Cancer

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded

I was laying in my own bed and sighed, I was so tired, and I dunno why since I’ve just slept for merely an hour ago. But my eye lids are so heavy, like there’s stones on my eye lids and my head feels heavy too, like my head or brain is made out of some kind of really heavy metal of some sort. And I’m feeling like I’m boiling but I can’t remove the duvet from my body, my arms feels too heavy for that.
“Ashley” I whispered dryly.
Ashley, who were standing by the end of the bed and folding clothes walked over to me.
“Yes Andy?” He replied worriedly.
“I’m thirsty,” I whispered dryly.
Ashley left the bedroom, and came back with a glass of water and helped me drinking it.
“Thanks” I whispered and tried to smile at Ashley.

Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Ashley had called the doctor and he was checking me. He mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear what.
The doctor looked at Ashley with sorrowful eyes and said.
“He has cancer, and he has had it for a while, so you’re pretty late, but maybe the chemo will help”
Ashley gasped, and looked at the doctor with horror.
The doctor called an ambulance and left.

I looked at Ashley, who had tears in his eyes.
“Come here” I whispered and lifted my arms, though it took a lot of strength and energy.
Ashley ran into my arms and cried into my shoulder.
I hugged him and tried to comfort him the best I could.
“Andy, I love you” Ashley said with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“I love you too” I whispered.
“Please kiss me” Ashley said with pleading eyes.
I shook my head slowly.
“No” I whispered.
“Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you” I whispered and looked into his eyes.

Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo

I was now laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to different machines and other stuff.
I had lost my hair, my eyebrows, even my body hair. I’ve lost all my hair.
I don’t like it, that I don’t have hair. I’m awful. I don’t understand how Ashley still thinks I’m beautiful.

I sighed in agony and looked at the sleeping Ashley next to me in a chair.
I’ve always wanted to have a life with him.
Before I got sick, I had planned to propose to him this spring, but now that I have cancer, I’ll never get the opportunity. I’ll never get to be married with the love of my life or adopt a kid, or live in our dream house.

I sighed and looked out the window. After I’ve gotten chemo I’ve been feeling sick.
I keep having nausea and I’m even vomiting. Heck, I even have cramps in my abdomen.
I’m just soggy from the chemo, but it sucks. I really hate it.

But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

It has now been a couple of days, and I’m counting them.
I’m counting every single day, that I’m living.

“I just want it to end, I can’t do this.
I can’t live this life, just being trapped in a hospital and getting chemo, day in and day out.
And nearing my death for each day, for each breath I take. I hope you understand” I said and looked at Ashley.
“I do, but. I can’t live without you. I need you by my side” Ashley said, on the verge on tears.
“I know babe, but I’m already dead. I won’t survive this. The chemo won’t help” I said and caressed Ashley’s cheek.

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

“Ashley, I want my life to end, but, can you say the last goodbyes?” I said.
“Yes..” Ashley said, a little nervous.
“Please, tell me the truth. Can you say the last goodbyes, today?”
“No, no I can’t” Ashley said.
“But you will, cause today I’ll die” I said and closed my eyes.
“But know this, the hardest part of this is leaving you” I said and then everything went black
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you