You Can't Push It Underground

“So how was Pete?” Brendon questions.

“Same as the other guys,” Frank shrugs.

“Are you even trying?” Brendon asks.

“I am!”

“Try a little harder. Especially for this guy, your next date, is just, wow. So I might be in love with him myself.”

“Oh?” Frank asks, liking how giddy Brendon sounds.

“Yep, I met your date for tonight at the bar yesterday,” Brendon starts.

“I gathered that. What about him?” Frank questions.

“Well I almost fainted. I didn’t know that humans came in such pretty packaging. He’s a phenomenal prototype. It’s almost a shame that he’s gay, because he really needs to spread his genes.”

“God, you sound so stupid when you say things like that. Like a preteen girl. So what’s this guys’ name? I’d like to know if I’m going out with him in a few hours,” Frank says, seeing that it’s pushing on noon already.

“Gerard,” Brendon says, and Frank can see Brendon smiling even over the phone. There’s a wicked glint to it that he doesn’t understand.

“And what is so special about this Gerard guy?”

“Oh trust me, you’ll figure it out when you meet him. I’m not going to tell you what he looks like, because I think it’s safe to say, you’ll know him when you see him.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Frank asks.

“Just trust me on this. I have a good feeling about Gerard.”

“You had a good feeling about the last guys too.”

“Gerard is different. He’s special, just you wait until you see him.”

“Alright mister optimist, I’m preparing to prove you wrong,” Frank says, cracking his knuckles ceremoniously.

“I’m not saying it’s going to work out with you two, I just definitely think he’s going to hold your attention. Hot damn was he a good looking bloke,” Brendon says dreamily.

“You have a boyfriend,” Frank states.

“I’d be open to polyamory if this guy was involved,” Brendon says, and then snorts, “Obviously that was a joke. I talked a lot to him, and he’s not exactly rude, but he’s no Patrick.”

“I look forward to meeting him,” Frank says dryly, because he doesn’t actually care the slightest bit about ‘Gerard.’

“You should be. God, I am excited! Is that stupid? I think I did a good job on this one, I have a really good feeling about him that I didn’t have with the others.”

“Don’t you think you’re overselling him a bit?” Frank points out.

“Shit, you’re right. You’re right, I’m overhyping him. He’s disgusting. Smells like rotten fish. Horrible personality, face that should have a paper bag over it. There, better?”

“He sounds delightful,” Frank answers.

“What do you want from me?” Brendon exasperates.

“I’m just teasing you, bro. I’m sure he’s fine!”

~*~*~*~

Frank arrives at the coffee place earlier than he’d intended to. He’s almost ten minutes early, which is weird for him. He just orders himself a coffee and resigns to waiting for Gerard. Frank finds a spot at a table in the corner and grabs a newspaper to keep his mind busy while he waits. There’s no one in here that could possibly be Gerard, because their either far too old or female.

A heterosexual couple walk in and place orders for themselves. Frank realizes after a few minutes that this is a pretty busy hub, because there’s more rowdiness then you typically see in a little coffee place.

There’s several people hiding him from view of the door, and Frank worries that his date’s already here, but he hasn’t even noticed. Frank’s definitely not worried that the guy came in, saw him, and left, because Frank is pretty good looking.

At long last a guy enters the coffee shop, and Brendon was right. He knows immediately that this guy is Gerard, because there’s no chance it isn’t him.

Wouldn’t you know it, the son of a bitch has bright red hair. Brendon actually found him a guy with bright red hair. He must be so proud of himself, the cheeky little fuck.

He’s an incredibly noticeable guy. For one thing his hair is a siren, but apart from that, he’s also one of the prettiest guys Frank’s seen in months. He’s got these eyes that are probably made from the essence of puppies, and oh man his face is well constructed. He’s the kind of guy who really just needs to give his parents a good hug, because they did a good job on him.

Frank looks at him and he looks around nervously. Frank kind of wishes he had a giant piece of paper with Gerard’s name on it like the kind that chauffeurs who meet people at airports use. Then he’d hold it up and Gerard would go over to him.

Frank slouches down in his seat slightly, because he distinctly remembers telling Brendon not to find someone more attractive than him. Frank’s not a boastful guy, but he’s comfortable with the way he looks, and he is aware that he’s attractive, but he’s not positive that Gerard isn’t better looking. Gerard could win a beauty pageant, and he isn’t even a chick.

Frank looks down at himself and straightens his clothes before standing up. He also pats down his hair, and takes a deep breath before walking over to where Gerard is now standing.

“Uh, Gerard?” Frank says, going up to him, and he turns and looks at Frank before responding.

“Frank?” he says.

“Mhm, yeah, I’m Frank. Can I just say, like before I say anything else, that wow, you are fucking gorgeous.”

Gerard’s eyes widen and his face flushes a pink color. Frank just grins at him, because there’s not much that could ruin that face. His hair is messy and windswept, his eyebrows strong and dark compared to the pale skin they’re against.

“Didn’t mean to embarrass you or anything, but if you didn’t realize that, then I’ve got some news for you bro,” Frank says, a little more amused than he should be. Frank, of course, has never really been one for being shy so sometimes he forgets how his personality is a little bewildering when he first meets people.

“Uh, sorry, just not how most people introduce themselves,” Gerard says.

“Well I’m not most people. I’m better than most people, and much more modest,” Frank jokes, and Gerard seems to get a little less uncomfortable, though he doesn’t necessarily ease up.

“I mean, you too. You’re... yeah,” Gerard says awkwardly.

“Oh I know, but it’s nice to hear it from other people,” Frank says grinning, and he raises an eyebrow at Gerard. “You wanna sit down?”

“Uh, I’m going to get a coffee first, but then I’ll join you,” Gerard says, pointing to the counter.

Frank nods, and goes back to his seat, but now he can’t stop looking at Gerard. He’s just so blindingly attractive that Frank would be hard-pressed not to.

Gerard walks over and awkwardly sits down next to Frank a few minutes later, hair drooping down to cover his eye.

“Hi, so uh, hi,” Gerard says, and Frank can’t help but smile, because he’s so awkward. It’s adorable.

“I never know how to start conversation on these,” Frank states, though that may not be exactly true. He’s usually good with conversation, but he doesn’t want to make Gerard uncomfortable for some reason.

Gerard looks at his hand and starts talking to his fingers rather than Frank, “I mean, I don’t do the whole blind dating thing. I think it’s stupid and cliché, but my brother is getting married, and he wants me to have a guest for the wedding. I think he just pities me, because I’ve had a really rocky relationship with my ex. I guess I haven’t had a real boyfriend in years, because I’ve been too caught up in that drama.”

“Me neither,” Frank says, “For other reasons, but it’s still true. I’m not the blind dating type either. Or really the dating type. My friend and I made a bet though. I have these really nosy neighbors, who are always knocking on my door, and trying to convert me to their religion or something, it’s driving me insane. So anyway he bet that he could find me the perfect guy who’d chase away my neighbors.”

“Well you’ve come to the wrong place. I ain’t chasing off any neighbors,” Gerard says, and Frank nods completely understanding.

“This is why I took the bet. I’m going to win, and then he buys me a sweet security system to scare them away, hopefully.”

“Is that the same friend who was talking you up last night? Big forehead? Massive mouth?”

“Yep, that would be Brendon. So how does Brendon know you?”

“Um, a friend of a friend of a friend of my brother. I talked a lot with him last night. He seemed... energetic?”

“Fuck, he’s an annoying bastard. As a joke, I told him to find someone with bright red hair, and he’s probably laughing so hard right now, because look at you,” Frank says, gesturing to Gerard’s hair, and he grins.

He’s got a cute smile. His teeth are kind of small, but Frank doesn’t really care. All Frank can think about is how he bets Gerard looks fantastic while blowing a guy.

“Is the hair everything you ever imagined?” Gerard asks.

“I didn’t think Brendon would take me seriously, I mean obviously. I was just trying to give him impossible traits, but there you go, and you look pretty great with vibrant red hair. I wouldn’t have thought it’d look good, but here you are, so there’s your proof,” Frank says, once again bluntly calling Gerard good looking. It makes him blush again.

About half an hour passes and Frank manages to get Gerard to ease up a bit, though he still seems a little uneasy being near Frank. Maybe Frank just has an unsettling aura, but he doubts it. It’s never been a problem for him before, so it’s probably just that he and Gerard don’t really click. It’s all as well he doesn’t click any more than the rest of the guys he’s seen.

Brendon had been so confident about Gerard, but it just doesn’t seem like it’s going to work. Part of Frank wishes Gerard would be a little freer then he is. He likes the guy well enough, but the problem is that it doesn’t seem to be mutual. That’s fine for Frank, it doesn’t happen often to him, but if Gerard isn’t interested then he doesn’t want to waste his time.

“Excuse me for calling it out, but Gerard, you don’t seem to be really into this. It’s like you’re half gone.”

“What?” Gerard asks, looking up in surprise, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just... have you ever been on a hook with an ex?”

“Nope,” Frank says, “I don’t let anyone play with my emotions besides me.”

“So then you don’t understand. I guess I’m just distracted,” Gerard says.

“Ugh, sounds complicated. From what I’ve heard you’re on-again off again?” Frank asks, and Gerard nods, “Well how long has that been going on?”

“About two years.”

“Yeesh. Sounds like you need some major detox.”

“How so?” Gerard asks.

“Well do you want to get over him? I’m no therapist but it sounds unhealthy to keep someone in a position like that. Where they just keep going back,” Frank says.

“Well how do you know I shouldn’t get back together with him?”

“Well, let’s face it. I’m not a marriage guy, never have been, probably never will be, but do you see yourself having a future with the dude?” Frank asks, “Like do you want to be with him for a long time?”

“I guess not,” Gerard says.

“I figured if you really were addicted to him or whatever, than you wouldn’t have agreed to go out on a date with a stranger.”

“So what are you saying? Subconsciously I don’t want to get back with him?” Gerard asks.

“I just said I’m no therapist, but I’m smartish. Not overly, but I’m not an idiot. I’d say that you do probably like him, but that you would be better off without him,” Frank replies honestly.

“And where do I belong then?” Gerard asks, apparently thinking that Frank is hitting on him, which isn’t exactly wrong.

“Well, I guess I could try giving you an answer,” Frank says, grinning, because this is one thing he is good at, and knows a lot about.

“What?” Gerard asks.

“What do you mean what?”

“I meant what.”

“That’s not very helpful,” Frank says.

Gerard makes a face, “Were you coming onto me?”

“I wasn’t not coming onto you.”

“So you were?” Gerard asks. He doesn’t seem to understand basic human conversation, because Frank literally just said that. It’s not that hard a concept to grasp. Gerard is attractive and Frank is not blind to that.

“If you want to get technical,” Frank replies.

“I am not going to sleep with you,” Gerard states strongly.

“That’s a shame,” Frank sighs, “You are really pretty.”

“But we just met,” Gerard states.

“That’s usually how I roll. I don’t really like getting emotions involved. I am more in touch with my animalistic side then I am with my sentimental.”

“That’s alright for you, but I’m not like that,” Gerard says.

“I won’t argue, I value consent, but it is still a bummer.”

“Why is that?” Gerard asks.

“Because... I don’t know, it just is, you’re really hot.”

“So what?” he asks, not getting it,

“Well usually I have sex with hot people,” Frank responds.

Gerard raises his eyebrows, disapprovingly, “so you’re upset that I’m ‘hot’ and won’t sleep with you?”

Frank feels a little attacked, so he says his piece as truthfully as he can, “Well, hot guys just usually say yes. I’m just not used to people saying no.”

“And you’re so pretentious that you don’t care about someone’s personality? All you care is if a person looks good? Is that you’re only criteria for a fuck?”

“I guess. I mean, call me pretentious or snobby, but I just don’t do relationships. It’s not my thing, so I don’t really care about people’s personalities if I’m going to sleep with them. You don’t really strike up a lot of conversation when you’re doing a guy,” Frank says, “I know that I never really want it to go any further than just that, so I don’t really care how nice or compatible a guy is.”

“I don’t mean to insult you, it’s your life, but how do you live like that?” Gerard asks.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“That’s pretty ridiculous to me. I’ve only ever slept with three guys. Ever.”

“Ever?” Frank asks, gobsmacked that anyone could have had so few experiences sexually. Frank doesn’t see himself as a slut, because it’s his own body image that counts, but three just seems like an absurd number.

“Yes, ever. I only sleep with people I like. People who I’m dating,” Gerard says, looking at Frank just as incredulously as he’s looking at him.

“But... but don’t you like sex?” Frank asks.

“’Course I do, but only when it’s with someone I’m comfortable enough to have sex with,” Gerard says, “Some people have a number of dates rule. For me, I never have sex until at least six dates.”

“How do you even live like that?” Frank asks, astonished.

“I just do,” Gerard replies, shrugging.

“Okay. I’ll leave it alone, but still, that’s so few,” Frank says. “I’m not sure how this date has gone.”

“Are you bitter about me not wanting to sleep with you?” Gerard says, looking offended.

“What? No! Of course not, that’s your right to feel that way, it’s just not how I live my life. I’m just not sure how I feel about you and I. I haven’t really felt a connection,” Frank says, but that’s partially a lie. Of the guys Brendon has set him up with, Gerard does seem like the best option. He’s pretty, set in his ways, funny, giggly, and not too sweet for comfort. He’s the right balance between nice and outspoken.

“Well okay then. I didn’t think it was that bad, but-”

“Well would you want to try this again?” Frank asks, not knowing what answer he wants to hear.

“I don’t know. I guess, n-no?”

“Okay then,” Frank says.

“Okay,” Gerard replies.

“Okay,” Frank repeats, and he doesn’t look at Gerard. He doesn’t know what to say now. Usually his dates end with taking the other guy home, and now that that’s not a possibility, he doesn’t really know what to do. How are dates supposed to end?

“Well now I don’t know what to say to you,” Gerard states.

“Me neither.”

“Does that really work for you?” Gerard asks.

“Almost always,” Frank admits.

“Yeah, I don’t think this is going to work.”

The rest of the ‘date’ is exceedingly uncomfortable, with loud sips of coffee and tentative eye contact. Frank’s a little disappointed in Brendon. Really? He thought this guy was right for him? He’s not like the guys Frank goes for, not even slightly. He’s clean, and innocent, which is not ideal. He’s shy, as well as self-contained. Just no.

At least the bet is still looking to be in Frank’s favor.