I'm Not Insane (Heaven Help Me)

Gerard looked at the picture in his hands and turned in surprise to Savanna. “I never thought my eyes were that beautiful before…” Mikey stared at the picture “It’s almost as if they feel nothing… like there is no expression of any emotion…” Savanna nodded. “That’s why I had to draw them.” She turned to Gerard. “Sorry… I’m afraid I don’t do them justice… It’s just a sketch anyway…” The guys sitting around her stared at her in disbelief. Bob was the first to put a voice to his complaint. “How can you say that? This picture is fucking perfect man!” They all laughed and nodded in agreement, all except for Gerard. He just continued to stare at her. Ray and Mikey noticed. Mikey pushed up on his brother’s jaw so that he closed his mouth while he was laughing at the way his brother was staring at Savanna. Ray laughed and said. “Dude I know that this chick is extraordinary but really your probably creeping her out.” Gerard stopped staring and the whole group laughed while Gerard looked playfully mad. He tackled Ray and his brother took the opportunity to climb on top of him. Bob quickly sat on top of the pile and Frank lay down in his lap while Savanna laughed until she thought she was going to die. Soon Ray decided that he was done with being squashed and he bucked upwards which sent all of them flying off him. He got up off the ground and shook his fro as if he wasn’t sure if they had deflated it. Savanna was rolling around on the floor laughing her ass off and she was soon joined by all of the guys who sat there where they had landed laughing like maniacs. Ray had to try to calm her down while she had a coughing/laughing fit. All the guys got a little bit worried and they tried to make her stop. They ended up on the floor lying down staring up at the ceiling in a sort of cliche circle of newly found friends. Bob was the first one to ask the question that she knew she would have to answer eventually: “Why are you here?” The others sat up and looked at her as if they were all contemplating that very question. “I see things and they make me angry. I scream, I break things and I hurt myself.” She muttered quietly. Why was she embarrassed to admit that she was insane when people in a mental institution surrounded her? Frank just nodded slowly and Mikey asked, “What type of things do you see?” As if it wasn’t weird at all. “Ghosts,” she said with a frown that dragged down her brows and knitted them together. “ I think that I can see my mother and father.” A single tear rolled down her cheek before she could squeeze her eyes shut. It was the first time she had cried since her sister had left her all alone with her parents. Suddenly she felt two arms around her, then four, then six, and now eight, now ten. She had been wrapped in one giant group hug. It was quite funny to see the looks on their faces but her eyes were not open to see them. She took in the warmth that had consumed her and all her emotions. But the hug just made her cry harder… this was the first hug she had received since her sister left. Her parents had never wanted to touch her. Savanna now knew that they never would. She had been placed in a mental institution… she didn’t know why she felt the icy cold grip of the voices hands but she did… she didn’t know why she was pushed down stairs after feeling the chilling breath of someone who was never there but she did. She finally pulled away from the hug as if she was repelled by the memories it brought back. “ But I’m just some crazy chick that you hardly even know!” she protested. “We’re all crazy chicks in here.” Said Bob with a ghost of a smile on his face. “Amen!” came from a chuckling Frank.