyed him intensively.

It was time to set all the cards on the table. Everything had to be answered, everything since day one.

“Why me?” he turned his gaze towards me and bit his lip. “I just couldn’t resist you. Everything’s about you. Your touch, your laugh, the way you talk, the way that you make me go insane. The way way that you kiss me. Everything about you.”

“Okay, why did you cheat on her?” I saw his body go tense. “I wasn’t thinking really. Ever since I first kissed you, I know that I needed more of you. I needed wanted to feel you under my touch, I wanted you.”

I felt my heart flutter as he said all these things about me. No man has ever said anything like this about me before. And too be quite honest, I kind of like it.

“No, it’s my turn. Did you ever get jealous.” I nodded while looking down because I felt those tears starting to fall free all over again. “Day and night. Every time I see the way the you look at her, I just wanna run away. But I shouldn’t be like that, because she’s with you and not me.” this time I looked up at him. His features softened at the sight of me crying.

“Remember my last night in New York?” I nodded as he asked me the question. “Why did you say don’t start what you can’t finish?”

I et a big gulp run through my neck and felt my stomach turn. “Because, after those two weeks. I thought that I was never going too see you again. I thought that our time was over, I never actually thought that I was going to be in London. But look at me now.” I said while gesturing the room. He nodded and looked down.

”Why didn’t you ever keep in touch with me?” I asked while hearing my voice crack knowing this was a touchy subject. Not once did he call, text, tweet me. I wasn’t expecting anything, but after everything that we went thought together, something, like that would be nice.

“I was scared too. I was scared of breaking your heart again.” I stopped him right then and there. I stood up from my seat, and tears were streaming down my face. I walked right up to him and pointed my finger right up against his chest. “But you already fucking broke me heart. Didn’t you ever reliaze that you already broke me.” I shouted in between sobs. I collapsed against his chest and started crying into his cheat. He started stroking my hair and tried to soothe me.

We stood like that for at least ten minutes. He tried calming me down by telling me sweet things,running his hands through my hair or stroking my back. But really I was crying because I just realized how much I missed him doing these little things to me.

I looked up at him and saw the he was trying to hold back his own tears. But when our eyes met, one tear escaped. I wiped it away with my thumb and placed a kissed on his cheek. He pulled up onto counter so that I was now sat on it and he was in between me. I started outlining every inch of his face. I leaned down and placed a kiss on his nose.

“Why did you propose to her.” he looked up am and gave me sky smile. “Do you really wanna know?”

I nodded and began running my hands through his hair. This is how I liked us to be, not being sarcastic and rude towards each other.

“I needed to you off my mind. I needed something to get over the fact that maybe I was never going to see you again. I only proposed to her because I needed to get her off my mind.”

I inhaled a sharp breathe and pushed myself a little it back at him. He looked at me confused and shook my head. “How could you do that to her.”

“I thought you were okay with it.”

I scrunched up my nose and shook my head once again. “How do you think I would feel if I was engaged to someone just because he needed to get over another girl, huh?”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. I’ve never been so disappointed in someone else I’m my entire life. His was just crossing the line now.

“Yeah we’ll what about you and Jay.” I gasped and looked at him with anger in my eyes. “What I’m doing with Jay is completely different.”

“What do you mean doing. You guys are dating right.” I cursed in under my breathe and looked at Nathan who was staring at me.

“Okay Jay and I, really aren’t dating.” I said while quoting dating with my hands. “He kind of knows what happened between us.” I said while looking down at my feet.

“What the fuck Sophie?” I looked up at him and saw that he know has gotten off the counter.

“I told him when I was completely drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing! I swear!” I threw my hands up in the air defensively.

“So what now? All the he wants to do is shag you.” I tilted my head in offense.

“No, Nathan! He wanted to help me to help to try to get you back.” He looked down and stood their awkardly .

“He tried to get me to win you back. He told me that you would never cheat on someone that other person means something to them….. But I’m guessing he was wrong.”

Just then the door opened, and it revealed to be a very sorry looking Michelle. I’m guessing she heard everything. “The doors unlocked now.” she said, she mumbled that she was sorry before walking out again.

I stood their looking at Nathan, hie didn’t give me a response. Maybe he didn’t care about me anymore? Maybe he was just trying to find an easy way out of this.

Maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.

I couldn’t take it anymore, instead I just started walking out towards the door. I was about to turn the knob when he spoke up. “Wait.” he said.

I didn’t turn around, I just stayed there holding onto the knob. I could hear his breathing go uneven, and I let a tear trickle down my cheek. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t walk out of that door right now, Nathan one reason.” he stayed silent, not a single word left his mouth. I was about to turn the handle when he spoke up.

“Because I love you.”